Wasteland Page #2

You own the paint, so you get to change your own picture.

Where the f*** did you get that?

Dear Deirdre. Doesn't mean it's not true.

The worst thing about history, Harvey,

is that people only tend to look at it

through the tearful eyes of regret.

- Oh, God, stop now, you sleazy bastard.

- Oh, you are so full of sh*t.

Go and talk to her.

- Give her one from me, pal.

- "Give her one from me"? How profound.

- F*** off, Charlie.

- Budge up.

Look at the sleaze go past.

Oh, it's all over me trousers.

It's good to have you back, mate.

Here, that's the key to our flat.

I suggest that if you do have

a little sleepover with the lady,

you do it at her gaff,

because you're in the sitting room.

- Shut the f*** up.

- Your problem is your bird.

You need to get it right.

She came on to me knowing.

Because you're not talking to me.

I told you, you speak again, I'm gonna knock you out.

You're not talking to me 'cause a

bird is getting in between our relationship.

Must be further than it looks.

Seemed to take you forever to make it over here.

Yeah, I think I look good too.

Thanks for mentioning it.

- Can I buy you a drink?

- I'm sure you can.

"Will I drink it?"

is the question you should be asking.

- Would you?

- No.

But maybe that's 'cause I just bought this one.

If you bought me another, it'd go flat

and the ice would melt

before I'd had a chance to take a sip.

Or maybe it's 'cause I hate the very sight of you.

- Do you?

- Maybe.

Can I sit down and wait till your glass

is empty, see how the theory pads out?

- That depends.

- On?

- What you want.

- Just wanna sit down.

Don't you wanna have sex with me?

Well, it's been over a year, Harvey,

and like you wanted to say, I do look good.

Or do you just wanna talk about your feelings?

I'm sure it's been a while since

you've been able to open up emotionally.

Or are you going to apologise for being

the absolute prick that broke my heart?

How about all three?

Come back to bed.

I won't be able to walk around the ward.

- No, to sleep.

- My shift starts in half an hour.

Made you a cup of tea, though.

It's the middle of the night,

for Christ's sake. Can't you call in sick?

It's 7:
30, and, no, I can't.

It'll take half the day to walk back to the estate.

Trust you to inconvenience matters by moving.

Too many people I don't wanna see on that estate.

I know the feeling.

I left you my number with that cup of tea.

I've really gotta go.

- Hello.

- Hi.

Dempsey? She's gone, mate.

What time do you call this?

- You've got all my stuff.

- I know.

Thought Mum chucked it all in the skip before she left.

We saw her do it, so me and Charlie

got it all back and fetched it here.

You never told me.

I wanted it to be a surprise,

see the smile on your little face.

If I'd known you'd be banging round in the

middle of the night, I'd have thought twice.

- Thanks, mate.

- Say it with tea.

Lots of tea.

With lots and lots of sugar in it.

Hang your stuff up there, mate.

- Where you off to?

- For a sh*t.

- What time is it?

- Half nine.

Kitchen's there. See you at ten.

- Why are you not talking still?

- Don't you f***ing start.

You f***er.

Shut up, you d*ckhead, and read the pap...

- Ey up, Harvey.

- You two lovebirds still bickering?

- All right?

- Come and sit next to me, pal.

Pretty face like yours, 12 months inside,

oh, it must hurt to sit.

Already had this one from Dempsey.

You thieving little bastard.

You know that's my joke.

- You should've picked him up in your car.

- I don't have a car.

- My fault, is it?

- F*** off.

So, the engagement's back on, then?

The way she ran out this morning,

I wouldn't bet your pension on it.

- Cold shoulder?

- No.

I don't know. Doesn't matter. I won't be

around long enough to make a go of it anyway.

Where are you going?

Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you all about.

Out with it.

Right, basically, I'm considering a business proposition

that were put to me by a lad on the inside.

Yeah, admit it, you already think I'm a d*ckhead.

The lad's a Dutch kid called Dirk.

Dirk?

He'd already been inside seven months

when I got there and eleven left.

- What were he in for?

- Possession.

He'd been running club nights

in Holland since he were 17,

decided to come here and try his luck at the same thing.

Why?

Misguided romantic notions

of England being the home of dance music.

His problem was,

he didn't realise that Leeds isn't Amsterdam.

Too f***ing right.

When the local police sussed his club was so popular

because the foreign manager were flooding

the dance floor with cut-price Dutch Es,

they had a stroll down.

- Oh, dear.

- That's what his dad said.

His dad's a High Court barrister, so he were

bound to be a bit upset at the embarrassment.

However, he ain't disowned the boy.

He's offered to help him get started in a business,

knowing how an ex-con

is shafted for career prospects.

- That's nice of him.

- Dutch people are laid back, Dodd.

His terms are Dirk goes back to Holland,

promises to stop being a twat

and finds a way to match

his dad's investment, show him he's serious.

What's the business?

Coffee shop, in the tourist centre

ofAmsterdam, solid reputation,

managing to maintain a good profit even now.

How much is it?

He's accepted Dirk's offer of 110 grand, English.

- Bargain.

- Offer's good for a month.

- Where do you come into it?

- He's asked me to come in with him.

- With money?

- Yeah, Dodd, with money.

- What does he think your parents do?

- He knows I ain't got 55 grand.

He knows I can't get it on my own.

He's happy for me to bring

my three best mates into the deal.

- Oh, that's good of him.

- There's still a problem.

- What?

- We haven't got 50-odd grand either.

No. But Steven Roper does.

I don't think he's gonna give you a loan

if I'm honest with you.

I don't give a f*** what he won't give me.

He owes me for a f***ing year

and he'll pay me for that year.

You were never an idiot, Harvey, so

I'm gonna assume there's some logic here.

Yeah, there is.

Maybe I should give you a little background.

Are you aware of the details of my case?

You were released from prison six weeks ago,

having served half of a two-year sentence

for possession of heroin with intent to supply.

First offence of any kind.

I can tell you with a straight face,

I've never supplied anything to anyone.

I've only seen heroin once in my entire life.

What do you know about Steven Roper?

He's not a very nice man.

He's done time for assault and robbery,

but that was some time ago,

because he is now a legitimate businessman

running an industrial security firm

out of the Rise Estate.

However, it has been speculated

that he's involved in drug trafficking.

Speculated?

We haven't been able to build

a solid enough case against him.

Why do you think that is?

Maybe he's a lot smarter than we like

to give a two-bob thug credit for.

Steven Roper employs a well-considered set

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