Watch the Skies Page #2

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That's not cool.

So, with that in mind,

lam forming a neighborhood watch.

A task force of concerned citizens

to solve the murder of Antonio Guzman.

To keep an eye on any and all

suspicious activities...

and generally...

get to the bottom of things.

Thank you.

Okay. Solid turnout.

Thanks everybody for coming.

You're that guy from Costco, right?

Yes. I am that guy.

Okay.

All right. You want to--?

Oh.

One more concerned citizen.

Do you mind if I look around

the place a little bit?

Looks like you have

a lot of knickknacks.

Oh, wow. Hi.

Neighborhood watch meeting is...?

- Yes. Really?

- Yeah.

- Great. I'm Evan.

- I'm Jamarcus.

- Great to meet you.

- Good to meet you.

Great, that's great.

I was hoping another person would come...

and you're the best type of person

it could be.

Actually, I couldn't have even

hoped for someone like you.

I'm so pleased

to have this effect this early.

Terrific, this is exciting.

Come on in.

- I'm excited, too.

- Great.

Most people are disappointed

when they meet me which is so...

- British?

- I am, and you're American.

Yeah.

This looks like it's from

Thailand or something.

I don't know what it is.

Beautiful.

Oh, my God!

There's another doll in here.

Hi, look at this.

There's a doll in here.

Man, look at this thing.

Oh, my God, there's another one.

Look at this. Did you know that?

Yeah. I did.

It's a Russian nesting doll.

Do you want to have a seat?

That's incredible.

Look at that little doll.

Oh, my goodness, look at that.

It keeps going.

It keeps going, there's more.

There's more dolls in here.

They call them nesting dolls.

You want to sit down?

We can start the meeting.

There's more dolls.

You have one doll, you have another.

I put this on top of this doll.

I just have to see.

I have to get to the bottom of it.

You're kidding me.

Okay, why don't we start the meeting?

You're not going to tell me

that goes again.

What's that?

Guys, there's another one.

Where can I pick one of these up?

I'm not sure.

Want to sit down? We can get going.

I'm going to jump in here and do this.

Let's make party

out of this thing, right?

Here's some handbooks.

Uh-huh.

All right. My name is Evan.

I want to thank you all for coming...

and I thought we'd start out

by just getting to know each other.

Maybe we each stand up,

say who we are...

why we joined up,

what it's all about for us, okay?

You have any beers

while we get acquainted?

Beers? No, no beers.

All right, I'll start this off.

My name is Bob, with a

Welcome, Bob.

I love the town.

I love my wife, I love my daughter.

And I love getting a chance

to hang with the guys.

So, I'm really into

what you're doing here.

Once a week,

away from the wife and kids.

Telling some dirty jokes,

having some beers, if we're good.

I really look forward to getting

a chance at tearing this sh*t up.

Really f***ing it up.

Great. Thank you, Bob.

Really great to meet you, bub.

You, too, pal.

Uh...

That was a great speech.

I'm Franklin.

Welcome, Franklin.

Yeah.

A few years ago,

I dropped out of high school.

I wasn't feeling the vibe.

I wanted to become a member

of the Glenview Police Department.

I guess they didn't see

the magic that was me.

Apparently,

I didn't pass the written exam...

or the physical exam,

or the mental health exam.

Whatever that means.

So, here I am with this vigilante squad.

And I figure, that's the best way

to work through my emotional sh*t...

and bust some heads in the process.

Okay. Just to be clear,

we're not a vigilante squad.

Vigilante squad, militia...

Whatever you're going for, doesn't matter.

No, not a militia or a vigilante squad.

Every group needs a wild card...

and I think it's safe to say

we found ours.

I dig it.

Thank you, Franklin.

You got a good one here.

What are you about?

Hello, my name is Jamarcus.

I'm recently very happily divorced...

and just looking to get

more involved in the local community.

Well, that was simple.

Welcome, Jamarcus.

Also, I have this one scenario

in my mind...

that I'm kind of hoping

plays out like this.

Young, sexy, Asian housewife.

Alone at night, frightened.

A noise out by the trash cans.

Best call the Neighborhood Watch.

I show up, look heroic and then,

get this...

She sucks my balls.

Hear me now.

I'm also interested

in that happening to me.

Okay, well, Jamarcus, Bob, Franklin.

I guess it doesn't matter

what brought us all here.

What matters is that we're all united

in one cause.

And, with that, I would like to welcome

you all to the first official meeting of...

the Neighborhood Watch.

Yay!

Now, I've taken the liberty...

of dividing Glenview into 12 sectors.

Though some might argue

there are 13...

if you abide by the

Yorktown Zoning Commission ruling.

I'm not buying it,

but I'm not from Honeywell County.

Thank God.

I'm sorry to be the squeaky wheel...

but it feels like

you have a lot of dense material...

that you're starting to go through here.

And to be honest with you,

my house is about five blocks away...

and I just fixed her up.

Gentlemen, I got drinks,

I got La-Z-Boys, I got flat screens.

I got the whole nine.

I know you guys are going to love it.

I just want to throw it out there.

If I'm overstepping, just say the word...

and you're not going to hear

another squeak from this little wheel.

Well, honestly...

That sounds a f***-load better than this.

No offense.

I don't even know why I'm still sitting here.

I'm going to go warm up the car.

You're going to love this place.

It's awesome.

Gentlemen...

Welcome to paradise.

Oh, yes.

I'm a construction manager, and...

I built this little slice of heaven

with my own two hands.

It's so nice. I love it.

I'll set up over there.

You have a pool table.

Yeah, I just got it re-felted.

Go ahead and take her for a spin.

Hey, you like that thing, huh?

It feels like this chair

is inside me, Robert.

That is the best $2,300 I ever spent.

I got it at a place called

relaxtheback.com.

It's like Toys "R" Us

for your ass and back.

It feels like a thousand little baby wizards

are massaging my ass cheeks...

with their little baby wands.

Powerful imagery, brother.

I'm digging where he's coming from.

Handbooks. Boom.

What's your poison?

You down with Scotch?

- No poison.

- Scotch and yes.

- No poison.

- Scotch and yes.

- No.

- Scotch and yes!

We got a lot of ground to cover

and we're already an hour behind.

So, why don't we just dig in and then

we can get to whatever afterwards?

Guitar.

Come on, Evan,

we're just bonding a little bit.

Tell me about yourself.

I know you got a wife.

Do you have any kids? How old?

Uh, zero years old. No kids.

That's a shame. I couldn't imagine

my life without my little Chelsea.

- Being a parent is unbelievable.

- That's great.

Dad, can I go

to a movie at 11?

Hell, no! it's a weeknight!

But Mandy and Judy are going.

Mandy? Thank you for proving my point.

Mandy's dead weight, she's a succubus.

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