Vanity Fair Page #3

in the cause of peace.

Of course,

Miss Sharp must dine with us

if you wish it, Aunt.

Dinner is served!

Good!

Come along, my dear.

You'll sit by me.

And after dinner,

we shall abuse the company.

Really,

the hoops she makes

us jump through.

I don't mind, Mama.

I like Miss Sharp.

Mm.

Caesar liked Brutus

and look where it got him.

- All these and all Thy other gifts may...

- Pitt!

Amen.

Aunt Matilda,

you are the guest ofhonor.

Um, what shall we drink to?

Better food and a warmer room.

Should we not drink to peace at

last... with Napoleon safe on Elba?

To the men who put him there...

to Wellington and Nelson.

Wellington and Nelson.

Wellington I grant you, hmm,

but, um, it is hard

to match Nelson's heroism...

with his private life.

The life of Alexander

did not bear much scrutiny.

Is he not a hero, either?

Quite right, Miss Sharp.

And to my mind, that was

the best part of Nelson's character!

He went to the deuce for a woman.

There must be some good

in a man who'll do that.

Hmm.

I adore imprudent matches.

- Wellington and Nelson.

- Wellington...

Mm. You set no store

by birth, then?

Birth?

Look at this family.!

We've been

at Queen's Crawley

since Henry II,

but not one of us here

is as clever as Miss Sharp.

- To all the King's officers!

- All the King's officers!

The King's officers.

Mmm, lobster.

Delicious.

Come in, my dear.

I've left my toadies in London.

And what bores they are

downstairs.

It falls to you

to make me laugh.

She's clever enough,

isn't she, Firkin?

I think Miss seems

very clever.

Oh, yes.

If merit had its just reward,

you ought to be a duchess.

Mm.

You set no store by birth, then?

Mm.

Silly old fool,

grabbing at my money

for her daughter's intended,

that hypocrite Pitt.

He should put down his Bible

and do the dirty work himself.

With a decent position,

you could put the world on a leash.

Perhaps I'll surprise you

and run away with a great man.

Oh, that'd be perfect.

I love elopements.

I've set my heart on Rawdon

running away with someone.

A rich someone

or a poor someone?

Well, above all,

a clever someone.

He's the dearest of creatures,

but not the wisest.

What's the matter?

Oh, it's the lobster.

They've poisoned me

with the lobster.

Off you go.

Sir Pitt? Mm.

Can I not be of any assistance?

L- I don't think so, madam.

The doctor is with her now.

The best we can do

is pray, pray for her soul.

Mm.

And for her

hundred thousand.

Ohh.

Will she live, Doctor?

Well, I've pumped her.

I've purged her.

There's nothing more I can do.

Now, it rests with the Lord.

Uh, would you like to settle

with me now, Sir Pitt?

Tomorrow,

if you don't mind, Doctor.

I only pays on results.

How do I look?

A good deal stronger.

They will be disappointed.

Lady Southdown hovers

at the door night and noon.

"Mm-mm, I always travel

with my medicine chest.

"Can I not be of any assistance...

with my special tonics?"

That's a dose I doubt I'd live through.

Nonsense!

It's Captain Rawdon

that needs you dead.

Lady Southdown and Mr. Pitt Crawley

want you well enough to change your will.

Rebecca Sharp,

I've made up my mind.

You must come with me

to London.

I insist upon it,

and so does Byron.

And we won't be gainsaid,

will we?

But what could I say

to dear Sir Pitt,

after all his kindness?

Oh, leave him to me.

When a man has two sons

and a rich spinster sister,

he seldom gainsays her,

my dear.

Must you go, Rawdon?

Uh, l-I thought you might stay

for some shooting.

Oh, no. I... I thought it best

to see them safely back home...

to, uh, Mayfair.

Clear the way, there!

There she goes,

the best little governess

the girls ever had.

Mm, mm.

Suppose I better write to

Miss Pinkerton for a replacement.

Let me, Sir Pitt.

Mm, Miss Pinkerton is an old friend,

and I should so like to be useful.

Mm.

Meddlesome old cat.

"My dear, Miss Pinkerton, mm.

"Apupil of yours has recently

come to my notice, mm.

"I should so like to know

more ofher history.

Her name is Rebecca Sharp. '"

The governor will miss you.

Sir Pitt has been good to me.

Who wouldn't be?

Apples! Juicy apples!

Come on, people!

Juicy apples!

Welcome to London.

Oh, goodness.! Look busy.

The mistress is home.!

Here we are, my dear.

Who was that?

It's my neighbor,

the Marquess of Steyne.

Why?

No reason.

Are you going out?

I'm meeting Tarquin and Villiers.

And the rest of the chaps.

We might play some billiards.

Ah, yeah.

Lord Tarquin

and the HonorableJohn Villiers.

It is not done to pronounce

"the Honorable" aloud.

Well, well.

You know these things

better than I.

What I wonder is: Do they ask

you to their homes, these chaps?

Do you meet their mothers

and their sisters?

Sometimes.

Because you shall not want,

you know?

The British merchant's son

shan't want.

You may marry whom you please

and keep her well.

Father.

George is engaged.

It's understood...

Then it can be un-understood.

Don't you see, boy?

There's nothing you can't have

if you will reach for it.

Why not a viscount's daughter?

Better yet, an earl's.

Or marry an heiress

and buy a peerage for yourself!

You shouldn't read in a carriage.

It will make you sick.

Reading always makes me sick.

Who's it from?

My friend, Amelia Sedley.

I thought she might have set a date

for her marriage, but it seems not.

And who is her intended?

Captain George Osborne.

Osborne?

Any relation to the Duke of Leeds?

Oh, no, ma'am.

He's a tradesman's son.

Oh!

I know Osborne.

He's in one of the line regiments.

He's as green as this grass...

and will go to the deuce

to be seen with a lord.

Captain Osborne's vanity

must make him a tempting victim.

I say, Aunt. Why don't we do

Miss Sharp a favor...

and invite them over?

If you think it would be amusing.

I am glad to see

Miss Crawley knows your worth.

As long as George knows yours.

Of course he does.

- Shall I play for you?

- Oh, thank you, my dear.

Rawdon, will you explain

the rules of piquet to Miss Sedley?

- I've quite forgotten.

- Be careful, Amelia.

Captain Crawley

knows his cards.

I'm warned.

Oh, there are

no fortunes in piquet.

All the same, be kind to her.

She is my only friend.

Not your only friend,

Miss Sharp.

Rawdon, you explain.

Now, come along.

- You may discard up to five.

- Oh, do go away.

So, Miss Sharp.

- How do you like your new place?

- My place?

How kind of you to remind me.

It's quite tolerable, thank you.

And they treat me very well.

But then,

this is a gentleman's family...

and quite a change

from tradespeople.

You seemed to like tradespeople

well enough last year.

Joseph Sedley, you mean?

It's true.

If he'd asked me,

I would not have said no.

How very obliging of you.

I know what you're thinking.

What an honor to have had you

for a brother-in-law.

Captain George Osborne,

son ofJohn Osborne, Esquire,

son of...

what was your grandfather?

Never mind.

You cannot help your pedigree.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes