War Dogs Page #3

working the phones.

Forging relationships

with weapon manufacturers

all over Eastern Europe.

No, David Packouz from AEY.

I told Iz we were doing conference calls

with sheet suppliers in Pakistan.

They called guys like us war dogs.

Bottom feeders who make money off of war

without ever stepping foot

on the battlefield.

It was meant to be derogatory,

but we kinda liked it.

You f***ing scumbag piece of sh*t!

Drown, motherf***er, drown!

Very nice.

Ralph Slutsky

was Efraim's silent partner.

He was a local businessman

who owned 14 dry cleaners

all across Miami.

Why didn't anybody tell me

the mister is broken?

Ralph put up the money to back the deals

in exchange for 25% of the company.

Or at least what he thought was 25%.

We're doing God's work, Ralph.

We really are.

You know, every Jew owes a debt to Israel.

In my mind, this is not

a metaphorical debt.

Ralph was under the impression

that Efraim was an observant Jew

who only dealt arms as a means

to protect Israel from her enemies.

Beautifully said.

Did you happen to catch

last Friday's T orah portion?

- One of my favorites.

- Same here.

It reminds me so much

of this story I once read.

About a young man traveling to Pinsk.

And that was Efraim's genius.

He would figure out

who someone wanted him to be

and he would become that person.

Ah!

And he's got, like, 20,000 of them.

Great.

Where did you find this guy?

You remember Victor in the Ukraine?

Yeah, the one with the Mk3s?

Yeah. He turned me

on to this company in Cyprus.

It's run by this guy, Henry Girard.

Henry Girard?

Yeah, you know him?

You spoke to Henry Girard?

A couple of times. Why? Who is he?

Dude, for the last 20 years,

this guy has basically supplied

both sides of every conflict

on the planet.

He's a f***ing animal.

Really? Why is he calling me?

Because he's a f***ing animal.

It's all money and it all matters.

Hey, mami, where are you going?

I'm trying to find my friends.

You want to make some money?

Excuse me?

I'll give you $1,000 right now

if we fast forward to our third date.

What does that even mean?

It means we just had a great dinner,

maybe met your friends for some drinks

and now you're about to blow me in my car.

Can we just get right to that part?

Who the f*** are you?

Efraim Diveroli.

That's my best friend, David.

And we're international arms dealers.

But you already know that

because we're on our third date.

- What's going on?

- Nothing, bro.

I'm about to get out of here with my girl.

What the f***, man!

Oh, my God.

That guy was not f***ing around.

Yeah, you probably should have

picked a different girl.

F*** that, it almost worked.

Hey, do you remember when you fought

Eric Moscowitz in sixth grade?

Yeah, he did that windmill thing

with his arms.

That was the sickest. He was unbeatable.

You remember that sh*t?

That's it.

Dude, he would have killed me

if you didn't jump in.

Probably. Mmm.

Hey, I never said "thank you."

For everything.

Come on, you know how much

you've helped me out lately.

It's cool. You don't have to

make it weird, all right?

Hey, can we order some food?

Mami, come on.

I could have gone to Cuba and back.

Met the family,

grabbed a couple sandwiches.

I'd be done by now.

Hello?

Yes, sir. Sorry, I wasn't expecting

a work call this late.

Right, of course.

It's 9:
00 a.m. in Baghdad.

Who is it?

That's great news, Captain Santos.

Yes, sir.

We're going to get right on that.

Thank you. Bye.

What?

We just got the Beretta deal.

Get the f*** out of here.

I swear to God.

The Beretta deal was massive.

It was 10 times bigger

than anything we'd closed so far.

This was next level sh*t.

That's what I'm f***ing talking about!

That's real money, motherf***er! F***!

Do you realize we're going to make 600K

on this f***ing thing?

Holy sh*t.

David, your 30% is $180,000.

Holy f***ing sh*t!

It was amazing.

I'd been working with Efraim

for two months

and was already about to make more money

than a lifetime of massages.

Listen.

What is that?

That's your baby's heartbeat.

Wow.

Can you believe how fast it is?

- Is that normal?

- Totally normal.

Fetuses have a much faster heart rate

than we do.

Look.

So, you guys want to know the sex?

We keep going back and forth on it.

- What do you think?

- Um...

This is work. I have to take it.

I'm so sorry.

This is David.

This is Captain Santos in Baghdad

checking on the delivery

status of my Berettas.

Captain, good to hear from you.

Yes, we are on target. All good.

Great. I was worried

those guns were coming

direct out of Italy.

Absolutely. They are, sir.

Packouz, please tell me

you're aware of the legislation

the Italians passed last week.

The one banning

all arms shipments to Iraq.

I had no clue

what he was talking about.

But this was a huge f***ing problem.

Berettas are an Italian gun.

Made and manufactured in Italy.

Uh...

Of course.

I am. I've been on the phone

for the last three days,

making other arrangements.

Great.

That's what I wanted to hear.

Iraqi police force is depending on you.

Well, you tell them AEY

has got them covered.

- Outstanding.

- Thanks, Captain. Talk soon.

Everything okay?

Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine.

What happened? We done already?

Yeah. Guess what?

It's a girl.

Baby.

Okay. At least I hit something.

Seriously, what the f***

are we going to do?

Relax, bro.

Should I just call him back

and tell him the truth?

When does telling the truth

ever help anybody?

Efraim, we can't dick around with this guy

and then not deliver.

We're going to deliver.

I already figured it out.

We use Jordan.

Jordan Goldfarb?

Jordan...

Jordan the country.

It shares a border with Iraq.

It's a U.S. ally.

And most importantly, there's no embargo.

Okay, so what do we tell the Italians?

F*** them! As far as they're concerned

they're sending 5,000 Berettas

to a country they have no issue with.

All we have to do is ship the guns

from Jordan to Baghdad.

It's called circumvention.

Is that legal?

It's not illegal.

Want to try?

How did that charity thing go?

It was 5K, right?

It was supposed to be a 5K.

Uh, I finished about 1 K of it.

So, I should probably return

four-fifths of the money.

So, Andrew told me

you and Efraim are working together now?

Really?

Yeah, I told her about the sheet thing.

Yeah. Efraim has some contacts

with the government.

So we're just combining forces right now.

Yeah, just... Just be careful with him.

- Emily, don't.

- What?

How do you mean?

Well, his cousin, Rebecca,

is an old friend of mine.

We went to camp together.

And she told me

that he stole $70,000 from her father.

Whoa, really?

That's interesting.

I actually heard

it was the other way around.

That his uncle is the one

who stole the money from him.

See? You don't know.

Everyone has their own version of a story.

No, I'm pretty certain.

Their whole family

stopped talking to him over it.

Yo! Why aren't you answering your phone?

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