War Dogs Page #5

Six months ago,

I was a massage therapist in Miami Beach.

And now, here I was,

driving a truckload of guns

through the Iraqi desert

with my best friend from junior high.

Marlboro?

Hey, Marlboro?

Bro!

There's a dead body in the gas station!

What the f***!

Where are we? Where's Marlboro?

Did you not hear what I just said?

There's a f***ing dead body in there, man!

Yes, I heard you.

All right, we're in a war zone, bro.

There's dead bodies, relax.

All right, I gotta take a leak.

What?

Be careful.

I'm good, bro.

I know how to take a piss, all right?

Sh*t.

F***.

- Hello?

- Hey.

Hey, babe, is everything okay?

Yeah.

What time is it there?

It's, uh, 7:
30 in the morning.

Sh*t, did I wake you?

No, I'm just at the hotel.

We're about to have some breakfast.

Listen, I'm not saying I like it,

but I get why you're doing this.

You do?

This whole time I never thought

about what you must be going through.

All the pressure you're under.

It's just the lying that kills me.

It makes me feel like I'm in this alone.

No, you're not in this alone.

I need you to know

that you can tell me anything, David.

We're partners, remember?

David?

Yeah, I gotta call you right back.

- Is everything okay?

- Yeah, everything's fine.

I'm just going to call you

right back, okay?

I love you. Bye.

Efraim!

Efraim!

- What?

- Look!

Marlboro!

F***! What the f***, bro.

Holy sh*t, they have guns, man!

I know!

Go, go! Come on.

What the f***! It won't start!

Where the f*** is Marlboro?

- I got it!

- Go! Go!

No, no, no!

Wait, wait, wait!

Wait! No!

Run, motherf***er! Jump in!

Holy sh*t! They're getting

closer. Come on, man. Go!

Go, go!

Come on!

Are you kidding me?

We stopped for gas in Fallujah?

You cheap f***!

Go!

F*** you, Marlboro!

F***.

F***. F***.

We're gonna die!

You wanted to drive

to Baghdad, you a**hole!

They're stopping.

What the f***? Look.

Holy f***, bro.

Oh, f***! All right!

God bless Dick Cheney's America!

Look at this f***ing place.

Oh, my God.

Excuse me, sir?

What?

There are some guys here to see you.

Some guys?

What kind of guys?

Hey, Marlboro!

Give us a smile, gorgeous.

Let me see those pearly yellows.

You're like an Iraqi Tom Selleck, bro.

You guys are AEY?

Yes, sir. David Packouz.

This is my colleague, Efraim Diveroli.

We spoke on the phone.

I remember.

You drove these?

Through the Triangle of Death?

F***ing A right we did.

Kip, take these boys over to the cage,

get them paid.

Right away, sir.

I was wrong about you two.

Great f***ing job, boys.

Great f***ing job.

Holy sh*t, the Triangle of Death, bro?

That's right.

That's the AEY guarantee, b*tch.

We drive through all triangles,

including your mom's.

Hey, Kip, snap a photo of us, pal.

All right.

Ready?

- How's my hair?

- It's good, slicked back.

Thank you.

- Got you.

- Let me see it.

Helmut f***ing Newton over here.

All right, man.

- Perfect.

- All right, all right.

Let's go get f***ing paid.

Holy sh*t.

Crazy, right? $12.2 billion.

It's all seized

from the godfather himself.

You guys call

Saddam Hussein the godfather?

Look at all this cash, bro.

What would you call him?

$2.8 million.

- Just sign here.

- You got it.

We got a military escort

to the airport

and got the f*** out of Baghdad.

There was almost $3 million in cash

stuffed into our Army-issued duffel bags.

You might think

after barely surviving Iraq

that we 'd be done.

But you'd be wrong.

You see, the Beretta deal

put us on the map.

After that, we started killing it.

We bought matching Porsches.

We bought two apartments

in the same building.

Oh, my God.

Holy sh*t, bro.

Oh!

Whoo!

Ralph was so happy with his returns

that he increased his original investment

in AEY by $10 million.

That gave us enough capital

to pursue more deals

and expand the company.

Which is exactly what we did.

I cannot stress this enough.

You need to be scouring this website.

Day and night.

It is updated by the minute.

There are tens of thousands of

solicitations on this website.

Each one is 40 to 50 pages long.

If you see something interesting,

you bring it to me.

If you bring it to me,

I'll make you rich.

Fact, 18 months ago,

David here was jerking off guys for money.

Actually, that is not a fact.

That is absolutely a fact.

Now he drives a Porsche.

And that's all because of AEY.

Do you have any questions?

Um, I have a question.

What does AEY stand for?

What do you mean? Like morally?

No, I mean what do the letters mean?

That's f***ing...

What does IBM stand for? Nothing.

It just... It just sounds professional.

Uh, actually, IBM stands for

International Business Machines.

What did you say?

IBM stands for

International Business Machines.

Get the f*** out of here.

I'm serious.

You're not going to work here.

Get the f*** out of my office,

you f***ing nerd!

Go!

And for the record,

AEY doesn't stand for anything.

F***! What a dick.

Does anybody else have any questions?

Sleep. I got her.

All right. All right.

Hi.

I know.

I know. It's okay.

Okay.

What?

360,000 SVD sniper rifles.

1,084,000 GP-30 grenades.

45,000 SKO aviation rockets.

The Pentagon's arming the Afghans

for the next 30 years.

They're building a whole army.

Wait, that's got to be a typo.

It's not.

100 million rounds of AK-47 ammo?

Bro, these aren't crumbs.

This is the whole f***ing pie.

Among defense contractors,

this would come to be known

as the Afghan deal.

It would be the biggest opportunity

AEY would ever see.

We had to go for it.

So, where do you go

to arm an entire country?

Vegas X is where

military and manufacturers

come together to unveil

the latest in warfare.

It's like Comic-Con with grenades.

Sure, most of these guys

didn't know who AEY was.

But we saw that as an advantage.

- You got your list?

- Got it.

- You feel good?

- Yeah, I feel pretty good.

You know, this is different

than doing business on the phone.

When they look at us,

they're going to see two kids.

So we have to show them our balls.

Got it.

We need to be f***ing thugs,

you understand?

Understood.

All right, good. Let's kill this sh*t.

But it was a complete disaster.

We quickly learned that

even if we could land the Afghan deal,

it would be a logistical nightmare.

Jerry, good to see you.

To source a deal of this magnitude

would mean piecing together

multiple vendors

from all around the world.

Whoa, whoa.

Get out of here.

It would require

dozens of shipping outfits

and hundreds of permits.

We need 100 million rounds.

All that could be okay

for a major defense contractor.

But not for us.

Honestly, we were out of our league.

Change $ 10,000.

Any luck today?

Efraim!

What's up, bro?

Where you been? Why aren't you

answering your phone?

I'm with a prostitute. What's up?

Okay, you need to get dressed

and come with me right now.

All right, uh, give me

38 minutes.

Efraim, Henry Girard is down at the bar,

waiting for us.

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