War, Inc. Page #6

- You hungry?

- I could eat.

Let's find the kitchen.

Look at this. An 82 margaux.

They must have left in a hurry.

We can be shot for looting.

We can be shot for anything in Turaqistan.

Let's see. There must be an opener here somewhere.

I just don't know if I'm domestic

enough to make a meal out of...

olives and caviar and peanut butter.

Yonica! There's food!

Very high-tech for Turaqistan.

Crazy little brat.

If she's a virgin...

I'm Dick Cheney.

Yonica, would you like some wine?

No. I hate wine. It's so sour.

Milk is good.

- I want a picture of you two.

- No pictures.

Okay, one.

Get in.

So you two getting married?

Because you are already married with wife in America?

Everybody wants American wife.

No.

Never were married?

Was once actually.

What happened?

It's not that interesting.

What happened?

Haven't spoken of it in a long time.

She was killed.

Murdered.

I came home one night and my

beautiful wife had been slaughtered.

I had a little girl and she was taken.

No ransom note, nothing. Just gone.

- Why?

- I don't know.

Who would do that?

I don't know anything except it was all because of me.

What do you mean?

I had many enemies. I've done many things.

What was her name? Your daughter?

Cara.

There's a reason I do this work.

I don't have to feel anything.

That's so f***ed up.

Hey. Whassup?

Get out!

Sometimes I think is better not to feel. Just skip it.

How long can you live that way?

The poison's just old. It's like a slow motion suicide.

Or wake up every day and wonder if

you have the courage to walk away...

to say:
No, I won't do that. I'm

not that person. I'm not that thing.

You think I should not marry Ooq-Mi-Fay?

Hey, boss we have a problem.

Hold that thought.

What's the problem, guys?

Try some caviar.

It's so good!

I love.

My mom would always try to get me to eat weird stuff.

Tempeh and wheatgrass...

and all I ever wanted was peanut butter.

He's a complicated guy, huh?

Not what'd you think.

Hey, not so tough today, huh?

Hey, look, the little girl has crowns.

You think you can drown me with the sheep sh*t.

I don't think so.

You want we should take video now?

Or kill him first?

Be less blood if you kill me first, more

fun if you cut it off while I'm alive.

- Shut up.

- Okay.

I think I could take those two ears

and I can put them on my Harley.

Maybe I can pick up KROQ on my radio.

Oh, pretty face. Bye.

You ought to do some face. Taste.

Stay!

Cut off the fingers I used to wipe my ass.

I cannot believe you just did that!

What person could squeeze eyeballs from Bodhi Bhundhang?

And that a**hole tells me not to marry Ooq-Mi-Fay?

I'm f***ing marry Ooq-Mi-Fay.

He's pig. And I'm whore.

- You want me to take the freeway?

- Yeah. Whatever.

It is who I am. I am that person.

And if I'm going to be whore, at least I can be rich.

I just want to make soulful music and be sad and rich.

You don't have to marry some a**hole to do that.

Natalie, you will be my bridesmaid?

Please?

My father, he's coming. I haven't

seen him since I was baby.

It will be nice to meet him.

And if you are there I will not be so afraid.

What am I gonna wear?

- What about Katie Courich?

- F*** her.

F*** them all.

Miami Beach Hotel.

Jeff? I just sent you a photo of that Tamerlane guy.

He just slaughtered half a dozen

of Ooq-Mi-Fay Taqnufmini's posse...

Find out who the f*** this guy is.

Hey. I just got this message from the Viceroy.

"We didn't front you $1.3 million to

whack a bunch of Fifty Cent wannabes."

You know what I'm saying? You

got 18 hours to kill Omar Sharif.

And may I just add personally.

What the f*** are you doing?

Will you kill the mother f***er so we

can get the hell out of this shithole?

What are you doing?

Hello? Is there anyone in th-?

Hey, it's Natalie.

I'm either unmasking corporate greed or washing my hair.

So leave a message.

That's good. Thanks. Great.

Is that good?

That looks great. Everything you're

doing is great. It's really great.

My communications degree is finally paying off.

Where is Omar?

Well, let me check. Omar?

- Camera Four, Marsha. Camera Four.

- Omar's Camera Four.

Why don't you pull in?

Do you have his Blackberry address?

Laptop.

By the way, Anderson Cooper cannot make the wedding.

- What room was he going to stay in?

- Eleven-oh-one.

Just you, Cowboy.

Oh, jeez. Gosh. By the way. This came for you.

I think...

It must have been this morning and...

This is Natalie Hegalhuzen.

I am being held by the Provisional

Liberation Army of Greater Turaqistan.

I will be executed unless the

following demands are met by 6 pm.

The complete unconditional withdrawal of

all Tamerlane forces from Turaqistan.

The dissolution of the criminal's INS state of Israel.

Three. The acquisition by the Turaqi

National Basketball team...

of LeBron James for a player to be named later.

I'm unhurt and well-treated...

And am right where I wanted to be.

You're improvising, b*tch. I hate that!

I know where she is.

No. Wait a second! We're live in 6 hours.

I trust you. You handle everything.

Oh, Jesus Mary and Joseph.

How are you, sir? Nice to see you, sir.

You can go.

Jerry, how do I get to Fallaf?

Fallaf. Are you out of your mind?

Here at GuideStar we definitely call Fallaf a no-go zone.

That's snuff city, dude.

Hey, don't get cute. Just give me the damn directions.

You sound a little angry, rather

emotional. It's a good thing.

Good. Let it go.

Is that the best you can do for

seventy-nine ninety-five a month?

Steven Seagal is like 500 pounds now.

They use body doubles for everything, but this.

How many times do I have to tell you?

I am opposed to the occupation.

I have railed against it in every

significant journal in the world!

I think you are mistaking me with

someone who actually gives a f***.

Hey, you're just a gift for us, babe.

What do I do when I get to Nafluni?

There's a Mobil station on your right. See it?

Yeah. I think so.

Great. Take the next right. Follow the road.

If you're a praying man, I'd start about now.

Can we kill her already? I'm getting hungry.

We're still working out the

international distribution rights.

I want to...

put the camera lower this time.

Oh, you mean like the construction

guard decapitation, huh?

But you want it from here to there or from there to here?

- All the way.

- All the way's gonna be messy.

Yeah, but it's art.

- Do you have any candy?

- No. Get lost.

I told you these a**holes never have sh*t.

Looking for the kidnapped b*tch?

American?

We have three. Two yellow hair and one dark hair.

Dark hair.

Where?

Show me.

10? No. How about 20? Okay. It's a deal.

Shut up! Let's do it.

Don't shoot, man!

Hey, we're sorry. Chill.

I'm sorry, just take the girl. We don't want the girl.

We just, we do movies, man. We love to make movies.

Yeah, yeah, movies.

Don't get up, guys. We gotta run.

F***, dude. That was intense.

Okay. We're okay.

Next time bring some candy a**hole.

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