Wanderlust Page #6

go into town for a second.

How are you going to do that?

Rodney didn't tell

you what happened.

What happened?

I don't understand.

I know. I know, right? It's

crazy. It's crazy.

What exactly happened, all

right? Take me through.

Okay. Well, it was like,

"I'm going on the road. "

Cut to, in the pond.

No, don't "cut to" the pond.

What... Don't cut.

I mean, can you believe that?

Can you believe it?

No, I can't believe it.

Which is why I want you to tell

me, how did that happen?

I'll tell you what.

Hindsight being 20/20,

I probably wouldn't have

done it the same way.

What did you need our

car for anyway?

It doesn't matter anymore.

Hey, George.

Hey, Eva, I didn't see you there.

You look sad. Well...

Everything that's been happening

in your life recently,

the fact that you're walking on

two feet at all, it's amazing.

Seriously, George.

I've been walking on two feet

for most of my adult life.

Oh, George.

I like you.

I like you, too, Eva.

We should make love sometime.

George? Yeah.

I heard you. Yeah.

You don't know about

our philosophy.

Here at Elysium we

believe that open

sexual boundaries lead

to a deeper honesty.

How would you and Linda

feel about that?

Anyway, think about being

inside me. Talk to Linda.

Here you go, sir. Have a great

day. Thank you very much.

And you enjoy that apple.

Honey!

I just sold my first apple. I picked

it, I bagged it and I sold it.

Terrific. Our car is at

the bottom of a lake.

So, George, I hear Eva asked

to intercourse with you.

What?

Yeah.

Thanks, Seth.

That was what I was

going to tell you.

Apparently, at Elysium, they

practice free love.

And Eva suggested that we try it.

What did you tell her?

No. I said no.

I mean, we didn't finish

the conversation,

but I was about to, and

I will and did say no.

This is just biology.

Homo sapiens weren't meant to

be monogamous creatures.

I don't know, that just sounds

to me like an excuse

for everybody just to get

into bed together.

If you want to pick a fight with

your body's sexual chi,

it's just going to

drive it inwards.

And that invites disease and death.

Man, I'm not a fan of death.

People treat sex like it's this huge

deal with crazy life consequences.

Right.

What are you doing here?

I don't understand. What are you

doing here on our property?

That sounds like the lion's cry.

This is our property!

Of course we have the

goddamn deed to it.

Then prove it. Where is the deed?

If you think I can remember where

I put a piece of paper in 1971...

If you wanna make a

stink out of this,

you can do that, but you're

going to lose.

Or, we resolve this very quickly

and we all come away

with something.

It's okay, George. I got this.

I wasn't going to do anything.

Our people have a spiritual

right to this land!

We have deep roots here.

I don't think the lion could have

roared any clearer, my friend.

No dice.

There's thousands more where that

came from. I actually...

Can I have one of those?

Yes, please, that's for you.

And keep that, sir.

Oh, really? Smile.

I can do that, too.

Deal with me.

How do you like that? Here,

Brett, why don't you?

See? How do you like that?

Really? Do you want it?

I'll take another.

Yeah, sure. Here you go.

Thanks very much.

Please, please. It's my pleasure.

Three can play at that game.

There's a Kinko's 13

miles down the road.

Go get copies.

I will get more cards.

I will be back.

Come back and buy a zucchini.

And we will build that casino.

Carvin, do you have any

idea where the deed is?

No, I'll find it, because

I use the think method.

I just think of, "Where wouldn't

"I expect it to be?"

and I go there.

And so far, it's not there.

Don't worry, we can fight this.

Oh, my God!

What's the matter? What happened?

George just killed a

defenseless animal.

What? No, I just swatted a fly.

For Christ's sake! Here we go.

And now it's dead. What if it

had young living somewhere?

Young? Like, maggots?

Are you serious?

This man has a fetish for

violence. No, I don't.

He has a fetish for violence!

We're talking about a fly.

And where does it end?

When you kill a fly,

you kill a bird.

You kill a bird, you kill a dog...

You kill a dog, you kill a soldier.

I'm sorry. I didn't know

I was killing soldiers.

I support the troops.

I cannot even look

at you right now.

I'm sorry, I'm trying to

learn all the rules.

There are no rules here, George.

Except "no swatting flies. "

That's not a rule.

It's just a way of thinking

about stuff.

You did something wrong

and you're a little embarrassed

about it. It's okay.

I did something wrong?

Forgiveness is always allowed.

I've seen you throw a

battery at a pigeon.

I didn't kill it. Why

are you doing that?

It was a long time ago.

A long time ago.

And it was right on our

window, it was all...

That's not the point.

I've said for years we should

have a bug zapper here.

Jerry Beaver, Stephanie,

Ronny, Danielle...

Here we go. Thank you, acid.

Tony, Janie, and Janice Woo.

You know, it's amazing,

I can remember

Janice Woo with perfect clarity.

I just can't remember

where the deed is.

You know why? Because I

didn't f*** the deed.

That's right.

Hey, it's Sherm. I'm out as

usual. Leave a message.

Hey, Sherm, it's George, from work.

How are you doing, man?

Look, I was wondering

if you've heard

of any job opportunities

back in the city.

Linda and I have been out

of town for a while

and we're kind of itching

to get back.

Call me if you get the message.

Hey.

Hi.

Oh, wow.

She really is blossoming,

isn't she?

Yeah, look at her go.

Marking her turf.

So free.

I'm just sad that she didn't respond

to the free love idea.

I know. I know.

I respect your and Linda's

relationship so much.

But if you ever change your mind...

You'll be the first to know.

I promise I wouldn't disappoint.

Yeah, that's great.

I mean, I can lick your balls

while I give you a blowj*b.

No way! Yeah.

Oh, my God.

I'm getting a little wet

just talking about it.

Me, too.

People, they are breaking ground

on the casino today!

We got to protest!

The people will be heard!

Where's my bullhorn?

I need the bullhorn!

Where once stood an insignificant

fruit stand

will now grow the much sweeter

fruit of prosperity.

So here's to good jobs,

economic growth

and tax revenue for years to come.

I'm the f***ing founder, for Christ's

sake, suburban mall-dweller!

No, no, no. You're all

on private property.

Yeah, it's our property.

Private property this.

Almond, no, no! Anger is

not the cure for this.

Come on, we have to do something.

I know! It's like...

Brother, if we could just talk,

heart to heart, for one moment.

Greed-mongering shithead!

We're going to expose

you and your greed!

You're all free to stand on

that side of the barrier.

Hey, news gal!

Where the hell are you going?

We got what we need.

Don't your viewers care about

a corporation making backroom

deals with politicians

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