Violet Tendencies

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Riley.

Hedda, that outfit looks amazing.

Well, they loved it at city hall!

Yes, it's always impressive when

a priest wears knock off Pucci.

What would you expect?

Vatican drag?

No, but what'd the groom think?

Why do you think they're

shipping her off to Vermont?

Exactly.

Riley!

Hey guys, this is

my other half, Riley.

We've read all about you

on Markus' blog.

Oh, how's the rash?

Yeah! Has it cleared it up yet?

Markus claims to have

writer's block

but all he does is

blog, blog, biog!

I didn't know you had

writer's block!

That's because he hasn't

blogged about it.

I'm just a little stuck

on my new novel.

Oh, what's it about?

It's about a gay couple

having a biological child.

So it's horror?

If we had kids, could you imagine

what we would be doing right now?

Carpooling?

You blogged about my rash?

Sorry, honey.

Baby.

Hey Zeus.

Do you take change?

You cheap little b*tch.

Sodomites, this is about me

for once!

First I want to thank manhunt.net

for sponsoring

my wedding reception.

Welcome!

You know, my relatives wanted me

to have a traditional ceremony.

Hello?!

You are my family!

You've been with me

through it all:

Fat, thin. A horrible addiction

to very expensive handbags.

But now I've got Michael!

Where's Michael?

Where is my man?

Give me back my man!

Oh there you are!

Many of you are thinking you're

not gonna see me again after today.

That I'm gonna disappear like

all the fag hags of your youth.

Well, you're rig ht

Finally I found a man who loves

me and my p*ssy.

I said he loves my p*ssy!

And he's gonna tear it apart

behind that picket fence!

We love you Audrey!

Oh, I love you too

You know I lasted as long as I

could with my boys.

Longer than any fag hag

ever has.

Well...

Any except Violet.

Toss the bouquet already!

The bouquet is yours Violet,

if I had one.

He's working at the

salon tonight.

But you're still together?

Of course.

Darian's perfect.

I actually think, I'm falling

in love with...

Apparently Dan's cock is so huge -

that the only way to fit it

in your mouth -

is to suck it while it's still soft.

Is that Beer Can Dan?

Yeah.

What about Darian?

Oh, Darian and Luke

have an understanding.

Uh oh, cock-block.

Deflected!

Luke may have more experience...

But his opponent is tenacious

It's battle of the bottoms.

And the biggest loser

comes out on top!

Hey beautiful!

Hey Zeus, you beast!

Look at ya.

Oh, I love it when you tease me!

So, I hear you and Luke

are joining forces.

Yes. God I love that guy.

He gave me his whole email list

he's getting sponsors

Oh, your benefit is going to be

off the hook.

New ink?

Yeah, check it out.

Ten years HIV positive,

still kicking.

You don't have to brand

yourself.

I just want everyone to know

there is life after:

Well, I'll be with you

in sickness

and in health, count on it.

I love you.

Paparazzi!

Next Magazine

No more pictures!

You'll ruin their reputation.

I implore you, no photos!

Really, no more pictures.

I gotta go!

See ya'!

Alright, we better go too.

Have a goodnight.

Hey, you too!

Dude!

What's with the skirt?

Violet?

Hey, I'm almost done.

I'm waiting behind the shrub.

Ok.

She's my roommate.

Yeah, you know man

that's a little weird actually.

Is she watching us?

She's harmless.

Fag hags, Jesus!

Hey!

More respect.

She's the last one.

Welcome to Frisky Friends

where singles unite!

You have 3 new Frisky Friends!

Salome, you sound just like

my mother.

Mather and I enjoy lung

country drives...

Message deleted.

Next message.

Hi Salome, I'm looking

for a committed,

lung term relationship with...

Message deleted. Next message.

It's mailman.

I'm dying ta get in a hut

session before we meet.

Mn Mailman.

It's Salome.

Got a delivery for me?

Another very big package.

What are you wearing?

Just two drops of

Chanel Number 5.

Still off today?

You wanna chill?

Let's go to Coney Island

and ride the Cyclone.

Yeah, let's do that.

So, how was Audrey's reception?

She was so happy.

I wish you could have been

there to see her face.

That's the one drawback to

owning my own business.

Not much free time.

I have my own business.

I think there is a little more

leeway with roving sex parties.

I'm branching out.

Can I use your salon for my

Lazy Tops and Power Bottoms

party?

My host bailed after the police

raid you know...

What?

You got hickeys again.

Oh, don't!

Who were you with last night?

Clearly an amateur:

Wait, let me get this right.

You watched two people

commit to one another;

Hooked up with some random and

then came crawling into bed with me?

I took a shower first.

Come on D!

I got cock-matized

So, why'd you come over?

Because I wanted

to sleep with you.

But you had sex

with somebody else.

It's not the same thing.

You know that.

You are as bad as I am.

Was.

We met at a glory hole.

I know where we met.

I can't do this anymore.

Wait a second...

You can't do this anymore?

Darian, we have an

understanding.

Well, I asked for a new

understanding.

If you can't give me that

I can't do this anymore.

Darian, come on.

You know that I...

You know I...

You know the impalas?

In Africa?

Did you know they have like

twenty sexual partners at a go?

And what's amazing is that not

one impala gets upset or angry

or says they can't

do it anymore.

You're right!

I'm gonna take a shower

When I'm out, I wanna find you gone,

my keys on the table

and I don't want you

coming around here anymore.

It's over!

But I love you.

Hi, do you have a minute

for future today?

Hi sir do you have a minute

for the future today?

Sorry, nope.

I'm not breeding.

Are you my mailman?

Cute socks!

Salome?

That's you.

My gay husband would kill

for those calves!

Please.

We're in public.

Oh honey its New York-

Everything happens

on the street.

So, Chinese is okay, rig ht?

I can't do it.

I once had the worse gas

off a plate of mu shu pork.

I get it, where should we go?

No, I can't do this.

I'm gonna take a pass.

You're gonna pass?

I know I lied on Frisky Friends

but I came clean

I mean, I gave you

my real stats.

Salome

I know this sounds clich but

It's not you...

It's me.

Really.

These were for you.

But I have experience.

I have walked the catwalks

in Paris, Milan,

London!

In nothing but pasties.

Here, see?

My collection is designer clothing.

They were designer pasties.

Bradleigh, please I need press,

help me!

Please.

For the passion we shared

when we were boys?

Larice, are you threatening me?

Yes.

So, you've seen the line sheet.

Bradleigh's new collection

was inspired by

the latest dinosaur discovered

down in Argentina.

Perfect! Let me know when you

want to come for the pull.

Okay.

Oh no, not again!

What is wrong with me, Riley?

Why do you keep saying that?

Nothing!

It's not you, it's him.

You are surrounded by men

who love you.

Love?

I deserve someone to love me

and my p*ssy

Like Audrey.

Do you hear me?

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