Vote for Huggett Page #3

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He'd like to meet you

and talk over one or two ideas.

- Oh, really, sir?

- Mmm.

Tell you what.

How about having a drink with us sometime?

- Why, that's very kind of you, I'm sure.

- I'm glad.

Now, let's see. What's today? Friday.

I'm playing golf with him tomorrow.

Suppose you come to the club at about 6:30?

- Suits me.

- Good. Then that's a date.

All right, sir.

Quiet, isn't it?

What's the matter?

I can't go on like this, Sue. Honest, I can't.

Oh, Peter, must we have this all over again?

It's so hot.

Oh, it's no use. I can't help it.

I've been crazy about you ever since I swapped

my tortoise for your white mouse.

Oh, Peter,

don't you realise we've got beyond that?

I know I have. I want to marry you, Susan.

Oh... Peter.

Don't say it like that.

What's wrong with being married?

Nothing. Especially if you're a tortoise.

I'm not joking, Sue. Really.

Neither am I.

But a tortoise has its own house. We haven't.

But even if we had to wait,

couldn't we be engaged or something?

Oh, I don't know.

Sue, please.

I'll have to think about it.

You'll have to give me time.

How long?

- A week.

- But that's ages.

Oh, Sue, couldn't we just...

Peter, look! We're drifting.

Quick! Get the pole. Peter! Peter, get it. Peter!

(Sighs)

Aaargh!

(Susan laughs)

- Mrs Huggett?

- That's right.

My name's Christie.

I've come on a small matter of business.

Yes, possible conveyance of titles

to certain properties - to wit, land.

To wit, land? Oh, no, not today.

Mr Huggett's out.

You'll have to come back another day.

Well, it wasn't Mr Huggett I wanted to see.

It was Mrs.

You are Mrs, aren't you?

What, me? Yes, of course I am.

Ah, well, I won't keep you a moment. May I?

Yes, come in.

Well, I'll come straight to business.

It's a question of certain holdings,

registered in your name,

which presumably might,

in certain eventualities, come on the market.

Follow me?

I'm not sure. Could you say it all again, please?

Oh, no need. I have here

the Ordnance Survey map of the district.

Here we are. Hereditament, hatched in red.

Popularly known as 28 Riverside Drive. Correct?

Oh, you mean that bit of land by the river?

- Precisely.

- Oh, why ever couldn't you say so?

All that palaver about holdings

and conveniences, and whatever...

Why? Is there anything the matter with the land?

Nothing at all. I merely wish to enquire

whether you're prepared to sell it.

Sell it? Oh, no, I couldn't do that.

I'll get you a very handsome price for it.

- How much?

- 300.

What, for this?

Well, perhaps 350, if you're lucky.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. I can't.

You see, it isn't mine to sell.

Not yours?

No, you see, it was left to me

and my cousin Edie by our grandfather,

cos we were the only two grandchildren.

- What, you mean it's a joint tenure?

- What?

The hereditament passed to you jointly

on the expiry of the deceased?

- No.

- But you just said that...

No, I just said it belonged

to me and my cousin Edie. Half each.

And you see, we promised our grandpa

that we'd keep it as a nest egg,

and not sell it

unless we was absolutely desperate.

- I see. What's your cousin's name?

- Edie Hopkins.

Edie Hopkins.

Well, I'd better see her, then, hadn't I?

You can't. She's dead, poor thing.

She had a bad stomach.

Oh, dear.

Well, that rather complicates matters, doesn't it?

Did she die intestate?

Oh, no. She had a bad stomach,

like I was telling you.

No, what I mean is,

who did she leave the land to?

Oh, to her daughter, Diana Hopkins.

Diana Hopkins.

Only, of course, she's not Hopkins any more.

- Do you mean she's changed her name?

- That's right.

She got married, you see.

Yes. Might I have her present name

and address, Mrs Huggett?

Erm... yes, of course. She married that young

Gowan who's got the garage on the Broadway.

Just before you come to the Green Man.

Erm... it's just on the corner.

I've forgotten the number.

- Don't bother, Mrs Huggett.

- But it's the third turning...

- Good afternoon. Good afternoon.

- But if you come the other way...

Thank you.

- Oh, it's your bit of tape.

- Oh, thank you.

Good heavens! Beau Brummel in person.

Is that Joe Huggett?

He only wants a mashie behind his ear,

and he'll pass for Sid Fields.

Ah, there you are, Huggett!

Nice of you to come. (Chuckles)

- How are you?

- Yes...

Come and meet my friend and partner,

Theo Wilson.

- Ah, Mr Huggett.

- Pleased to meet you.

How do you do?

- Now, what'll it be? Whisky?

- Thanks. I don't mind if I do.

Three doubles, George.

You... play golf, Mr Huggett?

Oh, no, I've got no time for games, really.

I do a bit of gardening, you know.

Ah, that accounts for your lido scheme.

You know, I'm not a sentimental man,

but when I read that letter of yours,

I was quite touched.

You weren't the only one, Theo.

Well, here's to your scheme

for a people's park and lido, Huggett.

Yes, good luck.

You know, I said to old Maurice here:

"That fellow Huggett - he's got something. "

- What was that bit I liked so much?

- Hmm?

- I said, what was the bit I liked so much?

- Oh, the bit you liked?

Er... the hey-nonny-got-wot you put in.

What was it, Huggett?

Er... "A garden is a lovesome thing, God wot. "

That's it. Jolly original.

Drink up. We'll have another.

- No, this is me. Same again, George.

- Yes, sir.

As a matter of fact, that came off

a calendar in our kitchen.

(Chuckles) Well, it doesn't matter.

It shows the stuff you're made of.

Not one, but several chaps have said to me,

"That's the sort of fella we need on the council. "

Council? Come off it!

No, seriously, old boy.

It's men like you, with no axe to grind,

that are needed in public life these days.

As a matter of fact, we happen to know

that old Hall's scheme for a community centre

is a complete racket.

You don't say?

- Shall we tell him, old boy?

- I think we must, old man.

Well, look. Our idea is this.

We want you to stand for the council

in the by-election in Riverside ward.

- Me?

- Well, why not?

The lido was your idea.

You're the man to push it through.

Don't rush him. Give him time to think it over.

Oh, no. Oh, no. I couldn't do that.

I'd feel silly.

I'll have to ask the missus first.

Ask her, by all means,

but don't let her put you off. This is important.

I've got to tell the boss, too.

- Of course. Go right ahead.

- Drink up and have another.

George, same again.

I suppose, if I let you know by next Monday,

it'll be OK?

- Sure.

- Of course. Nobody's rushing you.

But we'll all be very disappointed

if you don't say yes.

Well, here's to Huggett.

- Councillor Huggett.

- His Worship the Mayor.

Oooh, no! Oh, dear.

- What's up, Mum?

- Aren't you well?

- I'm not sure.

- What's the matter?

It's your dad.

He's going to stand for the council.

- What?

- You heard.

Joe, it's not true?

What do you mean, it's not true?

I've as much right as anyone else to stand.

- Oh, dear. I feel queer.

- Good old Dad! Vote for Huggett!

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