Wag the Dog Page #20

AIDE:

(ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED)

...on the way in.

BREAN:

When you...

(TO AIDE)

What? I'm busy.

AIDE:

It's the White House.

HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN.

BREAN:

Hello.

(PAUSE)

What?

MOSS:

What?

BREAN:

What do you mean he won't do it?

(PAUSE)

He won't do what?

(TO MOSS)

He won't do the sp...

(TO PHONE)

It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of

course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the

flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's

not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO

We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're

playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up

for...he has got to say the speech.

(PAUSE)

Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in...

(HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE

PHONE)

ANGLE:

AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE

HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS.

KID ONE:

(OF HIS MACHINE)

...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change

Horses in the Mid..."

MOSS:

(OF TV)

Can you believe this sh*t?

BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING

"COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE

WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL.

GENERAL:

Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber.

Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but

an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not

for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American

blood, would, even now...

EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY.

MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH

THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES,"

PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK

HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS."

A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN.

POLICEMAN:

(TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE)

I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you

that a man who could do what the President did -- I

respect him. But, on this issue....

EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY.

A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE.

ANGLE:

AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE

HAS SPRAYPAINTED "F*** ALBANIA."

INT WHITEHOUSE.

AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN

LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/

CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL.

MOSS:

(TO AN AIDE)

Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now,

Would you? Would you do that?

(PAUSE)

Gimme thirty secretaries...

AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS.

MOSS:

I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh?

Five... "the speech is corny"...??

(TO BREAN)

You know, this is what they used to say when I went out

to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the

Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too

Theatric..."

AMES:

He thinks it's too...

BREAN:

First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly:

MOSS:

Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got

caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save

him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I

don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs

the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam,

What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you

tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...?

HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY

SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND

WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING.

AMES:

Mr. President, this is St...

MOSS:

Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya...

MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM

THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE

PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR.

MOSS:

(TO THE SECRETARIES)

...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a

. It is a photograph of a man. His name is

William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of

unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've

just received this photograph, of Schumann in

captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of

Albanian Terrorists.

(HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP)

I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't

know how many of you know Morse Code...

ANGLE:

BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE.

AMES:

You need this Schumann fellow?

BREAN:

Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days.

(PAUSE)

...s'there a problem?

AMES:

No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in

..."Custody"...

(PAUSE)

BREAN:

How's your wife?

AMES:

Fine.

(PAUSE)

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