Wanderlust

It's where we want to be.

It's where you want to be,

it's where I want to be...

Honey, that's all I've been saying.

I've been saying that.

I mean, this is New York City.

It's the greatest city on Earth,

and we get to own a part of it.

Or we keep renting.

George, please. It's time

for us to own something.

We're not kids anymore.

It's true. Pros and cons,

one more time. Okay.

Go ahead. Talk it over

again. Okay, good.

Pros. Great neighborhood.

It's a great neighborhood.

A block from Joe's Coffee.

I love that coffee.

It's his favorite coffee.

Best coffee in the city.

Shade-grown, fair trade.

So, that's a pro. Coffee.

Con, money.

You said that we could do this.

I'll feel better once

I get my bonus.

HBO may make an offer

on my documentary.

Well...

Are we done with the pros and cons?

Another con would be space.

You know, it's a studio apartment.

No, it's a microloft.

It's a microloft.

It's written in here that it's a

microloft. We're adults here.

Let's call it what it is.

It's a studio apartment.

It says it somewhere.

I've never even heard

of a microloft.

Does your husband do this?

My husband is blind.

I'm sorry.

No, there's no need to be sorry.

Pierre has been blind since birth.

Good. I mean, not "good,"

but, you know...

Don't worry, it's the only

reality he knows.

But, believe me, he can still

smell the Chanel on my neck.

He can still taste the

pain au chocolat

I bake for him from time to time.

He can still hear every stroke as

I brush my hair before

we lie down at night.

And as for touch?

I can get him there with

one flick of the finger.

Okay, I know you're nervous,

but believe me

this neighborhood is a terrific

investment, even in a recession.

It's the West Village.

It's the best. Yeah.

Really the best.

This is where you want to be?

This is where we need to be.

Let's do it!

I'm so sorry. I bet this

happens all the time.

No.

Here we go. Wait.

Wow! Look at all this space!

Just right up against this...

I got a really big day tomorrow,

and you've got HBO.

I wouldn't mind taking

a sleeping pill.

Oh, no! I can't take Rick right now.

I cannot take your brother.

I'll just... No Rick.

Come on, two minutes. Let's

just get it over with.

It's never two minutes.

Hey, Rick. Ricky licky,

suck my dicky.

Don't hate me 'cause

it's extra thicky.

All right, enough gabbing.

Give me the grand tour.

All right.

That's the kitchen. Small.

That's the bathroom. Small.

That's the bedroom. Small.

That's the tour.

Holy sh*t! Our TV room is twice

the size of your whole place.

Yeah, but you live in Atlanta.

Hi, George. Hey, Linda.

It is alive.

Hi, Marisa. Hi, Marisa.

Hi! You look great!

Thanks. I read this article that

said if you smile all the time,

you can trick your brain into

thinking that you're happy.

Really? Wow.

All right, enough girl gab. I want

to show you the new baby.

New baby?

We adopted a black baby.

There she is.

All the bells and whistles, 48

large. And check this out.

If some Jackamo tries

to steal my car,

I got a remote tracker on there.

Tells me where he is,

down to 10 yards.

I go down there, f***ing police

escort, nab the motherf***er.

It's like, "See you in three

to five, ass wipe. You

f***ing towel head. "

So, you think a Sheik is

going to steal your car?

Hey, don't laugh, this is Atlanta.

We got CNN down here.

I think our connection is

bad. You're breaking up.

I can see you closing the

computer, dipshit.

I got to say, that Marisa,

one lucky lady

because she gets to be

married to him. Yeah.

Know what I want to do? I'm going

to take off that robe and...

It's okay.

Sorry. You're so tired. I know.

What say we break this place

in the old-fashioned way?

Don't fall asleep. Okay.

We can do this. I'm not

going to fall asleep.

Are you ready for your meeting?

Yep. Don't forget to smile.

All right? Your movie is a little bit

heavy, so keep the room light.

Do you not think I'm

a good filmmaker?

That's not what I said.

I think you're great.

I think you're a great children's

book illustrator,

a terrific jewelry designer.

I loved the homemade

ice cream business.

I am familiar with my eclectic

resume, thank you very much.

But, honey, with this film, you

know it, I found my niche.

I can fly. I believe I can fly.

Come on, say it.

Fine, I believe you can fly.

Get off your f***ing phone!

Knock them dead. I'll call

you later. Good luck.

The world is becoming

a terrible place.

Antarctica is home to some of the

world's most beautiful wildlife,

most of whom are dead or dying.

This cute little guy has

testicular cancer.

This little girl's home melted

and her parents sank.

In our hunger for resources,

we are raping these animals.

We are raping them... Stop.

...and then we are murdering them.

Stop. Stop.

It's actually not finished.

I'm getting a very interesting sense

of what you're going for here.

Thank you! There's no way in hell.

We're going to have to pass.

Mmm-hmm.

"Pass"? Yes, "pass. "

But it's An Inconvenient Truth

meets March of the Penguins!

Meets "I want to slit my wrists,

"because this is the most depressing

thing I've ever seen. "

I don't understand.

I think what Marcy

is saying, Linda,

and please correct me

if I'm wrong, Marcy,

I don't want to be off base here.

But what she's saying is that

she wants to slit her wrists

because this piece is depressing.

I got that. Yes.

I see that you're pregnant.

Thank you for noticing. What tipped

you off, my giant belly?

Or can you see my hemorrhoids

and my second thoughts from

where you're standing?

Don't you want your

child to grow up

in a world where there

are penguins?

To be perfectly frank,

f*** the penguins.

I don't think that what Marcy is

saying is to f*** the penguins.

No, it is what I'm saying.

F*** the penguins.

And I love penguins. Uh-huh.

But I have to agree with

Marcy. F*** them.

Java chip sounds like it's

going to be a winner.

How's the new place, man?

Oh, terrific. Super small

and really expensive.

Oh, my God, that does sound good.

Super small and really

expensive? Yeah.

Sometimes you can only get one of

those, but you got both of those.

Yeah, it's a deal. That's great.

How did that happen?

I know.

Reason number 25 I'm not married.

Like I need someone telling me

to buy sh*t I can't afford.

It's all about the Benjamins,

my friend. The Benjamins.

Yeah.

I'll be one of those

guys who's just

old and ugly, rich, has a hot wife.

Like...

Gollum. Not Gollum.

Georgie!

Come see me for a little chat

when you get upstairs.

All right! You got the

point and the wink.

Boss man likes you.

It just doesn't fit the HBO brand.

We do violence and heartache,

but it's sexy.

Mmm-hmm. Do you understand?

Of course. What was I thinking?

You know what we could do?

We could throw some vampires in there

to have sex with the penguins.

And then you could have brooding,

sexy little vampire penguins.

Would that work for your brand?

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