Walking and Talking Page #4

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- we just can't walk

in for one second.

- Forget it. Forget it.

- Andrew, wait.

- No. I put my arm around you

because I felt like it!

Not to make some... some putz

who doesn't even have

the nerve to call you jealous!

Good-bye.

[Blowing Bubbles]

Come on.

- Hi. How we doin'?

- [Frank] Good.

Um, Ellen, I'm gonna have

the, uh, Caesar salad, and...

- Laura, what are you gonna have?

- I'll just have a slice of lemon

for my soda. Thanks.

- Sure.

- Why do you have to

do that all the time?

It's like you're... It's

like you're somebody out

of a TV show or something.

- What?

- Be so chummy with the waitress.

- I don't know. It's gross.

- I wasn't so chummy

with the waitress.

I called her by her name.

I call you by your name.

Do you think that's gross?

It's not the same thing.

You want everybody to like you.

You think I give a sh*t

if Ellen likes me?

- Yeah, I do.

- Why do you have to be

so controlling?

I mean, are you trying to control

the way I talk now?

- You think I'm controlling?

- [Scoffs]

[Blowing Bubbles]

[Urinating]

[Sighs]

God, I hate fighting.

We weren't really fighting.

[Phone Rings]

Okay, but I hate

whatever it was we were doing.

[Toilet Flushing]

[Answering Machine

Beeps]

- Listen to what I'm listening to.

- [Slow Love Song]

Music to slit

your wrists by.

[Sighs]

He still hasn't called me.

- [Continues]

- You think I intimidated

him or something?

Think he's too insecure

to call?

- Why do I still think of you

- Okay. Bye.

- Mmm.

- Hon. [Laughs]

- Mm-hmm.

- I thought you were gonna, uh,

do some of your jewelry

designs when we got home.

I was, but I'd rather do this.

Uh... Do you think maybe

we could change the order

of things once in a while?

I mean, it's just like, you know,

every time we have sex, we kiss.

A-And then you touch my tits

and then you... you kiss them.

And... And then I touch your dick

and then you touch me.

And, um, you know,

either one of us goes

down on the other one.

And then we f***. You know,

it's not... I-It's not like

I don't like it or something.

It's just... You know.

Gets a little predictable.

You know? D-Do you

know what I mean?

You never used to screen

your calls.

You were probably

having routine sex.

[Continues]

Well, I didn't mean

for us to go to sleep.

Good night.

How do you know

What I feel

[Disguised Voice]

Hel... Hello?

Yes. Do you... Do you carry all

of Stanley Kubrick's films?

You do. And, uh, what time

do you close, please?

Thank you.

[Groans]

- Who's this?

- Ah, it's just my parents

92 years ago.

[Pop]

I wonder if I'll ever know

what it's like to not

break up with someone.

[Phone Rings]

Who's this?

[Chuckles]

Hello?

Hi! How are you?

- It's long distance.

- Oh.

Uh...

Nothin'.

[Laughs]

Just sittin' here.

You?

Yeah.

Look, I... I've got a friend over

right now, so I can't...

Hello? Hello?

That's weird.

- Was that her?

- Yeah.

Was she...

- Then? Was she...

- [Laughs]

No, she wasn't.

Thank God.

[Laughs]

Andrew?

Can I ask you something?

Mm-hmm.

Okay. I know...

you and I never

really talked about it...

I mean, not really.

But... what went wrong

with us?

I mean, did I do something

horrendous to, like, turn you off?

No. I...

[Exhales]

Why are you doing this?

Is this because of

the video store guy?

Come on. I can take it.

What was it?

Amelia, this is not

what you need right now.

How do you know

what I need right now?

- Because I'm your friend, that's how.

- Then answer me.

Y... You made me

too important.

But you were important

to me. I mean...

But too important, you know?

Like...

Like I was everything.

You weren't everything,

Andrew.

I know. But you had this way

of making me feel like that.

Great.

That's great.

You know, I'm gonna leave,

'cause I don't even...

I don't even know...

I don't even know how to do this!

- So I'm gonna go, okay? Bye.

- Amelia, wait.

- No.

- It's not like that. Just...

- Would you wait?

- Now you can call back Virginia.

Saved by

The interstate

New York

Is 3,000 miles away

And I'm not looking forward

to following through

But it's better than always

running back into you

I've closed my eyes

and my bank account

Bill! Bill, wait.

Take off

I don't believe this.

Well, I mean, what's wrong

with having an expectation?

I f***ed the guy!

He should call me.

Right? There's nothing

wrong with that rule.

And now I can't even rent

any f***ing videotapes,

which is all I liked to do

in the first place.

And Laura and Frank make me

sick! It's like they're

glued to each other!

I mean, they eat the same things.

Then they'll go on diets together.

I mean, I think they're

beginning to look alike. Like...

Like people and their dogs.

And I have only one

f***ing session left with you!

Amelia,

you seem angry at me.

Look. If you and I went out,

we had a nice time,

we made love for hours,

and then you didn't call me,

it would be strange, right?

Interesting example you used.

You and I.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyway, you've been married

since you were like... 19.

You have no idea

what it's like out there.

Amelia. I hate to say this.

But I think you're

in some sort of denial.

The kindest thing you could do

is to put this guy to sleep.

- What are you resisting?

- "What am I resisting."

I guess I'm resisting the execution

of our cat. Is that so weird?

And listen, don't talk to me

like I'm one of your patients.

I'm your best friend.

That's your best friend?

- Sh*t, I forgot to make

my hair appointment.

- What, for your wedding?

- I'm gonna do your hair.

- No, I want someone

sort of special to do it.

I mean... I'm sorry.

I want somebody, you know,

to do something with this hair.

You know

how much I hate it.

So listen, are we

still planning to go to

Pennsylvania this weekend?

I think you guys should

come up, you know,

at least once before

the wedding, just to plan stuff.

- Yeah. Definitely.

- Okay. I'll talk to you later, then.

- Hi, Bill.

- Hi. How you doin'?

Um, fine.

Um, I was wondering...

do you have...

uh, Jaws in stock?

Yeah, I think so.

Haven't seen you around.

Where you been? You

haven't rented lately.

I've been... busy.

Yeah, we have Jaws

in stock. I'll go get it.

Here you go.

Uh, phone number?

555-6972.

Mmm.

Thanks.

See ya.

"Rented lately"?

Are you crazy? I had sex

with you two weeks ago,

and now you're asking me

why I haven't rented lately?

I don't know. I... I...

I didn't know what to say.

How about... How about,

"Why haven't you called me?"

How about that?

I was busy, okay?

Fine.

- Amelia, wait.

- Forget it.

No, wait. We'll finish this.

All right? 'Cause it's

not what you think.

Oh, no, it's never what I think.

I mean, that's what gets me

into these messes. Okay, what?

What is it? What is it?

I'm listening. What's the reason?

I know you... I know

you think I'm ugly.

- What?

- I know you referred to me

as "the ugly guy."

And I don't...

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