Watch the Skies Page #3

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I told you that.

Dad, I'm trying to talk to you

like an adult, and you just--

Don't want to listen!

That's right, so skedaddle.

Get up there and do your homework.

Are you serious? I f***ing hate it here.

I f***ing love it here!

That's my little princess.

That's my little angel, Chelsea.

I'm sorry I didn't get a chance

to introduce you guys.

How about some drinks?

Fresh horses for my men.

Yes, thank you.

Get in there, Frankfurter!

- Yeah.

- No.

Come on, Evaroo.

- No, thanks.

- You'll be bummed if you don't.

Can I interest anyone

in some finger foods?

I got to order some pies

up in this thing, right?

Okay, you know what? You guys got

your own thing going on there.

I am going to put up some fliers.

Come on, have one drink.

- No?

- I'll see you guys.

Okay. See you tomorrow night.

Same Bob time. Same Bob place.

Hey, fella! What are you doing?

There you are.

Excuse me?

I'm 1157 Jerome Park Drive.

Name's Paul. I just moved in.

Oh.

Oh, sorry. I'm Evan, hi.

Evan.

Evan Trautwig,

subscriber to Men's Fitness.

Oh, yeah, that's mine.

- Thank you.

- Not that you need it.

Excuse me?

You got the body of a decathlete, Evan.

And you got great skin.

You live here alone

in this big old house?

No, I live with my wife.

My female wife, Abby.

- I'm going to go inside now.

- Mmm.

All right, Evan Trautwig,

nice to meet you.

Stay fit.

Evan Trautwig!

Yeah.

It was really cute.

We all got our own puff paints...

and made these little

customized onesies.

Wow. So, you started another club.

No, it's not a club.

It's a task force of concerned citizens.

I went to the Spartan's game

and made a speech.

And the community

really responded.

Guess who peed

on an ovulation stick on the plane?

-You?

-Yep.

it's kind of faint,

but I think there's two pink lines.

Yeah? I can't tell.

Well, I think we should do it anyway.

- I would love to do it.

- Just to be safe.

Mmm. Mmm.

But I got to go meet the

Neighborhood Watch guys for a patrol.

Evan, you promised.

I know, but I also promised Antonio's

family that I would catch his killer.

- I made a vow.

- Okay, okay.

It's a great group of guys.

Really. I'm very excited.

Here we go.

Badass jackets for the Watch.

I went to the mall this morning

and I had them made up.

Get them while they're hot.

Let's do it.

Got your names on them.

All right, Bob, this is great.

What happened to my logo?

This is just like your initial logo,

only now it's awesome.

This has nothing to do

with my original logo.

My logo was an eye

that was watching over the neighborhood.

I don't know what this is.

A tiger with wings?

Exactly.

This is a tiger, who's fierce and sleek.

But it's got wings,

so it flies above the neighborhood.

And if it sees a domestic problem,

it kills it.

The other thing is,

your original one is here.

Got the eye

right there on the side.

It's always on the side.

That's weird, because

it's like an eye on the shoulder...

but there's a tiger on your back.

- Weird, how?

- What are we, the Flaming Tigers?

Because that's what it looks like.

We're the Flaming Flying Tigers.

It makes no sense.

Are you out of your mind?

This is inspiring for the Watch.

Whenever you have a tiger, flames

and wings, all on the same logo...

it's like the Chinese symbol for

"Shut the f*** up and dance!"

This is inspiring for the Watch.

I don't know.

What, are we in a doo-wop group?

Are we're going to stand over a

garbage can with fire and harmonize?

I would see this doo-wop group.

For your information,

doo-wop groups were known to close ass.

Singing was their hobby.

Closing ass was their job.

The baritone from Boyz ll Men

had to stop making music...

because he got so much p*ssy.

- Thank you.

- They're like ass collectors.

This is not about fashion.

This is about brotherhood.

This is about solidarity.

You should get that more than anybody.

He's actually right.

Pigs have uniforms.

I think we should have uniforms, too.

We have to match those f***ers

on every level.

You understand?

Every level.

Can I just say, Bob,

that these are the shits?

Just "the sh*t."

These are just sh*t.

Okay, you know what? Fine, I'll wear it.

But you have to promise me

that tonight...

we're actually going to do something.

Okay?

- Absolutely.

- For sure.

Gentlemen,

we're part of more than a club.

We're part of a way of life.

We're making a commitment to ourselves

and to the Watch today.

Get your hands in here, Evan.

Get that pretty hand in there.

On three, let me hear you singing out

with pride in your hearts.

Neighborhood Watch. One, two, three.

Neighborhood Watch.

Yeah, this is boring.

Franklin's right. We're not going to

sit here all night, are we?

Yeah, guys, we are, if we need to.

It's a stakeout.

I don't mean to sound childish,

but I do have to pee.

You should have peed earlier.

I'm sorry, as an adult,

you're just going to have to hold it.

- How are you doing, Jamarcus?

- Ready.

I still have to pee. The liquid comes in,

the liquid's got to come out.

I got to piss.

- Why don't you just pee in this?

- Oh, great.

That's a good idea.

Don't pee in that.

I'm mounting up to piss.

No, you're not going to pee in a can.

- Why not?

- No, Bob.

I'm not going to miss anything.

- I'm a good shot, I'm going to get it perfect.

- Open the door.

I've taken lots of road trips.

I've always done that sh*t.

No. Piss out the door.

And blow our stakeout position?

You're not going to pee in a can.

I'd never hear the end of it from you if

I blew our stakeout position.

There's no shot.

I got to mount up. I'm mounting up.

Okay, in we're going.

Oh, my God, we're going.

I've had to pee so bad for so long,

it's borderline sexual, Evaroo.

I'm not missing, either. Tell him.

It's incredibly controlled, Evan.

It's like he's threading a needle.

I know I'm okay because

I can feel the steel right around the tip.

I've got the mushroom pushed

right against the cold steel.

Bob, hit me with a beat.

Hit me with a stop and go.

Stop it.

Make it happen.

Stop it.

Make it happen.

Stop it. Make it happen.

You're killing it.

And we're done.

Well done.

Thank you. That was a good idea.

Would you be a pal and hold this for me?

Oh, come on! That's enough.

I'm busting your chain!

Hey, did I miss anything

while I was pissing?

Did we catch the killer?

Lighten up, big guy!

I'm glad you think this is so funny, Bob.

I'm glad you think this is a laugh riot,

okay?

Let's all have a laugh

while Antonio Guzman's killer

continues to roam free.

You know what? He's right.

That sicko's probably out there right now,

staring at us from a distance.

Beating the living sh*t out of his dick.

Reliving his sick fantasy.

What are you doing?

Popping 8 top

- No, you can't do that.

- Why not?

It's against the law, it's illegal.

You can't have open alcohol in a car.

The car's not moving.

There's not even a key in the ignition.

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