Virginia Page #6

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, they've got a gun!

Sh*t.

Dale?

- Drop your weapon.

- Hold it right there!

Drop it!

Oh, f***, I'm bleedin'!

We have a shot fired

on the boardwalk.

Shot fired at the suspect.

Max...

Dear Heavenly Father,

we come today

and ask you for a blessing...

Oh, God! No, please.

Get in the closet. Now!

Get in.

- What the hell are you doin' in my dress?

- Nothin'.

It's a misunderstandin'.

What the hell kinda misunderstandin',

Emmett?

V?

There's 100 cops swarmin' outside.

What the hell's going on? I.

- Hold on, Betty.

Emmett, give me my gun.

Emmett! Give me my gun

and go take my dress off right now!

Hello?

Hey.

Did you tell somebody

about, you know...

What? About what?

That's right, V.

Now, what the hell are you gonna do?

I don't know. Uh...

Well, Emmett just came home...

and he's locked a Mormon boy

up in the closet.

Oh, sh*t, V. You have a hostage?

Wait. Hold on. I got another call.

Who is this?

It's Virginia. Who's this?

This is Officer Lee.

I'm right outside.

Are you alone in there?

Uh...

Not really.

Who else is in there?

- Ma'am.

- Uh...

Well... for starters...

...there's a...

a Mormon boy in my closet.

Can you call me back in five minutes?

I got someone on the other line.

What the f*** did you do?

We just gotta get out back.

I know a way they won't catch us.

Oh, f***.

Em. Emmett.

We're gettin' out of here.

Virginia, send out whoever you got in there

or we're gonna have to come inl

Go close up my suitcase.

I can't get the lock to lock. Go on.

The governor has left town

and will not be attending

the local Labour Day barbecue

as planned.

Police have shut down the stage area

of the boardwalk indefinitely.

Now we're also hearing

that police have surrounded

a small home near Oceana.

Mom?

Hi. Give me your clothes, quick like.

Come on, take 'em off.

If you could, my son's here now too,

so... I was wondering if, uh...

Hey.

Those underwear.

Those are the magic blessed kind, right?

- They're not really magic.

- Bull. You give me those, too. Come on.

So I was just wonderin'...

'Cause he's here now, my boy, um...

...do you think you could say

a little prayer for him, too?

Yes, ma'am.

- Okay. Thank you.

Okay, now put this on your head.

Here's your tape.

You tape it around the neck

so it don't come off.

Put those on. That's your disguise.

- You need to put some shoes on.

- No, Emmett.

You put his clothes on.

Emmett, do as I say.

Emmett, do as I say.

Emmett, listen to me.

Come here.

You put his clothes on right now.

You stop it!

You put those Mormon clothes on!

I was just trying to get us what we need

so we can get to San Fran and...

That is not your job! That is my job!!!

You're puttin' it in my face,

just like every other f***er

out there puts it in my face!

I know I'm a sh*t-ass mom!

I know that already!

No, you're not.

Don't you make me swat you again.

You put those goddamn clothes on.

Magic underwear first.

And dear Lord,

please let each of us

come out of this in one piece.

- And let our travels be safe.

- That's it.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Amen.

Virginia,

pick up the phone.

The Sheriff wants to talk to you.

Hello?

Hello, Virginia.

Well, it's been a long time, Dick.

I've been...

meaning to call you.

Virgin... Virginia, what's going on?

Oh... this and that.

I became a real Mormon for you.

How about you?

Virginia, I need you to let

whoever you've got in there come out.

Will you do that for me?

I wanna see you, Dick.

How about you come in here

and talk with me for a little bit?

Yeah, as soon as they...

Y'know, as soon as they come out,

we'll sit down and talk for a while.

Did you miss me?

Yeah. Yes, I did.

I've been thinkin' a lot

about our future heaven babies.

I've decided they should be yellow.

Not like Shin-Lee-at-the-cleaners yellow,

real yellow,

like canaries. Okay, Virginia.

We'll talk all about it

as soon you let everyone go.

Okay.

Give me a minute.

Yeah, one minute.

Hand me my purse.

You will be careful with yourself,

won't you?

Yes.

Can I throw that away?

- I don't wanna do it like this.

- You gotta get out of here, Emmett.

We'll figure out the rest of it later, okay?

Where do we meet up?

Head out to California with your girl.

Find my sister,

go take pictures on that Golden Bridge

in San Francisco.

You can mail 'em back to Betty

and she'll find me, okay?

When are you comin'?

I'm comin' real soon.

You just let that girl of yours

take care of you a little for now, okay?

You've earned that.

I'll catch up.

- I don't want to.

- Emmett...

If anything ever happened to you,

then I just might as well be dead.

Do you hear me?

So don't be a hero.

I want you to go out there

and I want you to make a break for it

as soon as the coast is clear, okay?

Okay.

Now...

I made us some egg-salad sandwiches

for the trip.

They're in the luggage.

You can eat mine, too.

I love you, Mom.

I love you.

We're peas and carrots, you and me.

Peas and carrots.

Okay.

Now you get outta here.

Hey, let's go.

Don't do it, Dick-lick.

Cut it out.

Go ahead, 413.

We have a deceased white female.

Request coroner on the scene.

Copy that, 413. 1428.

All the police and reporters

were too busy lookin' at my mom,

the lady everybody thinks

kept the governor

from stickin' around for a barbecue.

I just started runnin'

towards Jessie's house.

I just wanted to see her one more time.

But it looks like they'll be

getting me now, too.

- Keep those cameras away.

- Yes, sir.

Willie...

Did the Mormons have it right

about me going to heaven?

I got baptized by the Catholics,

and saved by the Baptists, too,

so that's gotta count for somethin'.

I f***ed up again, Willie.

He's the only thing

I ever wanted to do right in my whole life.

I f***ed him up.

No.

You know what I think?

I'd say that...

for the next 30 minutes,

Mr. Sheriff Tipton...

is gonna look like a good lawman.

Lawman with heart.

And all those reporters

are gonna head over to his house,

where the governor

was supposed to have his barbeque,

and they're going to find his wife

high as a kite,

and she is gonna be spreadin'

those dirty pictures

all over the front lawn.

And your boy...

...he's gonna be all right.

Yes. Yes, he is.

And those two love birds

are gonna get a place together

right out there by the ocean,

right up under that Golden Bridge,

and make perfect, happy babies.

Lots of 'em.

How's that sound?

How about you...

How about you try

and get some sleep now?

Okay.

You did fine today.

Just fine.

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