Visit to a Small Planet Page #7

She wasn't in bed when

I woke up this morning.

Neither was Conrad when I woke... up...

They both must have had

early classes today.

- Good morning, Mr. Spelding.

- Good morning, my boy.

- Well, you in a good mood I see.

- Oh, never better.

Listen to this:

"The Amalgamated Television

Network today renewed"

"Roger Putnam Spelding's

contract for another 5 years."

It's your work my boy.

I want you to know

that I'm deeply grateful.

Well, don't mention it...

- Dad.

- Dad?

- Well, Mr. Spelding...

- Yes?

You see, there comes a time

in every spaceman's life,

when he finally meets

the girl of his clouds.

I've put away enough blue

dingles not only to support...

Roger, Mr. Kreton, come quickly.

This is actually the uh... point I'm

uh... trying to make Mr. Spelding uh...

You see, Mr. Spelding... oh.

Now what is it?

- The most wonderful thing has happened.

- What happened?

They married. Conrad and Ellen

are husband and wife.

- Husband and wife?

- They did elope.

- You see, dad...

- Dad!?!

Mr. Spelding, we just had to get married.

What do you mean "had to?"

We couldn't wait another minute.

Not with him around.

- So we eloped.

- Eloped you, you, you...

- Goat herder you.

- Ellen!

Daddy please!

- I don't know why you but I...

- We thought of this...

Don't get upset, Mr. Spelding,

I guess the best man won.

- Now wait a minuet.

- Excuse me dear.

I don't believe the children

have had breakfast.

- Conrad, you will stay.

- I'll be happy to.

Congratulations, old man,

I hope we can still be friends.

You mean you don't feel

"that way" by Ellen?

Oh, shes like a sister to me.

A sister, eh, Kreton?

I'll just show them how you

really feel about her.

Ellen oh, Ellen, you babe

with that crazy build.

I've been watching you

shake it around this house

and you been watching me watching

you and its driving me mad.

Wow!

Kreton, what are you saying?

I do not know, someone unzipped my mind.

Mr. Delton. Please.

We don't need words honey, not you and me.

The first time I saw you, bells rang,

the earth moved.

It was like there was nobody

else in the world.

Just you and me, and the

black burning nights,

exploiting a thousand roman candles.

I propose mister that you discontinue

this line of thought at once.

No, no, its fascinating, really.

But Ellen, I didn't mean a word of it.

- I, I meant it, but...

- What?

No I didn't mean to say it.

Actually, Ellen, I...

And your hungry eyes, begging me,

imploring me and pleading with me,

to take you in my powerful arms.

Wow.

Ellen look, actually this is whole...

Mister the woman you love

happens to be my wife.

- Conrad, please.

- Wait just easy honey. Barrier nothing...

Conrad... go ahead.

CONRAD!

Get up.

Let him have it, Kreton.

Bop him one.

There will be no bopping.

Stand still.

It's stuck, Mr. Delton,

please, it won't hit.

- Mine won't hit.

- Hit me.

- Mine does not hit.

- Conrad, now stop it.

Mine don't hit.

- What's the matter, you a coward?

- That's it, yeah.

Fight!

Daddy do something.

With pleasure.

It don't hit. Its... I'd fight if.

- Conrad, now please.

- Well he started it.

Whats going on? What happens here?

What are you all standing around for?

What are you so excited about? Whats???

What's he doing down there?

I'm hanging up the phone.

I hit him.

You... you hit him and you

aren't disintegrated?

I can't understand it. The

boy's lost his power.

Lost his power?

Then I'm save. I can do my duty.

Oh this is a day.

Haven't you time for a cup

of coffee, Bob?

No, no, not now. Keep

him cornered Conrad.

I'll get the state

police right away.

The National Guard.

The commander general

of the area.

Excuse me.

Take it easy, boy, take it easy.

We'll get you up.

We'll get you up out of there,

come on, up we go.

There... there there there.

I said if you got up I'd hit him again.

Let me at him. They don't call me

the Manassas mauler for nothing.

- Shut up.

- I didn't mean anything...

- Are you alright?

- Oh yes, I'm fine. Thank you.

Just wet. You see, where I come

from we don't feel pain.

Oh, we feel wet. You'll feel wet water...

But you don't feel pain.

That's what he thinks.

I didn't even feel

the slightest twinge of...

PAIN!

- What is it?

- Oh my arms. Mr. Delton.

You wanted to be an earthling, my boy,

so take everything that goes with it.

Oh, the leg. Just kick

the leg, there's a pain.

Oh, the back is a pain.

There's a head... there's a stomach.

Oh, the foot is a pain...

Oh! No more pain!

Myrtle/Mabel is using the phone

gotta use your...

What you...? After him.

Don't let him get away.

- He's gonna kill me.

- Well... Ah!

Come back and fight like a man.

You fight your way, I'll fight mine.

Come on, open up.

Come out and fight.

I won't come out and I won't fight.

Come on open up, you coward.

That's why I won't come out,

I'm a coward. That's it.

A spaceman, general.

S-p-a-s-e. I mean: C.

Yes state police are on their way now, sir.

Oh, good, good. I hope

you can make it, sir.

Where's a gun?

- Oh Conrad.

- There's a gun.

Conrad, deserting your post of duty.?

I need this in case he tries to break out.

Give me that, it's just

a conversation piece any...

Sure talks loud, don't it?

Oh, the police.

Excuse me, I better go make

sandwiches and coffee.

Come on, there's nothing to be afraid of.

Let's get out there. Come on.

Well, after you folks. After you.

I'll stay in back so

I can plan our strategy.

Watch it. Watch it, he's in there.

He's in there men. He's in there.

He's in there.

He's jet propelled.

No he ain't, it's Myrtle. Myrtle did it.

Myrtle you come back here.

Woa!

Alright, out of here.

Out of here. You might get hurt.

I am hurt.

All right men, grab a line get moving.

Lets go.

Loudspeaker.

All right mister, we've got you covered.

I said, we've got you covered.

- Sorry.

- Certainly.

Myrtle, hear Myrtle. Where did you go to?

Come to papa, you hear?

Give me that.

You haven't got a chance.

Come out with your hands over your head..

I said, come out with your hands

over your head.

- Sorry I took so long, dear.

- Rheba.

- Ellen?

- No thank you.

Come out with your hands over your head.

Officer, egg salad or tuna fish sandwiches?

Please, ma'am, not now.

Conrad?

We mean business, if you don't come

out we'll have to use the tear gas.

Tear gas. That's a good idea.

Pardon me.

Their he is men. Watch him.

Keep your eyes on him.

The wind must have changed.

It's backfiring.

Watch yourself.

Put the women in the cars!

Roll up the windows!

Roll them up fast!

Myrtle.

Myrtle.

Myrtle.

Myrtle.

I can still fly. I can still fl... yow.

Come down out of that barn, mister.

I am out.

I'm going in.

The general doesn't want us to rush

the place until he gets here.

He's on the way

with a Life Photographer.

You naughty spaceship, you

shouldn't go away without me.

Wait, wait, slow down. Slows

down your gonna get me s... ohh.

Oh, I'm sorry. Hello, Mr. Delton.

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