Vihtori ja Klaara

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If all the Vihtoris in this

world would understand -

how to raise their Klaaras -

then none of them would

as a poor Vihtori stand -

if only they'd listen to us

If you can't make your Klaara

happy during the day -

try again at night

At noon, she sounds like

a trombone being played -

but at night

she's quiet and light

Miss!

Bull's eye

For the last time,

coming to the opera?

Dear Klaara,

I'm a music lover -

who prefers Georg

Malmsten on the radio

Malmsten, you say?

Not that one,

it's an original Aalto

Don't care if it's a Sibelius

How far are you trying to get?

To 899, 753

And then?

Well, you see, then

I'll be World Champion

My picture in the paper

and a statue in the back yard

The holder of the present world

record was a Czech inmate

A tragic case

He could've gotten really far -

but just as he was

at eight hundred -

ninetynine thousand -

seven hundred -

and fifty-two,

the thread broke

The thread of life, I mean

A cellmate accidentally

dropped a crowbar -

on his head

Ten points, yeah.

Love is blind, -

but marriage is

the best eye medicine

Mom and Dad are discussing

going to the opera again

Yeah, yeah. That was

the Japanese vase -

that Uncle Rupert

stole in Paris

- I was supposed to inherit it.

- Stupid

Neither of us is

going to inherit china

Huh? - Huh

And the blind chicken

found the kernel again

To the opera

That's a good place

for little Vihtori

The girls are dancing and the

boys are singing cuckoo

God almighty,

it's nine o'clock -

and the last act

is on at the opera

Yippee, the Missus in gone

I see

I ought to spank you,

you weasel

Since I'm in a good

mood, I'll spare you

As punishment, you'll

take Pipi out for a walk

Pipi, the beast?

Vappu

- Vappu, coming to the opera?

- No, I'd rather sleep at home

Nisse, put that cigar away

Damn, I lost count again

You've been losing things

for 30 years now

Like father, like son

Thank God,

I'm not like Mother

Pipi

Daddy's little Pipi

Come to Daddy,

I'll give you sugar

Pipi, Pipi, Pipi

Won't you goddamn

mangy dog obey me?

Oh heck, Pipi!

The old man's got

an aerodynamic mutt!

Is your wolf angry, Sir?

It's afraid of cats

Our cat wouldn't even

want to bite that thing

Quick, take this beast

to the first lamppost

Two portions of mutton and

cabbage for Vihtori Vuorenkaiku

Two portions of veal

bones for Pipi Vuorenkaiku

Well, are the Vuorenkaiku

men here again?

That family's going to speak

with their hads again tonight

I gather you had a chat -

- with your wife again?

- How so?

Looks like she drew -

her opinions on your face

Oopsy-daisy, dear Tomi

I'm almost

a professor of marriage

This is part of my

newest invention

A hundred ways

to survive a marriage

That was a heck of a strike

I don't think my Klaara

could strike better

Is she a real good striker?

Yeah, but she's even

better at throwing things

I was just thinking -

that she'd be a sparring

partner for my son Klasu

That poor kid can't get

a decent partner

Klaara would be too

expensive for your Klasu

Hospitals are so damn

expensive nowadays

He won't be

hospitalized that easily

He is fighting -

for the heavy

middleweight title

Damn, I was supposed

to listen to it on the radio

I'm afraid I must part

with this pleasant company

No, we're like

the Agrarian Party Cabinet

We never disband

Let's go to my place

to listen to the radio

Louhinen goes at Klasu

Tullari like a whirlwind

But he dodges

Louhinen's punches -

and counters

with snappy lefts

Tullari's left straight goes in

Louhinen grabs him,

Tullari beaks loose

The whirlwind attacks

ferociously, but misses

Klasu Tullari lays one

more on Louhinen's chin

Followed by a

right hook in the gut

Louhinen is reeling

The crowd is cheering

Now we're in trouble

False alarm,

your wife's at the opera -

and they talk so long

there that we're safe

I just thought that what

if the show's cancelled -

because the tenor

didn't show up

Tullari has

knocked out Louhinen

The referee is counting

five, six, seven

A knock-out!

The heavyweight champion

is once again Klasu Tullari -

from Helsinki's Boxing Cub

Great, great!

Hey, hey!

Vihtori!

Where's Vihtori?

Next

Like the Agrarian Party

Cabinet, we never disband

Didn't break

You miserable

excuse of a man

Please don't,

my dove, my love

Darling?

Ouch, ouch! Klaara,

my dove, my love

Please don't, ouch!

Vuorenkaiku

Yes, this is Vihtori

The Vihtori of all poor Vihtoris,

the super-Vihtori

Oh, is it you, sweetheart?

God morning, dear,

my own darling

Good morning, funnyface

Do you have

other sweethearts -

- since you didn't recognize my voice?

- No, not even at home

Well, that I do know

Otherwise, you wouldn't

like me so much

Well, you know,

my sweet little darling

tax-free into the harbor -

will make. Let me see

Just a minute, Sir, I'll check

You goddamn boy

Run instantly to the pharmacy

and bring me a pound of...

A pint of chlorine water and

two pounds of cotton. Got that?

- Yes, Sir.

- Hey, also, bring me.

- Hey, you!

- The usual load of beer

Damn kid, get out!

Ouch, ouch

Hello? Hello?

Still there, little darling?

Did little Daddy

have fun last night -

- the way he's huffing and puffing?

- No, love

Daddy's feeling fine

Remember, darling,

that we were going to -

- Kaivohuone to celebrate.

- Oh, darling -

I can't possibly tonight

Even less than before

If you knew what

a circus we've had here

Worse than ever

during my marriage

- Oh, Auntie Klaara again?

- Yes

She had something

to do with it

Vuorenkaiku. - You're going

to sleep though dinner, too

Oh no, darling

You scurried around like a

weasel before we got married

Goodbye, my love

What did you say,

you double-oaf?

Are you conscious enough -

- to talk business with?

- Yes

- How much do you need?

- I'm buying a beauty salon

Too late, darling.

Rather buy a hospital -

so that I'd have

some use of it, too

Come here and repeat that

Or shall I come there?

- No, my love.

- Then it's done

I'll buy the salon

for me and Vappu

Yes, love. - It'll be a rendez-

vouz point for the nobility

Mrs Mielonen

will be green with envy

Yes, love

In the evenings, ladies

will have coffee there

Yes, love

And I can have

three baths a day

Yes, love

- And pedicures for my hands

and everything. - Yes, love

So, I'll go and buy the shop

Send me some money,

so that I can pay cash

No, goddamnit and hell no!

You're not buying

that salon, no way!

Sir?

Damn

Don't swear, Dad, it

doesn't become a great man

- But everything's going straight to.

- Hush!

Quiet, Dad, no wonder,

it's Friday the 13 th

In my marriage, it's

always Friday the 13 th

Speaking of marriage -

I came to tell you

that I'm getting married

- What? Married?

- Yes

I'll be damned

Matrimony seems to

be running in the family

My grandfather was married,

good old Pops got married

Not to mention me.

And now my daughter -

tells me that she's

getting married

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