Victor Crowley Page #2

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With sh*t... whatever.

- Ooh, sick burn, Alex.

- Will you just stay

out of this, rose.

I'm tired.

- You used all the hot water.

- I took a shower last night.

- It's your fault.

- It's always your fault, Alex.

Rose!

- They're just b*obs, Chloe.

- Friends aren't supposed to

see each other naked this much.

- I'm okay with it.

- Don't even.

- Hey, you're the one who said

I couldn't have my own room,

Ms. director.

If I have to share this

condemned hotel with you

and listen to you two awkwardly

do it all night long,

I think you can deal with

my tits for a few minutes.

- Wait, you heard us?

- Depends.

Do you mean the minute long

one at around midnight

or three minutes

at around two-thirty?

"Do you think

she can hear us?"

"Oh, no,

she's definitely asleep."

"Oh, stop! Stop!

Exit only, exit only!"

Which by the way, Chloe,

you're missing out

in a major way, you prude.

- I'm sorry that you

couldn't have your own room

but we're on a budget, okay?

- Clearly.

I think I just got gonorrhea

from the shower.

I need to stop on the way to

get more supplies for my kit.

- Wait, but we'll miss

the book signing.

- Do you want fake blood

in your horror movie or not?

- Alright, well

let's get a move on then.

Alex, change your clothes.

- Hey, you know what

I've always been wondering?

Why do they movie

commercials "trailers",

if they play them

before the movie?

- Alex, you had one job.

- What?

- I got the face wrong,

didn't I?

- There, ah, wasn't any other

daytime show I could've done

besides my ex-wife's?

- Sabrina's producers offered

the most amount of money.

And who cares?

As your publicist,

I'm telling you,

you killed it in there.

- No, I didn't.

That was a disaster, Kathleen.

God and she still

treats me like a criminal.

- People are gonna think

whatever they wanna think,

as long as they buy your book,

why do you care

if they hate read it?

- It's a good book.

- It's an amazing book.

- I think people are going

to be very moved by it.

- Are you kidding me?

I think everyone in the world

is gonna love it.

How could they not?

- You haven't read it either?

- It's on my list.

- Murderer!

- I was exonerated!

Almost a decade ago,

but everywhere I go,

people still act

like I, I, i--

- like you chopped up forty or

something people in the swamp

and you blamed it on

a make believe ghost?

- Whose side are you on?

- Come on.

We gotta go.

Listen to me.

It's almost over.

All you have to do is cash out

on the anniversary

of this bullshit

and then you

put it behind you

and you spend

the rest of your life

counting your money

back in Japan.

- I'm from Baton Rouge.

And I'm Chinese!

- Are you sure?

- Hey, you're shaking.

- No, I'm not.

- I can see the outline

of your excitement

dripping down

the inside of your jeans.

- You're not helping, rose.

Do these jeans make me

look unprofessional?

- No, you look great.

- I mean, if I was presenting

myself as a director,

I probably wouldn't

have worn jeans.

I'm losing my sh*t, you guys.

We're about the meet the only

guy to ever see Victor crowley

and live to tell about it.

- Yeah, yeah.

I mean, if you believe in

that kinda stuff, right.

- Are you with me or not?

- Of course I'm with you, yeah.

I believe in you, Chloe.

I believe in you, I don't

believe in any of this stuff

but I love you, Chloe,

and I know for a fact

that one day

I am going to see you

win an academy--

- it's him.

Oh my god, that's him.

- Excuse me.

Thank you.

Excuse me, he's here.

Yes, he is.

Okay...

- Ah-huh, yeah.

Really?

Oh my god.

- Hang on here.

One, two...

Oh, this is a big one...

Three.

All fixed.

Perfect.

- There you go.

- Oh my god.

Hi.

- Hi.

- Do you mind?

It's Kristina,

Kristina with a k.

- Sure, Kristina with a k.

Um...

Should I...

Which... which one?

- Ooh, could you do one

to Kristina with a k

and one for my dad?

His name's bill...

With a b.

- How much do you wanna bet

that every other person

in this line

is pitching him

on being in their movie.

He's probably going to be

in every single movie now.

- Probably not though.

- Well, when we get back

from this trip,

I'm going to have

a kick-ass mock trailer

to add to my

presentation package.

But, if could also tell

potential investors

that I got the real

Andrew yong

to, to agree to be in

the actual movie...

Can you imagine what

they would say?

- Yeah, they'd be like,

"who the f*** is that?"

Nope.

No, they'd say,

"wow, it's the Asian

tom Hanks,

here's a hundred

million dollars."

- Can I have the

production folder, please?

- You're holding it.

- That's right.

- You see this?!

Huh!?

Look at him!

You murderer!

- Okay-

- look at his face!

His name was Chad

and he was my brother

and you murdered him!

- Oh god,

I'm sorry for your loss

but I lost people

in that swamp, too.

- Yeah, I know you got off,

but you're not gonna

get away with this.

You better watch

your f***ing back.

You know what?

Keep it.

I hope his face haunts

you to your grave!

- It's okay, skip.

He'll get what's

coming to him.

He'll get his.

You...

Are going to burn in hell.

Do I have any security?

- You're an ex-paramedic,

not Steven Tyler.

Oh, this is Kathleen.

- Hey there.

- Yeah, I'm not

gonna buy your book...

Probably just torrent

the audio version,

but ah,

can you sign this?

You can make it out to Linus.

- Sorry, I, I, i

don't sign... those.

- I just saw you

sign that girl's tits.

What are you, homophobic?

- Kathleen?

Kathleen!

I can't stop looking at it.

- What's your problem?

Just sign my cock.

- I'd really like to--

Kathleen, seriously?

- Hey!

Get out here with that sh*t!

Go on.

Move!

- I'm telling everybody

on the Facebook

that you're a homophobe.

- Oh, whatever.

Most people call him a murder,

so take your best shot!

- Thanks?

- Hi, ah, Mr. yong.

My name is Chloe Benjamin.

I messaged you on Twitter.

Do you remember?

Um, I'm making a movie

about the crowley murders...

Hatchet face.

Um, we're here in New Orleans

shooting a mock trailer

to help raise the rest

of the financing for the film

and I wanted to ask

you in person,

well, I was wondering if--

- sorry, kids.

We just got the offer

of a lifetime.

We are leaving now.

- No, no more appearances

or signings.

I told you, alright.

- Oh my god, totally.

Except for this one.

- Kathleen, I just--

- okay-sorry!

Sorry, signing's off.

- No, but we flew

a long way to be here.

- Ah, well that's really great

but the autograph

session is done.

- Ma'am, we are making a movie

about the 2007 massacre

and we just need a minute--

- I can't wait to see it,

Wes craven.

Excuse me, everybody,

but mr yong has

a family emergency.

Thank you so much for coming

and enjoy the book.

Come on. Come on.

- Um, wait but...

- Now! Fast!

- Son!-

- excuse me.

- Andrew, wait!

- I told you that guy

was a douchebag.

- Come on, Chloe.

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