War, Inc. Page #7

Mr. Hauser? I told you Fallaf

was not a good idea, didn't I?

It's a no-go zone. And you went.

That was not a good idea.

Get down!

Go.

Could you please try to call Natalie again?

What the f*** is wrong with you?

What, my English not so good?

Come on. I love you.

Come on here. Come on here.

Get down, get down!

Get up.

Hey, you in charge?

- Who the f***'s in charge?

- No one! I'm no one!

- What are you lookin' at, b*tch?

- I'm no one!

A couple of quick announcements.

The panel discussion, the Redemptive

Power of the Hedge Fund Derivative...

has been moved to the mini ballroom.

Don't forget to go to the Meet

and Greet cocktail reception...

at the Tiki Room at five and pick up your gift bags.

They've got a coffee mug and a desert umbrella...

foam beer Koozie and a...

autographed copy from you know who...

of "How I Conquered the World and

Worked Out Issues With My Dad".

Take care of the kid.

'Cause I might have to go too.

You don't have to.

Yes, I do.

Natalie.

I saw your face and creation held its breath.

I'm coming.

No, no, no...

Silly me. I was expecting a beautiful woman.

Sorry.

Hauser...

Love does get one into difficult situations.

Somebody's gonna kill you.

It was supposed to be me.

Triple your security.

Stay off the streets.

With a little skill you may actually stay alive.

- How may I thank you?

- No need.

We're in a constant state of war, Hauser.

We kill our brothers, complete strangers...

the guilty and the innocent.

We are at war with our own hearts.

Love is a cease-fire that's destined to fail.

But, as I said...

it does get us into tricky situations.

Sometimes the back of a garbage truck.

The ultimate Chickenhawk is roosting close-by.

Good luck.

She says she's a bridesmaid.

- You got an extra dress?

- Yes.

For all of us at Tamerlane...

I extend a heartfelt good luck and God bless...

whoever that god may be.

To our happy young couple. Shalom.

Sh*t.

We have someone to do your hair and makeup.

I could do this.

Sit down!

Clean yourself!

We gotta go to the viceroy. Where the hell is Hauser?

A**hole.

All right.

I am going to tell that bastard that

I want to go shopping in America.

And I never come back. Can I stay with you?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

It's time.

Where are you? I wanna see you.

Hauser. I'm about to address the weddin'.

You're just gonna have to wait 'til I'm done.

I've waited long enough.

Hauser.

Hello, Walken. You look fabulous.

How did you know?

Where else would you be?

And going to the Viceroy in five...

four, three, two...

Wonderful opportunities here, Hauser.

As long as these towel-heads don't

look up freedom in the dictionary.

To use one of your own homespun colloquialisms

let's cut the sh*t, shall we?

That is your viceroy?

You know what your problem is, Hauser? You're a moralist.

That's why you're so much fun to f*** with.

War is the improvement of investments by other means.

For dummies. The USA is a subdivision of Tamerlane.

Democracy, the war on terror, the war on drugs...

these are all focus group slogans for Tamerlane.

You murdered my wife. And I'm here to kill you for that.

You were such a superb killing machine, Hauser.

What happened to you?

You've had a whole week to kill Omar.

Of course I could have liquidated you

after you thought you'd killed me.

Right after I tried to kiss you and

you threw me in the garbage truck.

It's gonna be hard to torture someone who's mostly dead.

But I'm gonna try...

to enjoy it.

But, by killing the woman and kidnapping the girl...

Oh, my God.

That was so much more satisfying.

I left you in a state of constant agony.

You ever wonder what the ideology

of vibrio cholerae bacterium...

or the system of Yersinia pestis the

bacteria that causes bubonic plague.

I'll tell you, Hauser.

Perpetuation.

An infinite succession of generations.

Immortality on the installment plan.

I wish I had that sort of esprit d'corps.

That bacterial team spirit.

Talk about legacy. Talk about empire.

You're gonna tell me what you did with her...

then I'm gonna kill you again.

- Do you understand, old man?

- Don't you get it?

Your daughter happens...

Shut it down!

Your daughter, Hauser.

Your daughter is about to be married.

And, Daddy you're the father of the bride.

God, that's a conversation stopper.

Well, you just sit back and enjoy the show.

You must be a real proud daddy.

Here she comes.

Ain't you the proudest daddy? Look at that.

She turned out good.

She looks good in that white dress

and those little white boots.

A white dress and white boots.

Oh, look at that.

Don't you think the little whore turned out well?

I promised her Daddy would be here. And here you are.

Shoot him!

The father of the bride!

Hauser! Where are you, Hauser?

Come on, fight me like a dude. Face me Hauser.

Come on!

I can control all of this with my eyes.

Yonica!

- Yonica.

- Shut the f*** up!

- Yonica. Yonica.

- Shut the f*** up! Shut up.

Get done, come on.

Dearly beloved, friends, believers and infidels.

We are gathered here today...

to join together in holy matrimony this man and this...

Yonica! Yonica!

Hauser!

You can't do this. I won't let you.

I'm your father.

Catch him.

It's me.

I've loved you since the minute you were born.

I will kill you!

It's gonna be okay.

We're gonna be a family again.

Come on!

Yonica, Yonica.

Let go of that! Don't do that.

What's going on?

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go!

Get me back to the bunker. Headset.

Get me a tomahawk.

Blow this whole f***in' place to sh*t.

Yes, sir.

Terrorists at the weddin'. We've got 'em cornered.

So close to the bunker could be dangerous, sir.

Haven't you heard of a surgical strike?

- Launch it.

- Firing two-one.

Viceroy coming through. Viceroy coming through.

You should have let me finish the job!

Tamerlane weapons are precision-guided...

to minimize collateral damage.

Not only is our technology the

most advanced in the world...

but also with a smart missile system...

we can launch a matchstick in Milwaukee...

and stick it up the ass of termite in Tehran.

Sh*t happens.

This blows.

"Killer, Whores and Jackals. Behind Brand USA".

Good title, huh?

It's a little wordy.

Vehicle from the front!

All right, that's it! Hold it!

We are going to honeymoon.

Dude, it's the newlyweds!

Hey! Stand down!

Yonica, congratulations. Your chariot's right this way.

Thank you.

- I have your poster on my wall.

- No, he's lyin'. It's my wall.

I used to... no. Bye.

Run, run, run.

Run, run, run.

I cannot f***ing believe this.

Yonica, I know I saved you but I don't

want you putting me up on a pedestal.

I'm just a person, just a man.

Are you crazy? Where have you been?

- You are a f***ing a**hole, you know?

- Oh, I feel much better.

Go. Turn this thing on!

So you don't want her to be an assassin like you.

Well, don't worry because I want to be like you.

- Yonica, don't be so sarcastic.

- I'm not.

- Where are we going?

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