Wag the Dog Page #19

THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE

GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS

STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER

HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN.

TRANSLATOR:

God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are

a Bringer of Peace...

WE HEAR A PHONE RING.

ANGLE:

WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS

THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN.

BREAN:

Hello?

EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE,

BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE

SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR.

CAIN:

...getting the speech for the White House...?

(PAUSE)

Good. Good. Because he's....

ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE.

BREAN:

He can't respond to the Allegations.

(PAUSE)

I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ...

look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh?

Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with

Gold.

MOSS:

(TO FAD KING)

Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol?

Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my

idea....

INT LIMO DAY.

THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO

AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL

RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE

PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE."

BREAN:

(INTO PHONE)

I'll hold.

WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER.

AMES:

...this is a snappy song....

MOSS:

What'd ya think?

BREAN:

I think it's fine?

MOSS:

It's not too clean...

BREAN:

No, it's...

(ON PHONE)

I'll, yes, I'm holding, but...

(TO MOSS)

No, it's ...

HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN

TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN

INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA.

ANNOUNCER:

Have identified the bridge, and the river from that

tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ...

what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?"

ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS.

MAYRA:

Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode,

praising the river, this particular river, the

________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that....

BREAN:

(ON PHONE)

Hello --

BREAN:

(ON PHONE)

Look:
I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE

onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of

Congress. Gotta Happen Today.

MOSS:

In the Folk Music Section.

BREAN:

In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in...

ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE.

MAYRA:

Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre

of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant

days from the Election...

INT. MALL -- DAY

BREAN MOSS AND AMES.

WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO.

BREAN:

...this the Guy.

MOSS:

Oh, he's gonna be Aces.

BREAN:

Where is he now?

MOSS:

(SHRUGS)

Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma

somewhere...

BREAN:

...we get our hands on him?

MOSS:

They got him standing by.

BREAN:

What's the thing with Morse Code...

MOSS:

Oh, you're gonna love this:

INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY.

WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE,"

RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE.

BREAN:

Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so

long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss,

folks...

THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING.

MOSS:

Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the

Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and...

AMES:

All we have to do now is sell it to the President.

BREAN:

No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this

guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of

given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the...

AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT,

HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE

RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL

HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA."

BREAN:

(HOLDING IT UP)

Well, this is genius. Who did this?

MOSS:

My prop guy, had a guy out here.

BREAN:

(TO THE AIDE)

Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now.

(TO THE ASSEMBLE)

Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.?

A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND.

BREAN:

Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong

days, something about a Good Old Shoe...

AIDE:

...tonight...

BREAN:

You're with him tonight, watching the President's

Speech, when the President...

AIDE:

What if he's busy tonight?

BREAN:

Lure him.

(PAUSE)

AIDE:

What are you saying...

BREAN:

Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've

got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on

your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's

doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a

shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the

Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing

n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into

the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech

tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by

the way...

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