Vanity Fair Page #2

No, I couldn't!

You say you love everything

that comes from India.

Take him.

He is my ambassador.

Hello.

Amelia!

Well?

He called me "dearest" twice,

and he squeezed my hand.

And look.

He gave me his precious bird.

- Well, surely that is a good sign.

- I know! I know!

Feel my heart,

how it beats.

What are you playing at

with the little governess?

- Well, I told her I was...

- Jos. Jos.

You've forgotten

how these things work.

Do you think the fellas

down at the club...

would let their wives

dine with a governess?

Seriously, Jos,

if I'm to marry your sister...

lf?

What are they talking about?

Can you guess?

Yes.

I think I probably can.

Oh, Becky, who knows?

It might turn out to be

a blessing in disguise.

The disguise

is very convincing.

Good luck.

Here. This is for you.

Oh.

It's one of my father's.

I've nothing else to give.

Oh, I couldn't.

Take it.

I want you to have it.

At least I know

it will be safe with you.

Oh, Becky!

Good stuff! Inside!

Off I go then.

Couldn't I pay for a seat inside?

They're all taken.

But don't worry.

I prefer the open air.

Hello, madame.

Hurry along now.!

Bye!

Get it on there.!

Queen's Crawley.!

Yes?

Can you tell Sir Pitt Crawley

that Miss Sharp has arrived.

And bring in my trunk

if you please.

- Miss Sharp?

- Yes, Miss Rebecca Sharp.

Governess to your master's children.

Now, will you kindly let me pass?

Certainly.

As for telling Sir Pitt,

there's no need.

Why not?

You've just told him yourself.

For these and all Thy other gifts

May the Lord make us truly thankful

Amen

Ah.!

You haven't met Lady Crawley,

my dear.

She's the girls' mother.

She's not the mother of my sons.

Is she, Pitt? No.

Pitt's mother, my first wife,

she was the daughter of a lord,

which makes him grander

than all of us put together,

doesn't it, Pitt?

Whatever you say, sir.

Oh, yes. Very grand.

Too grand for me.

But this one ain't.

Her father was an ironmonger,

wasn't he, my lady?

He was, sir.

Yeah.

When shall we discuss

the girls' lessons?

My strengths are music,

drawing and French,

but I can teach them

whatever you wish.

You'll be kind to my girls,

Miss Sharp?

Oh!

Don't worry. I'll treat them

just as sensitively as they deserve.

Hmph.

Hmph.

What is this?

It's, uh,

"Potage de mouton I'Ecossaise. '"

Oh, mutton broth.

What sheep was it, Horrocks?

When did you kill?

One of the black-faced Scots, Sir Pitt.

We killed on Thursday.

Did she squeal?

Didn't she just.

Oh, good.

Always improves the flavor, that.

Oh.

"To be honest, dearest Amelia,

"Sir Pitt is not what you and I

would think a baronet should be.

More ancient stable than ancient fable."

No lights after 11:;00,

you little hussy.

Go to bed in the dark,

unless you'd like me to come in

for your candle every night, hmm?

"All in all, my hopes for the family lie

with Sir Pitt's younger son,

Captain Rawdon Crawley,

who will soon be back from

his regiment. '"

I would like...

to go to Spain.

Je voudrais allez en Spain.

And that's an "E."

"His brother, Mr. Pitt Crawley, meanwhile,

has the charm of an undertaker...

and the humor of a corpse. '"

Uh, Miss Sharp,

I thought you might like to see

my pamphlet on the Chickasaw tribes.

I swear, Mr. Crawley,

you must be a mind reader.

For there is no subject

of more interest to me.

"You'll be happy to hear I've found a way

to make myself indispensable to Sir Pitt.

There is to be a visitor

at Humdrum Hall. '"

Please!

Be careful with that.

"Sir Pitt has a half-sister

as rich as Croesus,

whom, or should I say which,

he adores. '"

No! No, no!

No, no, no, no!

She's organizing those!

Stupid wench!

"And now he is all of a dither

to make the house ready

to receive her. '"

Up! Up, up, up!

A little higher.

"We are quite a party.

"Mr. Pitt's intended,

LadyJane Sheepshanks,

has arrived with her mother,

"the old Countess of Southdown,

whom Sir Pitt detests.

"I promise you, dearest Amelia,

that by the time I have finished,

Hmm.

"The old man will have

a very proper sense of the merits

ofhis latest employee.

I will bring order from chaos

and light from darkness. '"

Quickly now!

Sorry, sir.

By Heaven!

Miss Becky,

we don't deserve you.

Steady now.! Steady.! Steady.!

"They say Miss Crawley

means to leave her fortune

to Captain Rawdon Crawley,

who will accompany her

for thejourney. '"

I see Pitt's intended is among the guests.

They'll be after you to marry next.

Oh, Aunt Tilly, how could I,

when my heart belongs to you?

- Matilda!

- Wicked boy!

Welcome.

Brother.

You know

Lady Southdown, I think,

and her daughter, LadyJane.

Aunt Matilda,

on behalf of the entire Crawley...

Keep your toadying

till I get to a fire.

You can suck up all you wish

once I'm warm.

Well, that's put us in our place.

We may have the titles, Mama,

but Miss Crawley has the money.

Mm, and don't we know it.

Put the trunk inside.!

Now, Miss Becky,

this is my younger son,

Rawdon.

And mind you stay clear

ofhis fluttering lashes.

He breaks hearts

for a hobby, but...

he's a soldier

through and through.

- I'm warned.

- Mm-hmm.

With a little liquor, I can do it.

You must be bored

as a brick down here.

I have your father

and brother for company.

Precisely.

Not a great many laughs

in Miss Crawley, I can tell you.

I seem to remember

anchovy paste is a favorite delicacy

of yours, Aunt Tilly.

But not for do... doggies.

I don't agree.

I suspect she's the quickest wit

in the room.

No, no, no.

I mean my brother, not my aunt.

They used to call him

"Miss Crawley" at Eton.

Go on. Admit it.

He looks a little underweight.

He's the dullest dog

in shoe leather.

Really, Captain Crawley.

Are you trying to steer me

towards an indiscretion?

Why?

Would you like me to?

No man has managed it yet.

- What was that?

- Nothing. A false note.

Allez, Rose, Celia. Dpchez.

Faites vos obeissances a votre tante.

Don't waste your time,

Miss Sharp.

All foreign languages

are ancient Greek to my sisters.

And they always will be

if they're not spoken before them.

I quite agree, Miss Sharp.

What a treat to find someone

cultured in this house.

Vous parlez bien.

Merci.

My mother was French.

A French mother?

Now, that's altogether

too romantic for a governess.

Who was she?

Have you heard

of the Montmorencys?

Who has not?

So, you're an impoverished aristocrat.

Pity.

I had you down for an adventuress.

And are they mutually exclusive?

Oh, please tell me there's something

disreputable in your past.

Well, my father was an artist.

Ah, that's better.

A starving one, I hope.

Absolutely ravenous.

Who's ravenous... besides me?

Horrocks? When's dinner?

Any minute now,

Sir Pitt.

Good.

I'd best excuse myself.

Come along, girls.

- Is Miss Sharp not to dine with us?

- Well, don't ask me. Ask Pitt.

Mm.

Nephew?

I hope she's not banished

in my honor.

You know I am nothing

if not democratic.

It's no great sacrifice

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