Valentino Page #7

Cosmetics, Miss Hudnut.

I am not Miss Hudnut.

I'm Natasha Rambova.

And soon she will be Mrs Valentino...

again.

Beg your pardon.

All the same, Miss Rambova,

I don't think your father'd like you

even looking at that card.

There's one thing

you should learn about me right now.

My stepfather's opinion is of little

consequence to me, Mr, er...

Ullman. Good.

Does that mean then that you won't

reject my proposition on those grounds?

Just what is your proposition?

Undertaking a tour.

The stages of America.

Mr and Mrs Rudolph Valentino.

An exercise in interpretive dance,

with a few kind words thrown in

for the product as the finale.

Vaudeville!

You must be out of your mind.

Huh! She must've been talking

to the people over at Mineralava,

'cause that's exactly what they said.

"Stick to booking dog acts in Vaudeville."

Do you expect me to appear in Vaudeville?

I who have danced with Vladimir Kosloff

and before the crowned heads of Europe?

- Anna Pavlova did.

- Pavlova, huh!

- We're artists, not acrobats.

- You're also broke.

Look, I don't want to spend the rest

of my life in the perfume business

any more than you want to spend yours

here on the rocks.

I'd like to take you over, manage you.

To prove my potential,

I've already convinced Mineralava

to cough up $7,500 a week.

Now, that's more

than you ever made in movies.

Total artistic control?

Took the words right out of my mouth.

Thirsty?

What about Lasky's injunction?

I can't perform for anyone but him.

That injunction only covers acting.

Not a word in there about dancing.

Are you positive?

My lawyers checked it out.

Are you thirsty?

Natasha, what do you think?

I just don't know, Rudolph.

What's she doing now?

Consulting our present business manager.

What does he say?

Meselope says he's thirsty.

Great! Wonderful!

(# Orchestra plays jaunty tune)

(# Music stops)

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Just one moment, please.

On behalf of my wife and myself,

I would...

One moment.

Thank you.

On behalf of my wife, Natasha,

and myself,

I would like to thank you

for the great ovation.

In the 53 cities we have

so far visited on our tour,

this is the warmest reception

we have ever received.

I would also like to thank

the makers of Mineralava

who made possible

our appearance here tonight.

And talking about appearances,

my wife owes her lovely complexion

solely to Mineralava beauty clay,

nature's answer to all skin problems.

I prefer Mineralava

to all other beauty products,

including Daddy's.

Bravo!

Typical!

Always biting the hand that fed her.

Excuse me, sir, but you have

to keep your remarks to yourself,

or else leave the theatre.

Lasky? I didn't recognise you.

No reason why you should, Ullman.

We've never met.

(# Orchestra strikes up)

I want you to break his contract

with Mineralava.

You won't be the loser by it.

I'll pretend you didn't say that, OK?

What's wrong?

You represent him now, don't you?

I was referring to your agent's fee.

- Well, you know his terms.

- Hers, you mean.

$10,000 a week,

his own chauffeur-driven limousine,

and I'll even throw in a bungalow

on the lot.

Gee, that even sounds reasonable.

But the final decision

doesn't rest with me.

You mean Mrs Valentino?

That's why I'm giving them

script approval

and putting her on the payroll

as artistic advisor.

Well, there's someone else to consult.

What? Well, whoever it is,

let me talk to him and fast.

Mr Lasky, I don't think

you'd want to do that.

What are you talking about?

Why wouldn't I want to do that?

You see, he's been dead 4,000 years.

Oh, the Goddamn bones.

Remember, darling,

you're the greatest lover in all Europe.

Forget you're from the Bronx.

You're a Countess.

Swoon, Lorna, swoon.

More restraint, Rudy,

more restraint!

Run your hands through his hair.

Don't muss his hair!

- Flutter your eyelids.

- Just a flicker of a smile, darling.

- Roll your eyes.

- That's it, Rudy. No.

- More.

- Less.

- More!

- Less!

Now close your eyes.

Roll your eyes, damn you.

Pant, Lorna, pant.

Still, Rudy, don't breathe.

Now roll your head.

- (Moans)

- (Natasha) Perfectly still!

You are going to die, Lorna.

(Natasha) Now brush her cheeks

with your lips.

(Sidney) Start closing your eyes.

(Natasha) Start opening your eyes.

(Sidney) Die of love.

Look at her cynically.

(Sidney) Die of ecstasy.

(Natasha) More cynically.

- More still.

- Are you ready for it?

- Stand by now.

- Stand by... kiss!

Do you think she tells him

what to do in bed?

Do you think we could say "cut" now?

Cut!

- (Gasping)

- A powder puff.

Who did that?

Get Lasky.

That was damn silly, eh, Rudy?

Are you still there?

Where are you?

Come down.

Will the perpetrator

of that childish prank own up?

I'd like to see what kind of man he is.

Whoever the jerk is...

...he's yellow.

Whoever he is,

I'll fight him here and now.

Lorna's right. He's yellow.

He's not worth bothering about.

Let's get back to work.

There will be no more shooting

on Valentino

unless the culprit owns up.

(Lasky) What's going on now, Natasha?

Another make-up problem?

Someone dropped this on Rudy

from the rails.

A pink powder puff -

who would do a thing like that?

Unless the guilty person

or persons responsible

for this thoughtless act owns up,

there will be no more shooting

on Valentino today.

Nobody's going to own up,

because nobody wants to get fired.

Hey, Jesse, if you ask me,

that sounds like victimisation.

If you want to be fair about this thing,

fire everybody.

I don't want anybody fired.

I just want to fight them.

I give my solemn promise

that if the person or persons

responsible for this thoughtless act

steps forward here and now

and apologises,

the apology will be accepted

and no further action taken.

Natasha, I must go back in there.

Huh! That'll look funny -

you just walked out.

Because I love you.

They're tearing us apart.

Why can't it be like it was before?

It will be. It will be.

After this one we can say goodbye

to Lasky forever.

United Artists?

George just fixed a deal.

He's coming over to the house

this afternoon with the contracts.

Well, that's what you've always wanted.

Oh, darling, all I've ever wanted

is to work beyond the reach

of every hamfist with a key

to the screening room.

I'll be the production designer,

the writer,

the director.

You'll play the part of your life.

A dark-skinned moor, bearded,

a sort of intellectual Othello.

The Falcon will be the perfect film

because it will be the work of one person:

us!

That's wonderful, dear.

But now I must go back inside there

or forever lose my self-respect.

Self-respect?

I call it vanity.

But if you really want to win

the respect of the crew,

you'd better screw that little whore Lorna.

And make sure everybody knows about it.

(Man) Hey! Come back here, you.

Hey, come here.

- Rudy!

- OK, little lady, are you coming quietly...

- Rudy!

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