Very Bad Things Page #16

MICHAEL:

Right.

MOORE:

That's right.

As the little kids put their lips up to the windows, making

funny faces,

BOYD:

You're goddamn right. Adam?

Adam is silent, watching the beautiful chaos that is his

family.

ADAM:

(reluctant)

Right.

EXT. SUBURBAN

As the guys get out and are mauled by the hyper kids and

Lois and Liz.

LOIS:

(with camera)

Group shot. Here we go boys! Yes

sir, compare and contrast time!

She starts herding the boys into a group pose.

LOIS:

Feeling a little HUNGOVER are we? Do

you kids take note?

(taking pictures)

See how pathetic Daddy and his jackass

friends look?!

Fisher makes eye contact with Liz.

LIZ:

What's the word on the chairs?

FISHER:

I'm working on it.

LIZ:

Then you'd better work on it in the

car. We gotta go see the Judge.

INT. JUDGE'S OFFICE

ON JUDGE LAUREL TOWER.

JUDGE TOWER:

We don't say "love, honor and obey"

anymore. And we don't say "till death

do us part." Today we say, "respect,

honor and cherish, as long as you

both do love." How does that sound?

LIZ:

I kind of like "till death do us

part." I mean, this is forever. In

sickness and in health, through good

times and bad. Honey, what do you

think?

Liz looks at Fisher who is a nuclear wreck, barely coherent.

FISHER:

Yea... It's great... seems like... I

don't know you've got all the

important stuff in there.

JUDGE TOWER:

All right then. It's refreshing to

see two young people not afraid of

real commitment. Will you have friends

or family saying words -- singing or

anything?

FISHER:

(beat)

Are we supposed to?

JUDGE TOWER:

It's not a question of supposed to,

it's an entirely personal decision...

Some do some don't.

LIZ:

We don't think so. I mean, we just

want the singing when I come out.

JUDGE TOWER:

Okay great. What will that be?

LIZ:

We're just going to have the leader

of the band sing alone with his

guitar. Acoustic.

JUDGE TOWER:

What song?

LIZ:

"You Send Me."

JUDGE TOWER:

Oh I know that. How does it go...

LIZ:

You know,

(talks it)

Darling you... you send me... Darling

you... You mend me.

(to Fisher)

Honey, sing it for Judge Tower.

In lieu of an anxiety attack, Fisher...

FISHER:

(sings)

"Darli...ing you, ewe ewe ewe, send

me, Darli...ing you, ewe ewe ewe,

mend me.

LIZ:

"At first I thought it was

infatuation... But oh it's lasted so

long..."

FISHER & LIZ

"Now I find myself wanting to marry

you, marry you and take you home..."

Judge Tower joins in and the three squeak out the chorus and

it's pretty pathetic.

MUSIC OVER:

INT. TUXEDO RENTAL STORE

The guys are being fitted for their wedding tuxes.

Lois takes pictures of the five groomsmen.

Liz closely watches as the TAILOR makes adjustments to

Fisher's tux.

Adam looks sick.

EXT. SANTA MONICA PIER - SUNSET

Fisher and his dad walk along the pier eating hot dogs. A

father and son moment.

MR. FISHER

I wanted to just take this final

opportunity to visit with you. You

know, just to be with you, father

and son, before you run off and do

your own husband, daddy thing.

(starts to choke-up)

I'm just so goddamn proud of you...

God knows I didn't always play it

right with you...

FISHER:

You did all right dad.

MR. FISHER

I could have done it better. I'm a

f***ing ball-buster I am.

FISHER:

You never walked away dad. You could

have walked away.

MR. FISHER

I'm just so scared of that song.

That f***ing, "My son just arrived

the other day... he says thanks for

the ball, come on let's play. I got

lots of bills come again next day.

He's grown up just like me... My boy

is just like me." Gordon f***ing

Lightfoot, Cat Stevens, whoever,

that song just f***ing kills me.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes