Walter Page #5

This is crazy!

Walter, it's okay, honey.

No, no, no...

Okay, look, take a deep breath

and come sit down

for a moment, okay?

She is a nurse, listen to her!

Okay, Darren...

I should go.

I loved him!

If that matters.

So did I.

And it doesn't.

Hey!

Told you it was a bad idea.

Why didn't you say anything?

Look, man, I had my own sh*t

to figure out here.

How was I supposed

to know about...

Wait, you knew about Jim

and Allie this whole time?

Look, I think maybe we should,

uhh, calm down a bit, before...

Answer the question.

Of course I f***in' knew.

You gonna try

and tell me you didn't?

What?

I mean, really.

How long do we keep doing this?

I didn't even know

that she existed

until you brought me

over here yourself.

We both know nothing happened

that you didn't already know.

No, no, no. Everything made

sense until you showed up.

Everything made sense

until you started

thinkin' about sh*t.

No, no-no, no-no.

Don't, don't.

Don't!

Hey, man, why am I still here?

Leave me alone!

If you wanted me

to leave you alone,

you would have done your job!

But maybe,

it's not really

your job, after all.

How do you know?

Come on.

Really? We're doing that?

Alright.

Leave me alone!

Okay.

You know, I did a

little cross-country

in high school.

Plus I'm dead!

So I don't have to,

you know, breathe!

You might wanna re-think the

"outrunning me" plan!

Leave me alone!

That worked out well for ya.

Get outta here.

You know, I forgave her.

Allie.

A long time ago, actually.

That's the funny thing

about bein' dead:

You don't really dwell on the

things that you'd expect to.

See, the only thing that

really sticks with you,

haunts you even,

is the overwhelming feeling

that you were alive,

you f***ing existed,

and you wasted it.

Ten years is

a long time to waste.

You ready?

You tell me.

Walt?

Mom.

I heard...

I sent Jim to Hell.

What?

I sent Jim to Hell

right after he died,

and there's nothing

I can do about it now.

Are you feeling okay?

Would you like me

to make you some eggs?

I'm not hungry.

Maybe I should make up a batch,

just in case your body is so

calorie-deprived you're...

starting to feed on your organs.

I'm not hungry, Mom.

Now see, that's the thing

about the more advanced

stages of starvation...

I'm not f***ing hungry!

I sent him to Hell.

Don't you want to know why?

You're not making any sense.

We never talk about it,

but you knew, didn't you?

I think you need some sleep...

He broke your heart.

That's what you need.

Walt... He broke your heart,

and I sent him to Hell for it.

Walt... You used to be different.

You used to be happy.

You weren't always like...

Like what?

Like this!

Your father was a good man!

And her husband...

that woman had a husband,

in case you didn't know that,

her husband found out,

and he killed himself, Walt...

because Jim and Allie cared

more about themselves

than they ever did

about anybody else!

Your father made a mistake!

Now, you can't

blame him for that!

Jim wasn't my father.

Will you stop it?

You stop it, right now!

He wasn't perfect!

But he loved us, and you.

He loved you more than anything!

More than Allie?

That's enough!

Do you wanna know what

broke my heart, Walt?

Really?

Because it wasn't just him

messing around with some nurse,

right after he found out

he was dying.

Yeah, that hurt.

And I let him know.

But it couldn't erase

a lifetime with him.

Not even close!

And it wasn't even him dying.

I had the strength to get us

through losing him.

And you're right,

I was different then.

I was strong, Walt!

I was strong enough

to watch him die!

But it wasn't losing him

that broke me!

It was losing you

that killed me.

Now there's eggs on the wall,

and on the floor,

if you're hungry.

Hell, hell.

Hell.

Hell.

Hell, hell, hell. Hell.

Theatre 6 down the hall

to your right. Hell.

Theatre 1, down the hall

to your left.

Hell.

Theatre 6, hell.

Hell. Hell.

You're all going to hell!

- What?

- All of you.

Okay.

You look like sh*t.

Forgive me for stating the

obvious, but it's so obvious

I felt personally and

professionally obligated

to say something about it.

When's the last time you slept?

I don't know.

Ate?

Eggs.

I think I had eggs.

When?

I don't... I don't remember.

Well, I won't ask about bathing,

'cause I think I know

the answer to that one.

How's Greg?

You know, your ghost friend.

I thought you didn't

wanna talk about Greg.

I don't, but you do, right?

Not anymore.

Well, that's why

we're here, right?

Your ghost problem?

I'm not crazy.

Are you sure?

I don't...

I don't know. I... I...

You're just supposed to...

What am I supposed to do?

Just stop. Just stop.

What am I doing, Walter?

You know!

You know! You...

you always know what you...

God, you know exactly what...

I can't... I can't.

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know.

I had control.

You can sit there,

and you can... and you can

tell me what's real,

and what's crazy,

and what's total bullshit

and you can say that

I'm just some kid who doesn't

know how to function properly

in the world, you can say all

that. Okay? Fine. Fine.

But I had control.

I woke up every day

and I went outside,

and I did something.

I did something. I never...

I never took a personal day,

I never called in sick,

I never made excuses

for why life is unfair, I...

I... figured out my place.

I see so many people

that are just...

they're just wasting

so much time,

doing nothing.

And that's crazy.

That's crazy.

They're...

Things can happen. Things can

happen. They can be bad.

They can be worse than bad.

They... they...

they can destroy you

if you let them.

If you even acknowledge them,

they can destroy you,

so I took control

and I made rules,

and I followed them

without question,

and I... and I...

I thought... I just thought...

I thought that if I did that,

then nothing...

could tear me apart,

the way... the way that

cancer did with Jim,

that life did with my mom.

Sounds crazy?

Does this sound crazy?

I know this... I know.

I know it sounds crazy,

I know it sounds crazy, I...

I probably am crazy.

I just...

I just need you to help me.

I just need you to help me.

That's what I...

I just need...

I just need you to help me.

I need help.

I'm sorry.

You know how something

really funny

just pops into your head

at like the worst times?

And the more you try

not to laugh,

the funnier... here I was,

sitting here,

hoping for something

really good,

some legit case-study

crazy sh*t.

And instead...

...and this is the funny part,

the joke I can't help

but laughing at...

you're not crazy.

What do you mean?

You're fine.

This is okay.

You're not crazy.

You are not crazy.

You just forgot to grieve.

Time's up.

Hey, Walter...

I don't mean to put you

on the spot or anything,

but am I still going to hell?

I don't know.

I'll see you next week.

Mom?

Mom?

How'd you sleep?

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