Viktor und Viktoria Page #2

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In an hour it'll be over.

I'll get stuck. You'll see.

The main thing is to save the 10 marks.

Everything else is unimportant.

What if I can't go on halfway through?

I'll take care of that, after all,

I want us to earn those ten marks.

You appeared to me

as a rescuing angel,

you understood my misery,

and I had this brilliant idea.

How did it go again? Please help me!

Come along to Madrid

or wherever you want to go,

I'll give you a kiss, a kiss

or whatever else you desire.

I've been feeling so strangely

Spanish for some time now,

that even while sleeping

I say:
Ol!

Come along to Madrid

or wherever you want to go,

I have to go to the country

where Carmen is at home,

I can't take it anymore,

I have to get out,

Come along to Madrid

or wherever you want to go,

VIKTORIA:

MUSICAL COMEDY:

TODAY:

NEW PROGRAM:

No, I do not dare.

Miss Susanne, be a man,

don't behave like a girl!

You know I'm broke,

and my future depends on you.

I've already pawned my suit, my landlady

is angry and will give me notice.

The shoemaker has even threatened

to kill me if I don't pay.

Miss Susanne, take heart,

pity my grief.

And don't forget one thing: one

would like to eat some beefsteak again.

SILENCE:

- Are you Viktoria?

- No.

Yes! It's me.

Hurry, you're up right away.

- Who are you?

- I'm going along with my colleague.

- What?

- I'm going along with my colleague.

Acetate of alumina.

I've already drunken it.

I've been hoarse since then.

Don't drink it.

Put it round the neck!

WOMENS' DRESSING ROOM

A man! A man!

Close the door!

I'm not going in there.

MENS' DRESSING ROOM

Wild horses couldn't drag me there.

I'm not going into

the mens' dressing room.

I do not want to go and I won't go!

Do you want one?

- Good evening, how are you?

- Fine, thank you.

Long time no see!

- What is on today?

- Great numbers.

A first-class programme.

- Beer?

- Lager.

All right. Waiter, two beers!

Some chocolate? Ice cream?

Lemonade! Hot, very hot!

Not surprising! With a scarf

as thick as that, I'd feel hot, too.

Lemonade, hot lemonade, stupid!

Old fool!

Has your father been a glazier?

Hands off there!

Spanish fire has always

run through my veins

And my heart is beating

like castanets.

Spain, only you take away my sleep

and I'm wild about

the friendly toreros.

I also love Spanish dressing screens,

and a kiss from Madrid

says it all.

Come along to Madrid

Or wherever you want to go.

I'll give you a kiss, a kiss

or whatever else you desire.

I've been feeling so strangely

Spanish for some time now,

That even while sleeping I say ...

Ol!

Come along to Madrid

or wherever you want to go,

I have to go to the country

where Carmen is at home.

I can't take it anymore,

I have to get out,

come along to Madrid

or wherever you want to go,

Or wherever you want go,

or wherever you want to go.

- A man?

- Of course.

Idiot!

Apple tree! Apple tree!

Miss Director, the salary, please.

Ten? Wasn't it twelve?

Do you suffer from delusions?

That's enough.

The dealer wins ten! Goodbye.

Someone wants to speak to you.

Hello.

"How do you do, Mister Viktoria?"

My compliments, that was fabulous.

Enormous talent, you'll be popular.

You only need some promotion,

because you can't do without ballyhoo.

But don't fear, I'll take care of it.

You won't find anyone more skilled.

Your name will be famous.

That's my specialty.

- I do not know ...

- Who I am?

Francesco Alberto Punkertin.

At home in all the world, I go in

and out at every theatre direction.

I recognize an attraction

at first sight.

You are my man, I am your good fate.

And everything depends on it.

How much do you get here?

Ten marks.

Per night.

How ridiculous! I guarantee you

200 for the next five years.

That is a net of,

minus my commission,

A quarter million.

With me, you're in the right place.

And take special heed of this:

"Obliged to perform the number

in all languages."

That's very important, young man,

I don't want to lose any country.

Go ahead diligently,

we'll start in London.

The world will be yours, and more

importantly, a lot of money.

Send me this paper,

but it must be signed,

and rather quickly:

Grand Hotel, room 2.

"Au revoir, gute Nacht, goodbye."

Viktoria!

We made it!

Congratulations!

There's never been luck like this!

Yesterday, there was nothing,

and today we have a meteoric success.

Sign, sign!

Before he changes his mind.

- You've lost your mind.

- How?

- I'm to sign this?

- Of course.

No way.

Well, now you have lost your mind.

Heaven sends you a man,

who puts millions on the table for you,

and you don't even

want to think about it?

No.

If it had been offered to me,

I would have signed it right away!

Do it. You are Viktoria, after all.

I have been.

From today, you are Viktoria.

I do not want to do it.

I am a girl and will remain a girl.

What have you achieved by being a girl?

Have you been hired?

You have not been hired!

And you won't be hired!

But as a man,

they will scramble to get you.

In fact, they already scrambled.

And you do not want to be scrambled?!

But Herr Hempel, don't you understand?

No, I don't understand.

Do you want to become a celebrity?

Yes.

Do you want to make a fortune?

Yes.

Do you want the world at your feet?

Yes.

Well, sign.

Viktor.

One moment. I, A.

How?

Viktor-ia.

Viktoria.

Viktoria!

And now to work!

Study French, brood over English,

bone up on Italian,

get drilled in Spanish,

Romanian, Turkish, Japanese,

Chinese, Russian and Slovakian.

We'll make our way

through the complete Berlitz school!

Mr. Punkertin,

We won't disappoint you!

- We?

- Of course, we.

I won't let such a young boy

go out into the world alone!

With you on my arm,

I'll challenge my century!

We must succeed by all means,

We won't rest until we've won victory,

We won't leave our path

until we have the world at our feet

We want to be in the limelight on stage,

and people shall cheer when they see us,

We want to be on the posters in

bold face, at the top, at the very top,.

At the very top!

- Pretty girl!

- Very pretty!

That's a matter of taste.

Exactly, all a matter of taste.

But... you are also "wunderfull".

You me... "unterstand"?

Don't strain yourself,

you can speak German with me.

I was baptized with Spree water.

Wonderful!

To find such a sweet girl

at the Thames, of all places!

- Handsome boy, right?

- It's a matter of taste, isn't it?

Yes, a very handsome boy.

Miss Schulze,

agreed, after the show I'll wait

for you at the stage entrance.

How? Ah! Yes, yes.

Don't forget, at the stage entrance.

- Excuse me?

- What? No, not you.

Goodbye, goodbye!

What do you say? Are you content?

Contracts from the North and the South,

hourly telegrams from Milan,

Rome, Paris, Amsterdam.

I'll make you famous in the whole world,

contracts, promotion and money.

- Well, Mr. Viktoria, am I hardworking?

- Yes.

You see, Punkertin

does the right thing!

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