Wanderlust Page #2

What if the polar bears were

hookers, and on meth?

And then they show their tits for

no reason. How would that work?

I think you're joking,

but if you could do that, that would

be very interesting for us.

Yeah, very interesting.

And if I do get the promotion,

then what?

I have to work more hours

at the job I hate.

Wow, you're really bumming me out,

man. I hate this job, too.

Wait, what's going on?

Feds got in at 5:00 this morning.

Seized everything.

Georgie! Man with the plan.

I am going to take a little rain

check on our chit-chat.

Company shutdown effective

immediately.

Did I just get wink-point

shitcanned?

What are you doing here?

How did HBO go?

Well, they're passing on this one,

but they are definitely interested

in not seeing my other projects,

so it turns out I can't fly.

Why are you not at work, George?

Oh! I got fired.

You want to sell?

Well, my work situation

has changed a little.

Look, I'm going to be completely

honest with you guys.

The market has dropped.

We just bought it.

You said it was a good investment.

I think you said that.

You said that!

In any case, it doesn't

matter who said it.

Nobody's buying studio

apartments right now.

It's a microloft.

Okay, let's just grow up and

call things what they are.

It's a studio apartment.

I knew it!

Even if you could sell it,

it would be at a loss.

You're not seeing that money again.

As soon as we can get

back on our feet,

we'll talk about coming

back to New York.

Right now my brother

has offered me a job

and Atlanta's the best

place for us to be.

They call it "Hot-lanta!"

Isn't that funny?

You're so obsessed with your Joe's

Coffee. It had to be Joe's Coffee.

It's great f***ing coffee!

We are f***ed, we are f***ed!

We're f***ed! George, stop!

That's how much you made

last year, $800.

You know what? I think you

like that I don't work.

How could you let this

happen to us?

Eight hundred dollars!

I didn't mean it. I was upset.

Yes, I meant it! I

told you, you did!

Oh!

You were the one that

said, "Let's look

"in the West Village to

buy an apartment. "

I'm turning on the music!

Don't turn on that music.

Cock.

I can't be in this car

anymore! Jesus Christ!

I just can't. We've got

to stop somewhere.

Fine. Okay.

I'm just really tired, okay?

I said "fine," all right?

Just quit selling me

after I said yes.

Elysium Bed and Breakfast,

Oh, my God, it's just a shack

and it's closed. I'm going

to scream, George.

It's a fruit stand.

Hold on, what's down that road?

"Elysium. Dreams dispensed daily.

Bring your own container. "

I just hope they have a bed.

If they didn't, it would probably be

called "Elysium just Breakfast. "

Does everything have to

be a joke, George?

Are you looking for the B and B?

It's another half mile.

You can't miss it.

Thank you. Thank you.

Leave? Yeah.

Back up, back up, back up.

No, no, no.

He's following us!

What does he want?

Honey, he's coming after

us! Oh, my God!

What does he want? I don't know!

He wants to chop us

up into 100 pieces

to make a suit out of our skins!

I don't know. Just back up faster!

The Bed and Breakfast is the

other way! The other way!

He's getting really close!

Hurry! What are you doing?

Oh, my God!

Oh, God! Oh, God!

Are you guys okay?

Oh, boy.

There is nothing we can do

about it until morning.

But we'll take care of you.

My name is Wayne, by the

way. I'm a nudist.

Yes, we noticed your penis earlier.

Touch!

I'm sorry?

Don't be sorry. It means "good

evening" in Swedish.

I studied economics in Stockholm.

But don't worry, I'm

not going to be

throwing Swedish at you all night.

"God afton" is pretty much

all I can remember.

But there I go, running

off at the mouth again.

Some people call it "verbal diarrhea. "

I just call it "word sh*t. "

I'm a butterfly!

I've got wings!

Grisham is a butterfly.

I'm really a boy.

Okay, that will be our

secret. All right!

He thinks I didn't hear what

you just said, but I did.

These folks pulled the old

flip-de-doo at the ravine.

Probably trying to back

out because they

thought I was some kind

of naked weirdo.

No. Yeah.

Do you have a room?

Do you remember downstairs

a minute ago

when you asked if I had a room?

Does this answer your question?

Yeah, I guess it does.

Completely.

I'm Kathy, by the way.

I'm Linda. That's George.

Hello.

"George," huh?

If you're George, then where's

John, Paul and Ringo?

Ah.

Where are they? Did you bring them?

No, I didn't bring them.

Not even Ringo?

Nope.

You know I'm kidding,

right? I do, yeah.

We're really tired, Kathy.

Okey-dokey.

Thank you, though. God afton.

What is that?

I thought it was you.

Me, doing what?

Please, baby. I'm so tired.

Oh, God.

I beg of you.

Please make it go away.

You're my hero.

George?

George!

That's it, George!

Linda! Yes.

Kathy told me that you

had beautiful skin.

But she's a liar, because

it is luminous.

Thank you. Who are you?

My name is Karen.

I'm sorry if my hands smell like

tahini. I was just making some hummus.

Take it home!

This is much less aggressive

than clapping.

Try it, try it. Seriously,

it's better.

Babe, can I talk to you just

for a second, outside?

Did you smoke pot?

No.

Why did you just lie to me? I'm

not going to tell on you.

I had one hit. One?

I think it might be the best pot

I've ever had in my life.

You have to try this.

Hey, Rodney. What's up?

What's up? What's up?

This is Linda.

Hey. Here you go, beautiful.

Linda with the luminous skin,

it's so nice to meet

you. Thank you.

Did you know that all these

people, they live here?

This is a commune.

Isn't that crazy?

That's crazy.

I'm Rodney, I'm her husband.

He's an African-American.

Wow, you guys are really in love.

We are. We are just as much in love

as if we were the same color.

We actually had our wedding

ceremony right here

and Seth was our spiritual

officiant.

Who's Seth?

You haven't met Seth?

In a word, he's

a teacher, a guide, a coach,

a guru, a shaman.

He's everything.

Everything.

So, Seth is your leader?

No, no, no.

We have no leaders here.

Mother Earth is the only

leader we need.

You two must be the proud owners of

that upside-down people-mover

out in the driveway.

I'm Seth.

I'm George. This is Linda.

Hi. Hi.

Looks like you made

it out unscathed.

Not totally unscathed. Ow!

Feel it?

How do you feel?

I'm better, I think.

That's good.

We'll deal with those withholding

father issues another time.

And you must be...

I'm Linda.

Linda.

Hi. Oh.

You smell like walnuts and suede.

Walnuts and suede.

Welcome to Elysium. Come on,

I'll show you around.

That's a God's eye. I made

it myself, last Kwanzaa.

I love what you've got going here.

Honest, I feel like I can breathe

for the first time in I

don't know how long.

It's incredible!

How long has the house been here?

I bought this house in 1971

with nine of my friends.

Jerry Beaver, Stephanie Davis, Ronny

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