Waffle Street Page #5

that I slow down...

and I'm gonna take that advice.

Now, this doesn't mean

anything drastic.

It just means that sometime in the

future, I will cease to be your boss.

Jim:
No sooner had he said

it than the idea struck me,

so acute and clearly-defined I

might only describe it as destiny.

I just want you to know it's been an

absolute pleasure to be your employer.

So, get out there

and sling some waffles.

Let's do it, guys. Waffle time.

- You've done a great job for me, Matthew.

- Thank you, sir.

Excuse me, Mr. Drake.

- My name is Jim Adams.

- Hi, Jim.

Um, I just was wondering if I could

have a moment to... speak to you.

I want you to look at something

and tell me what you think.

Please tell me you're not

trying to buy a Ferrari.

It's a franchising fee and down payment

for a Papa's Chicken and Waffle.

More precisely, the location at

which I am currently employed.

Okay. Now, I wish

this was about a car.

I know it's intimidating.

$335,000?

With the state of our mortgage, I

can't imagine how we would do that.

Don't you think

this is a bit impulsive?

I understand it could come

across as ill-considered.

- Good.

- But I met the store owner today,

and it could not

have been more clear.

Don't you have to work

there a year or something?

1,000 hours.

But all corporate cares about

is a gross total,

which means I can tally

as many hours as I can take.

It's a huge risk.

I wanna be a man

that cooks his own breakfast.

Honey, I could teach you that

in an hour.

We don't need

to buy a restaurant.

It's good, clean, hard work,

and it's respectable.

It's endless hours

and a mountain of stress.

My father ran his own business.

I'm not naive to what it takes.

No, I... (sigh) I know that.

This has a lot of potential.

Yes, maybe it does, but...

we can't afford it.

We can take out a loan.

Is this really what you want?

A Papa's Waffle?

Just come in and see it, okay?

If you're not convinced,

then I won't mention it again.

You ready?

Dazzle me.

(conga music playing)

Wow. Is it always like this?

Jacqui:
Jim! Jim!

Oh, thank the almighty

you're here.

- What is this?

- A wedding.

Someone is getting married here?

Happens all the time.

I need your help.

People are passionate

about their Papa's.

Look, we've got a critical toilet

situation I need you to take care of.

What do you mean "critical"?

Child, the commode is clogged like

a watermelon in a garden hose.

I told them that double

ply paper was a bad idea.

The plunger didn't work?

Stolen. That's the situation.

Who steals a plunger?

These people are savages.

Do you want me

to go buy a new one?

Two more flushes,

and it's Niagara Falls in there.

Welcome

to the restaurant business.

Not a problem. I'll handle it.

Jimmy Jam.

I wouldn't go in there raw.

Oh! Wow!

No. No. No, no, no, no, no.

(exhaling)

It's man up time. It's man up time.

It's man up time.

(exhaling nervously)

It's time to man up, Jim.

It's time to man up.

Okay.

Okay.

All right, yeah,

that's significant.

That is significant.

(exhaling)

(shuddering in disgust)

Ugh!

(retching)

Yeah, you can't beat me.

You can't beat me.

You... can't... beat... me.

Jim:
Come on, you bastard!

(grunting)

Sounds like

he's got it under control.

(toilet flushing)

Sir, I believe you were next.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

That was unbelievably foul.

And somehow, almost sexy.

Ooh, look like somebody's gonna

be playing janitor tonight.

Well, if that's what

this place brings out of you,

I think we should buy

three of them.

I just want the one.

Yeah, that was hyperbole, honey.

Okay.

Well, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna go, uh...

bathe myself in bleach.

Good idea.

All right, you got your pen.

You got your pad.

- And you know your menu.

- Yes.

- You ready to go?

- Bring it.

All right, I don't think

I've ever seen such potential.

Hey, you give them hell,

Jimmy Boy.

This one is for you.

- (rock music playing) -Look,

you just give them a big smile

and let them love you. Come on.

We're rocking now.

(chatter)

I asked for a refill.

Shoot! I'm so sorry.

I'm on it. I'm on it.

Yeah, that's what

you said last time.

I still need syrup.

Okay, it's coming right up.

Where's my straw?

Straw, yes. You got it.

- And my hot sauce.

- Hot sauce.

Table 15 wants their check, man.

Just give me a second,

all right?

Yo, I said Webster.

This is a Wally.

- Okay, let me see what I can do.

- Yeah, get me my Webster.

Hey, scrambled up. Table seven.

Sunny side up. Table five.

Jim, can I help you

with anything?

I need a refill on 12. 13 wants a straw.

Syrup for 14. Check on 15.

Oh, and a... And a Webster

not a Wally on 12.

Jim, you just got sat

on the patio.

We have a patio?

Okay, there was a... There was

a box of them right here.

- Now, they're not here.

- Jim, baby.

- I need straws.

- Jim! Jim, look at me.

It's okay. You're in

what we call "the weeds."

- I can't find the straws.

- I know. It's okay.

Look, we're gonna

get your section under control,

and then you're gonna take over the

regulars at the high bar, okay?

Give you a chance

to take it easy for a bit.

- Sound like a plan?

- Yeah.

Okay. All right, follow me.

Look at me.

Come on. It's okay.

Excuse me.

I need a refill please.

I got you.

Man, Kathy, you're getting

your $1.25's worth today.

Like you're any better.

Sitting around here waiting

till you get a phone call

to go repo someone's car.

- (whistles)

- And ruin their life.

Yeah, been there,

done that today.

Made her cry and throw up.

That must have been really neat

to see firsthand.

No, you misunderstand.

It didn't happen

both at the same time.

First, she cried,

and then she... (laughing)

She puked all over her car.

You're right. That does

make all the difference.

Of course it does. Yeah.

Well, man, I'm in it

for the money, but hey,

it's the little perks

that make it so rewarding.

Where's my food?

Well, there's your Sprite.

Your bacon is on its way.

In the meantime,

please enjoy your grits.

This is unacceptable.

I ain't putting my bacon

in cold grits.

I am really sorry. I will bring you

out a fresh bowl with your bacon.

I hope you know I ain't paying

for this Sprite either.

You gotta be faster

if you wanna get paid.

Ma'am, I desperately want

you to enjoy your meal,

but I need to know. Do you want your

food brought out promptly or slowly?

What kind of stupid question

is that?

Well, I was too fast

with your grits,

and then the Sprite

took too long,

and you started bitching at me.

(scoffs)

- What did you call me?

- Uh-huh, waffle man.

Jim:
In 2008, financial institutions

cost Americans trillions of dollars

with little more

than a slap on the wrist.

Here, a tardy plate of bacon had

turned me into a Jackson Pollock.

Whoa! Take it easy.

He's still new.

Better watch his mouth, 'cause next

time, it's gonna be more than grits.

Hey, Jimmy.

Get over here.

You do realize

this is a business...

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