Vinyl Page #8

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Never mind bite the

hand that feeds.

We go and bite their

f***ing heads off.

I hate the nursing home business.

It reminds me of bald cabbage.

- Come on. We'll take my car.

- Brilliant, mate.

- Who will pay the petrol?

- A bit skinned.

I think I can cover it.

Minto.

- Let's do it.

- You know it.

- What are you doing?

- I've lived here for 20 years.

It's the Single Shots.

How's it going? Free rock and roll.

No, no, no, don't stop here.

They'll see us on security.

All right.

All right, lads. Johnny Jones.

Weapons of Happiness.

Sorry, it's off limits.

- We're famous.

- Take it up with the bookers.

We've been on the charts loads

of times. First back in '79.

- I was born in 1987.

- F***ing squirt.

Single Shots coming up.

Listen. I've got an idea.

That was your plan, ey?

Kick him in the goolies?

Well, it worked. Didn't it?

Hey!

Split up!

Security, Contact the

gate immediately.

Repeat, immediately.

This is a security alert.

Please be on the lookout

for four middle-aged men.

I repeat. Four middle-aged men.

Split up means go

different directions.

Security breach...

be on the lookout

for four out-of-shape

middle-aged blokes.

Middle aged? I'm not middle aged.

Bollocks.

I got one of these old geezers.

I'm not a f***ing

old geezer. All right?

F***. Oh, there's no

need to be spiteful.

Really? Because I always prefer the

sort of hairspray-and-mousse combo.

Sh*t!

Drainpipe, StoP!

Drainpipe!

Drainpipe, dd UP!

Johnny! Johnny!

Three, two, one...

And this is the band we've

all been waiting for.

It's The Single Shots with

"Free Rock And Roll."

One, two, three, four!

Free rock and roll,

free rock and roll

Free rock and roll, oh

Free rock and roll,

free rock and roll

Free rock and roll, oh

Go for the throat, oh,

destroy the system

Smash it all up, lose control

Start a revolution in

your livin' room now

Justice! It's Johnny Jones!

F*** it.

That's my song, mate.

The Single Shots...

Stop. Hey, stop.

Stop. Stop, mates.

- I said cut to the f***ing advert!

- Stay live!

Whoa, mate.

Sorry, ladies and

gentlemen, but we've got...

There's no reason for us to

play this here. You know?

- Shut him up!

- This is... This isn't our music.

This isn't our words.

We're just miming.

Johnny Jones is the

legend behind this song.

- Shut him up!

- This is all just an image.

Because this record label

don't have imagination.

It's like a bar of soap,

just priced and packaged.

All this stuff is pretty funny, eh?

You just take it. You

don't ask any questions.

You don't care about the truth.

And that ain't punk spirit.

Shut him up!

Johnny Jones taught us

what punk spirit is.

Cut! Cut to something else!

- It's my song!

- This one's for you, Johnny.

Sat down like chewing gum

on the bottom of your feet

You're holding me down,

you're so sticky and so sweet

I don't know why you

think you're in control

You're all right, babe.

As everyone knows, if

I could just go home

Nothing goes the same

So why don't you go on

back to your hide y ho

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Go on back today

Yeah!

Treat me like a plastic

tube, whoa, oh, oh, oh

- Calm yourself down.

- This is the sound of!

The sound of tomorrow

that's calling!

Thank you. Thank you.

Hey, could happen.

What's up?

Cheers, mate.

How are they?

Yeah, yeah. All right, yeah.

Good for now. Half old, half new.

None shaggable, but that

ain't your concern. Is it?

- No.

- No.

You know, like me, you,

and your mum, all that.

Oh, no, no, no, don't worry.

Don't worry, you know.

I knew you weren't in any

position to be a dad.

Listen. If I was your dad...

If I am... If I am really your dad,

well, what I got to say is,

I couldn't be prouder of

you for what you did.

It was the most sort of irresponsible but

tremendous right thing I've ever seen.

So, you know.

Well, look.

If you ever need help

with your band, right,

I'm always there for you.

Okay?

- Yeah.

- All right.

Let's get on, then.

Hello there.

All right.

Let me introduce you to the man

who's been like a dad to me.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you Johnny Jones and

the Weapons of Happiness!

We're the Weapons of Happiness.

One, two, three, four!

Free rock and roll,

free rock and roll

Free rock and roll, oh

Free rock and roll,

free rock and roll

Free rock and roll, oh

Go for the throat, oh,

destroy the system

Smash it all up, lose control

Start a revolution in

your livin' room now

- Free rock and roll

- 'Cause you can do

- Free rock and roll

- 'Cause you want to

- Free rock and roll

- Don't be afraid to

Bite the hand that

feeds you, spit it out

Free rock and roll

Free rock and roll

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