Wag the Dog Page #6

REPORTER:

Mr. Levy:
is the situation in Albania in any way

connected with recent Muslim Fundamentalist, anti-

American...

BEAT. MOSS LOOKS AT BREAN.

MOSS:

How close are you to this thing?

BREAN PICKS UP A CELLPHONE FROM THE TABLE, AND DIALS

BREAN:

(TO MOSS)

What do you want the kid to say?

MOSS LOOKS AT BREAN APPRAISINGLY.

MOSS:

Have him say, 'I know we're all concerned for the

President, there will he an update at 5:45.'

AS MOSS SPEAKS BREAN NODS TO AMES, SPEAKS INTO THE TELEPHONE.

AMES:

(INTO PHONE)

Have the kid say I know we're all concerned for the

President. There will he an update on his

condition at 5:
45.

THEY BOTH TURN TO WATCH THE SCREEN.

LEVY:

(ON TV)

...no information whatever on Fundamentalist...

(HE HOLDS HIS HAND TO HIS EARPHONE)

I. I just want to say I know we're all conceroed for

the President, there will be an update on his

condition at five forty-five...

MOSS LEANS OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE VOLUME ON THE TV.

BEAT.

MOSS:

Well. You bought yourself one day. Maybe two.

BREAN:

String a few together. All I need's eleven,

MOSS:

How you going to stretch it?

(HE GESTURES AT THE TV)

This won't hold for eleven days. Guy f***ed a twelve-

year-old...whadday're gonna do to hold that off?

BREAN:

What do you think would hold it off?

MOSS:

Uh, nothing, oh, nothing ... uh... a War, uh...

(HE PAUSES, THEN LOOKS AT BREAN WITH

COMPREHENSION.)

You're kidding.

BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD NO.

MOSS:

I'm a Jew in Show Business. Why come to me?

BREAN:

I'm gonna tell you why...

BREAN LEANS CONSPIRATORIALLY, OVER TOWARD MOSS.

BREAN:

Here's the Short Course: Fifty-Four, Forty or Fight.

What does that mean?

MOSS:

Uh, it's a slogan. From, uh...

BREAN:

Remember the Maine...

MOSS:

That's from the ... it's got to be from the...

BREAN:

Tippecanoe and Tyler, Too!

MOSS:

...uh ... No, that's...

BREAN:

We remember the slogans, we can't even remember the

f***ing wars. Y'know why. Cause it's show business.

That's why I'm here. Naked girl, covered in Napalm.

Five marines Raising the Flag, Mount Suribachi.

Churchill, V for Victory, Y'remember the Picture, fifty

years from now, they'll have forgotten the war. Gulf

War? Smart Bomb, falling through the roof. 2500

missions a day, 100 days, One Shot of One Bomb. The

American people bought that war. M'I getting through

to you? War in the Balkans, don't mean nothing, till

some G.I. flyer, went down, Eating Snakes for Ten days.

N'then It's show business, Mister Moss. That's why

I'm here.

ANGLE:

AT THE POOL DESK. THE ATTENDANTS AND THE GUESTS ARE WATCHING THE TELEVISION.

ON WHICH WE SEE COMIONTATOR TALKING ABOUT A MAP OF ALBANIA.

THE SCENE SHIFTS TO THE SHOTS OF THE PRESIDENT BEING PRESIENTIAL, AND WE

HEAR, "THANK HEAVEN, FOR LITTLE GIRLS..."

AMES WINCES, WE SEE THE POOL ATTENDANTS LAUGH.

BREAN:

It's like being a producer, Mr. Moss. The Things in

Trouble. Somebody's got to wade in, save the thing.

(PAUSE)

You get the Actors get up there, and strut and

Posture. But somebody, knows what's what, got to jump

in and Save the Thing.

(PAUSE)

THEY LISTEN TO THANK HEAVEN, FOR LITTLE GIRLS, AND THEY LOOK AT MOSS.

PAUSE:

MOSS:

Why Albania?

BREAN:

Why not?

MOSS NODS DECISIVELY. AS IF TO SAY, "BY GOLLY, NOW YOU'RE TALKING..."

MOSS:

Pat? Pat?

ONE OF THE ATTENDANTS RAISES HIS HEAD FROM THE TV AND SPRINTS OVER TO THE

CABANA, WHERE WE SEE MOSS AND BREAN DEEP IN CONFAB. MOSS GESTURES TO THE

TRAY WITH THE JUICE AND THE CELERY.

MOSS:

...throw this sh*t out. Gemme a pot of coffee and a

packet of Camels.

INT MOSS'S HOME, AFTERNOON.

A GREENE AND GREENE BUNGALOW IN THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS, AMERICAN ART POTTERY

ALL AROUND. MOSS IN BLUEJEANS AND A HAWAIIAN HAT, PACING BACK AND FORTH,

SMOKING LIKE A CHIMNEY.

MOSS:

But at some point they gotta know.

BREAN:

Who?

MOSS:

The...

(HE GESTURES OUT OF HIS WINDOW,

MEANING, "THE PUBLIC")

BREAN:

"They Got To Know?" Stan...? Get with it. Who Killed

Kennedy...? I read the first draft of the Warren

Report, said he was killed by a Drunk Driver. You

watched the Gulf War. What did you see? Day after

day, the one "Smart Bomb" falling into a building.

The truth, I was in the building when they shot that

shot, they shot it in a studio, Falls Church Virginia,

1/10th scale model of a building.

MOSS:

Is that true?

BREAN:

How the f*** do we know. You take my point?

MOSS:

(SHAKING HIS HEAD)

...going to War...

BREAN:

It's not "war." It is a Pageant. It's a Pageant...

Like the Oscars... why we came to you...

MOSS:

I never won an Oscar.

BREAN:

N'it's a crying shame. But you staged the Oscars...

MOSS:

Yes. Indeed I did.

(PAUSE)

HE LOOKS OVER AT HIS WALL FULL OF PLAQUES AND TROPHIES.

MOSS:

(CONT.)

You know, you're a writer, that's your script. You're

a director...

(HE GESTURES, ET CETERA.)

But if you're the producer ... what did you do?

(PAUSE)

What did you do? All you've got is the credit...

(PAUSE)

Some plaque on the wall...

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote