War Dogs Page #7

Motherf***er!

$53 million.

We're okay.

Look at the bright side.

For once, the American taxpayer

is getting a good deal

on a defense contract.

Man, f*** the American taxpayer.

Hello?

Iz?

Hey, Ella. Hi.

How are you, sweetie?

Hey. Do you know

where her blue sandals are?

Oh, hey.

Um, I'm not sure.

But listen, can we talk for a sec?

Mmm-hmm.

I need to go back to Albania

for a couple weeks.

A month, tops.

Sure. No problem.

Hey, what's going on?

Ella and I are going to stay

with my mom for a while.

What? What are you talking about?

Iz, what happened?

How come you didn't tell me

you went to Iraq?

I was looking for the plumber's number

on your computer and I saw the photos.

I can explain.

You said you never left

the hotel room in Jordan.

I know. Because I didn't

want to freak you out.

Why is it every time I catch you in a lie

you try to convince me

that you lied for my benefit?

At what point do you

just admit you're a liar?

Iz, would you stop, please?

We said we'd tell each other everything.

- You promised!

- I know! Okay, I f***ed up.

What else aren't you telling me?

- Nothing.

- No.

Seriously.

You know everything now.

Okay. Aren't you going to ask me

why I called the plumber?

Yeah, sure. What happened?

The pipe is leaking in the guest bathroom.

I found this.

Let me guess.

You didn't want to freak me out?

Okay, hold on.

So I hid some money under the sink.

What's the big deal?

The big deal is you hid it from me!

No, I didn't!

Then who did you hide it from?

I don't know. It was stupid. You're right.

We're going to leave

before you think of something else to say.

Iz, I'm sorry.

Iz!

Oh, f***.

Hey, what's up, man?

What's up?

Just getting ready to leave.

What is that?

I just wanted to thank you

for agreeing to go on this trip.

It's not lost on me,

the sacrifice you're making

for this company.

And I really appreciate it.

"To my partner, David.

The world is yours."

- It's from Scarface.

- Of course, man. I remember.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Uh, hey, before I go,

I just wanted...

What's this?

It's our partnership agreement. 70-30.

I just wanted to make it official.

Yeah, of course.

- It's a good idea.

- Cool.

Man, eight f***ing weeks in Albania.

Iz is going to hate me forever.

No, she's going to suck your cock

every day for a year.

Because we're on the verge

of making $30 million.

Yeah, man.

Go crush it.

Thanks, bro.

Nice.

Hey, you've reached Iz.

You know what to do.

Come on, Iz. Don't cut me off like this.

I'm in Albania, at the hotel.

Left the number with your mom.

And if you could please just call me back

because I really miss you. Okay?

And I love you.

Bye.

Good morning, buddy.

Hey, Bashkim.

Oh, I bring you Kolonat.

It's our McDonald's.

Yeah, I'm good. But thanks.

We go to work now?

Uh-huh. No, no, no.

I said I need two trucks.

Yeah, you just got the one here right now.

Yeah. Look, I got a cargo

plane sitting at the airport.

Yeah, I know. I know.

Hey, let me call you right back.

Hey, stop! Stop, stop!

Hold up, hold up, hold up!

Hey, turn that off!

What the f*** is that?

Where did you get this?

Yo! What's up?

Hey, man, we got a problem.

- Where you at?

- I'm at Liv, bro.

Trying to bang some Cuban chick

who's waiting for me at my table.

Why, what do we got?

Let me get this straight.

I'm in Albania right now

freezing my ass off.

You're at Liv, trying to get laid?

David, it's 1:
00 a.m. here.

I'm blowing off some steam.

Yeah, 1:
00 a.m. is when you're

supposed to be at the office

because that's the middle of f***ing day

in every country we do business with.

Look, we got a problem

with the AK ammunition.

- What kind of problem?

- It's Chinese.

Chinese, bro?

What does that even mean, Chinese?

It means it's from China.

What are you talking about?

I was there, I saw the ammo.

We both did.

Yeah, look, I don't know what to tell you.

They f***ed us. Okay? We got played.

Hold on. How do you even

know it's Chinese?

There's Chinese writing

on every f***ing crate.

Trust me, it's Chinese.

Yeah.

Henry, what the f***!

We've been trying to reach you

for two days!

It's Efraim and David.

We have a serious f***ing problem.

I'm listening.

The AK ammunition, it's Chinese.

What, you think the Afghans

who are getting

shot up by the Taliban give a sh*t

where their ammo comes from?

No, but the Pentagon does.

Henry, you know we can't use Chinese!

America has an embargo against China.

You had your boys show us the one crate

of Albanian ammo in the entire country.

I'm sorry, did anyone prevent you

from inspecting the other crates?

Did you even bother to ask

what the country of origin was?

Who the f*** would ask that?

Henry, I'm staring at 100 million rounds

of illegal Chinese ammunition

that you sold us.

What are we supposed to do?

Do your f***ing job!

The U.S. government

wants to look the other way.

Don't give them a reason not to.

And while you're at it,

learn the difference between

"We have a problem"

and "You have a problem."

F***!

We were f***ed.

The ammo was worthless

and I was stuck in Albania

trying to piece together new suppliers

from all over Eastern Europe.

Holy sh*t.

What the f*** are you doing here, man?

I have a big idea.

How did you get in my room?

They let me in.

I'm a trustworthy guy.

Not only did they let me in,

they brought me room service.

Anyway, I have a big f***ing idea.

Yeah? What's that?

What if we repack?

Repack what?

The bullets!

What if we repack them all?

100 million rounds?

David, it can be done.

Think about it.

We'll also save a fortune on shipping.

We trade out all the big,

heavy wooden crates

for light cardboard boxes.

Yeah, but it would still be Chinese ammo.

Look at this towel. Okay?

Turkish. Made in Turkey.

Not anymore. Now it's an Albanian towel.

It's only Chinese

if the packaging says it's Chinese.

Yeah. But I mean, that's

also f***ing illegal, man.

We have two options.

We either repack this sh*t and send it off

or we can walk away

from a $300 million-deal.

What do you want to do?

When you put it like that

there's really only one option.

Our driver Bashkim

introduced us to his friend

who owned a boxing and storage company

out of Tirana.

This is Enver. I grew up with him.

Nice to meet you, Enver.

You too. Bashkim told me

a little about your situation.

Yeah, look, to put it simply,

we have a weight problem.

We're shipping

a large quantity of ammunition

from Albania to Afghanistan.

Right now, it's packed in heavy tins

inside big wooden crates.

And what we would like to do

is to transfer those bullets

into plastic bags

and then put those in double-walled,

corrugated fiberboard boxes.

Do you know what those are?

Yeah, of course. For what reason?

We just told you.

What the f*** is it with this country?

The original packaging, it's too heavy.

Too many crates. We need to streamline.

Okay. How many crates?

A lot. It's 100 million

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