Wag the Dog Page #15

BREAN GESTURES FOR SILENCE. HE AND AMES LISTEN INTENTLY, THE HUBBUB IN THE

ADJOINING ROOM (THE SHOESTORE) HAS PASSED. IT IS SILENT. AMES AND BREAN PEEK

AROUND THE WALL OF SHOEBOXES.

ANGLE THEIR POV:

THE AIDES, IMMOBILE. FIVE VERY FIT YOUNG MEN IN SUITS STAND NEAR THE

ENTRANCE. ONE YALIE-LOOKING FELLOW IN HIS THIRTIES WALKS THROUGH THEIR MIDST,

FROM THE ENTRANCE. HE STOPS FOR A MOMENT AT A TELEVISION, WHICH IS GLARING A

COMMERCIAL FOR LAUNDRY SOAP, AND FLICKS IT OFF, ONE OF HIS FIT YOUNG MEN

INCLINES HIS HEAD TOWARD THE REAR OF THE STORE, AND MR. YOUNG WALKS TOWARD THE

REAR.

THE YALIE COMES INTO A FITTING AREA. SEVERAL OF THE SMALL BENCHES USED FOR

TRYING ON SHOES... TO AMES AND BREAN.

YALIE:

Who might be the Boss Hog in this operation?

(PAUSE)

BREAN:

Feel free to talk to me.

YALIE NODS:

YALIE:

Cheezit-the-Cops.

AMES:

(TO HIMSELF)

Ohmigod...

INT OFFICE SUITE, NIGHT.

BREAN AND AMES SITTING ON A COUCH. THE YALIE SITTING BEHIND A LARGE DESK,

WATCHING A SMALL TELEVISION ON WHICH WE SEE A REPORTER, STANDING NEXT TO

SEVERAL VERY GRIM LOOKING MEN IN PARK POLICE SMOKEY HATS. IN A FOREST, BELOW

THEM, A LINE OF TANKS FADING ALONG A RIVER.

REPORTER:

...awaiting the arrival of The President back on

American Soil. To still the fears, to answer the

questions of this troubled land. Here, along a border

once considered more Imaginary than real, I'm Mike

Stears, at latitude 45, along the Canadian Border.

ANGLE:

BREAN LOOKS DOWN AT HIS WATCH.

BREAN:

...I just missed my plane.

AMES:

You missed your plane? My life is over.

(PAUSE)

My life is over. What have you done to me? What have

I done?

(PAUSE)

Fourteen years of Public Service...

BREAN:

Well, keep your wits about you, and let's see if we

can't...

AMES:

...fourteen years...

BREAN:

...brazen-it-through...

AMES:

Brazen it through? Brazen it through? They're going

to hang us out to dry like the laundry --- do you know

what we've ddd...

THE BODYGUARD IN THE B.G. RAISES HIS FINGER TO HIS LIPS AND SHAKES HIS HEAD.

AMES:

Do you know what we've done, for Godsake? Do you know

what you've....

A BODYGUARD IN THE B.G. SPEAKS UP.

BODYGUARD:

No talking, please.

THROUGH IT ALL AMES SITS, WITH HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS.

A NEW REPORTER TAKES OVER ON TV, BEHIND HER A CHART, A GRAPH OF AN UPWARDLY

MOVING LINE.

REPORTER:

With seven days to go before the election, the Fortunes

of President...

THE DOOR OPENS, THE YALIE COMES TO ATTENTION, MR. YOUNG, A TWENTY-YEAR OLDER

VERSION OF THE YALIE, ENTERS, CARRYING A CUP OF COFFEE, NO TIE, HAIR

DISHEVELLED.

MR. YOUNG

(TO YALIE)

...took you long enough.

YALIE:

Found'em as quick as we could, sir.

MR. YOUNG

When I'm done with'em, we want to dump'em in the

District, or stick'em out in the country, have the

F.B.I. trip over'em?

THE YALIE CONSULTS HIS NOTES.

YALIE:

Legal department says You Pick Em. Depends on how big

of a splash you want to make, how long you want them to

Go Away for.

AMES:

(SOTTO)

Oh, MiGod.

BEAT, MR. YOUNG SHAKES HIS HEAD SADLY.

MR. YOUNG

Guess who I am.

AMES:

I'd like to mention a few names, who...

MR. YOUNG

(LOOKING AT NOTES HE IS HANDED BY

YALIE)

I know who you are, Mr. Ames.

AMES:

I was acting as a Private Citizen. Nothing that I've

done should be construed as reflecting on the orders or

intentions of anyone with whom you may have reason to

believe I am connected with.

(PAUSE)

Or in whose employ...

MR. YOUNG

Quite touching.

AMES:

And I take this opportunity to suggest that, equally,

I admit to nothing, and that I would like my lawyer

present.

MR. YOUNG NODS.

MR. YOUNG

Guess what? We show, and N.S.A. confirms, there are no

nuclear devices on the Canadian border.

(PAUSE)

There are no nuclear devices in Albania. Z'at put us

in something of a pickle?

(PAUSE)

Albania has no nuclear capacity. Our spy satellites

show "no secret terrorist camps" in The Albanian

Hinterland. The F.B.I. and the Border Patrol, And the

R.C.M.P. report no repeat no untoward activity along

our picturesque Canadian Border. The Albanian

Government is screaming its innocence, the world is

listening.

(PAUSE)

There is no War.

BREAN:

(GESTURES AT THE TV, WHERE WE SEE TRUDY

LAROUCHE RUNNING ACROSS THE BURNING

BRIDGE)

Course there's a war. I'm watching it on Television.

MR. YOUNG

N'who might you be, when all's said and done?

BREAN:

My name is Ronald Brean.

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