Walking and Talking Page #5

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I don't need friends

who talk about me that way.

Okay? That's

why I didn't call you.

- I never... I don't know

why you think that.

- You got a message...

on your machine

when you were in the bathroom.

Some girl

was talkin' about me.

That's how I know.

- What message?

- I don't know. I erased it.

Can I go now?

Do you forgive me?

Laura. Are you there?

It's me. Pick up.

Look, I really need to talk

to you. Did you leave

a message on my machine...

about Bill being ugly?

Laura! Sh*t.

[Door Closes]

[Peter]

God, she could've given me

a hug or something.

- What're you talking about?

She's not your girl.

- So?

- She hurt me very, very bad.

- Badly.

Whatever, man!

You're so insensitive.

I'm sick of all your crap.

You're no friend to me.

You're an enemy.

Leave!

Begone!

This guy directing the play

is such an idiot.

He's a total putz.

He's really just a spoiled actor

who thinks he can direct.

And someone gave him the money.

I swear I don't know who.

And voila! He's

directing a play.

I said I'd do it,

just 'cause I need to work.

- Right?

- Right.

But what I really

want to do is write

and direct my own stuff.

- I'm sorry. I'm boring you.

- No. No!

I thought the play was good.

This is interesting to me.

I don't... I don't normally

hear this kind of stuff.

- Where are you from?

- New York.

What do you do

in your spare time?

I... Stuff.

- You got brothers or sisters?

- Why are you interviewing me?

'Cause I haven't shut up,

and I feel bad.

Oh, no. Don't. Oh.

- You put clear nail polish

on. That looks pretty.

- They... Th-Thank you.

- Peter. Unbelievable!

- Hey!

- You were so great!

- Peter, I gotta go. Bye.

- Stay! You sure you can't stay?

- Thanks. No. Yeah.

- Hi, Frank.

- Hi.

Is she here? I... I know

you guys screen your calls,

but I... I thought I would try...

She's not here. I thought

she was with you, and then...

I... I heard your message.

- Okay. Well, will you

tell her I came by?

- Yeah, I...

Are you okay?

You... Do you want to come in

and... and talk or something?

- I don't want to bug you.

- You're not buggin' me.

I... I'm just tryin'

to fold my laundry. Come on in.

Wow. What are these?

Ah, just some stuff

I've been workin' on.

They're beautiful.

- Are you stoned?

- Yeah. You want some?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's pretty strong.

[Laughs]

I know you think

I'm some kind of hack or something.

No, I don't. I just...

I've never... I've never

seen your stuff before.

I mean that... that you liked.

You know?

Yeah, well, I've been

trying to work on it more lately.

But, uh, I don't know

what to do. I...

I just started

getting back into it.

And they offered me

this new line at work,

designing a series of...

men's leisure rings.

[Laughs]

Yuck.

- What are those?

- Exactly.

Oh, man.

Now, that is just the...

teeniest, tiniest,

most adorable thing

I have ever seen.

She wears an eight.

[Giggles]

- What are you doing?

- What?

- You smelled your armpit.

- It comforts me.

- What?

- Try it. Hi.

- Stop! Hi, Ma.

- Andrew.

- Darling, am I late?

- Ma, this is Amelia.

- Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.

- Yes, hello, Amelia.

How do I look, Andrew?

I... I tried to pull myself together.

- You look good.

- I have an interview across town.

- What interview?

- I'm gonna take a job.

Part-time, maybe,

if I can get day care.

- Hey, Danny.

- Hi, Andrew!

- Look who's here.

- Hey, pretty girl!

- Have you missed your uncle?

- Danny, this is Amelia.

You don't know her.

- I don't know her?

- No.

- You're gonna tell me

I don't know this girl?

- You know me.

And, Danny, Andrew's

gonna take you for that

haircut we talked about.

- Okay. I'm ready.

- All right.

You know what I

just thought of?

It'll be a great idea

for the birthday party.

We should have cold cuts.

Corned beef.

It's been forever

since I've had juicy corned beef.

That sounds delicious.

That's a good idea.

You know, when Andrew was

a little boy, he used to hate to

get his hair cut. Didn't you?

But do you remember

what we did after your haircut?

I'd take you to the dump.

It was your favorite place to go.

We'd climb on top

of this huge mountain of stuff.

There were seagulls

flying all around. It stank!

But once we found a bicycle

there. Remember that?

- You know what I just thought of?

- [Amelia] What?

I think cold cuts

at the party would be great.

It's been ages since I've

had a juicy corned beef.

Sounds delicious.

It's a good idea.

- [Machine Beeps]

- I don't know what I'm doing

in this line.

I have like $32

in my account.

I thought you were gonna move

paintings for that rich guy.

I am.

That's next week.

What do you think? Could I

borrow a couple of bucks just

to get me through some bills?

- Sure. How much?

- Mmm. Couple hundred.

You know, your dad is

not as bad as I pictured.

No, he's great.

It's my mom who's pathetic.

Why? She

seemed nice.

You met her for five minutes

and you think you know her

better than I do?

F*** you.

- F*** you.

- You were rude.

It's none of your business.

You asked me

to come with you.

Thanks.

- I can pay you next week.

- Good. I'll need it.

Where you goin'?

I'm goin' home.

Where you goin'?

I was, uh... I was gonna go

to the phone company, pay my bill.

Okay. So I'll

see you later.

Wait a minute!

You're gonna pay your

phone bill with the money

I just gave you?

Yeah.

Are you crazy?

Give me back my money.

- Why? You lent it to me.

- Give it back to me, Andrew.

You are so low! You think

I'm gonna pay for you to have

phone sex with that girl?

- They're gonna cut off

my service if I don't...

- Give it back.

Give it back!

[Soft Love Song]

I can't believe that

you would say that on my machine.

- [Continues]

- What were you thinking?

Well, you didn't

even like the guy,

so I... I guess I was

thinking that he wouldn't

be in your apartment.

I do like him.

And now he doesn't

want to see me again.

I'm sorry I hurt his feelings.

I really am. I...

I mean, it didn't

really seem like he was

right for you anyway.

[Snickers]

Oh, well, now he isn't.

I'm sorry.

Do we really have to

listen to this vagina music

all the way there?

- Yes!

- Yes!

- This is amazing!

It's so beautiful.

- It's so beautiful.

This is where I thought

you could do it, maybe.

Yes. Definitely. This is perfect.

I love these two trees.

- Isn't it beautiful?

Yeah.

- It's beautiful!

No. I think it has to be

over here, you know.

I mean, if it's over here,

everyone's gonna have a much

better view, right?

Looking out onto the lake?

Yeah.

After the ceremony they're gonna

feel like havin' a drink,

and we can set the drinks up

right over there.

Oh, and the path.

They're gonna have a direct

path right to the tent.

And while they'll be in the tent

they can eat, drink, mingle.

Whatever. Go home.

Well, if they feel like

goin' home, then...

they'll be

right by their cars.

- [Chuckles]

- And what will they be feeling

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