Watch the Skies Page #4

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Doesn't matter.

Franklin, you failed the police test.

Is this illegal?

It's definitely illegal.

But I also failed the boring test,

you know what I'm saying?

- I dig it.

- Hook me up.

I'm going to drink

this little, little cervezas.

All right, Jamarky-Mark?

Cannonball coming at you, coming in hot.

Evaroo, you want to hold off?

I don't blame you, you're driving.

Hey, to great times. And doing it right.

To criminality.

Evan, tasty cervezas.

Keep it low, guys. Seriously.

Put it low, put it between your knees.

Even lower.

I've been here many times, trust me.

Act like nothing's going on, you're fine.

F***ing guys.

Hello, officers.

Evening, gentlemen.

Are you doing a little cruising?

No, officers.

We're actually on...

Neighborhood Watch business.

Hide your bong, Chucho!

Neighborhood Watch is here.

Sergeant, do you remember me?

No.

Have I arrested you before?

I'm not so good with faces.

Not good with faces.

You're a cop. What do you mean

you're not good with faces?

I don't see the connection.

But what I have been seeing

are these babies.

How's it been going?

Good, actually. Very good.

Great.

We thought we'd start here at the Costco

and stake it out for a while.

Because as you know, most killers

return to the scene of the crime.

Oh, of course they do.

The killer always returns

to the scene of the crime.

So, fancy seeing you here, Trautwig.

At the scene of the crime.

I don't know what that means.

It means it's super-suspicious

that you're here right now.

And it makes me feel

like you have some secrets.

Well, I don't.

Anyhoo, when you fellas

finish playing Hardy Boys...

don't forget to pay this ticket

for those open alcohol containers.

And, this one is for putting up

What?

I'm sorry, guys.

You fellas have a safe night.

Hit it, Chucho.

God damn it!

I know he remembers me.

He's just messing with my head.

You can't drink in your car anymore?

What the hell is this country coming to?

Evan Trautwig.

Yes. Of course.

Noise complaint at the football field.

This is it, guys.

It's our first call.

Hell, yeah! Let's roll.

Let's do it.

Do you see anything?

Uh-uh.

- Hello?

- What the hell?

Turn off the lights!

Ahh!

I'm hit!

What the f*** is going on?

Robert,

we're getting ambushed!

What's happening?

We're getting egged.

It's raining egg!

We came to help!

Yolks on you, ass-wipes!

Yolks on me?

A f***ing pun!

I'm going to kill this kid.

I'm going to kill you.

God damn it!

They're getting away, Bob!

No, they're not.

Because one of us is the founder

of the Glenview Running Club!

Yeah, you f***ed him up, man!

Who's laughing now, kid?

I bet you didn't

egg-spect to get your ass kicked.

You throw eggs at people.

You think that's funny?

Look at how much pain he's in.

Guess what you learned tonight?

You don't mess with

the Neighborhood Watch, baby!

Undefeated!

Look at Evaroo with the high hands.

Sh*t, we got him!

La, da, da, da, dab

It's the motherfucking D-O-double-G

Snoop Dogg

La, da, da, da, dah

You know I'm mobbing with the D-H-E

Yeah, yeah, yeah

You know who's back up

in this moth erfuclrer

Motherf***er

A-ha!

That's right. Neighborhood Watch.

Suck a fat dick, Chucho.

What's going on here, guys?

Egging, Sergeant.

-This guy's an egger.

- Eggs, huh?

Yeah, eggs. The coward's weapon.

It's good you brought him in.

And then he tried to run away

on his little skitterboard.

Did you really? Hmm?

Get back to the playground,

and the monkey bars.

Do you think it's nice

to throw eggs at people?

Do you?

Answer the question.

It's rude.

It hurts people's feelings,

and it hurts their faces.

And now, you deal with the consequences.

Homegirl's trying to make an omelet.

- Look at me.

- Look at his face.

- Look at my face.

- Look at his face and listen to me.

Look at him and listen to me.

Look at him and understand me.

Look at both of us,

but understand no one.

Listen to my words

and hear his face.

Do you think it is funny

to throw an egg in somebody's face?

You think it's a yolk?

I'll shove a full egg inside your a**hole

and watch it hatch.

Franklin... Inappropriate.

I understand, that's too far. Sorry.

She's all yours.

Great work.

Here's your bag.

Well, that was super weird.

Am I under arrest?

Of course not. Those guys are a joke.

Can one of you guys

give me a ride home or something?

F***, no.

I'm not a chauffeur,

and neither is Chucho over here.

Right, buddy?

Get out of here.

Real nice.

Hello?

Okay. Really hilarious.

Quit screwing around

or I'm going to pelt somebody.

Screw you. I'm out of here.

Leave me alone!

Just leave me alone!

We are f***ing gods!

What did she say, Evan?

You ain't seen nothing yet

Come back again.

B-b-baby, you just

ain't seen nothing yet

Tell me about it.

What?

B-b-baby, you just

ain't seen nothing yet

Damn right. You been around!

All the way from London, England.

Put your hands together.

Make him feel welcome, everybody.

Now this is Jamarky-Mark.

He said that

any lave is good lave

Here we go.

So I took what I could get

Yes, I took what I could get

And then she loakedat me

with those big, brown eyes

Oh, sh*t!

ls everyone all right?

Are you guys okay?

We hit someone.

What?

Was it a kid? Evan, did you hit a kid?

No. What?

Why did you take your eyes

off the road to sing?

There's beer and piss all over the car.

Everyone just stay calm for a second.

Let's focus,just relax.

We can't calm down.

There's open alcohol, we're inebriated.

I have weed in my pocket.

Evan could get 15 years to life for this.

What?

Don't worry about that.

This can't happen to me.

Here's what we do, we focus on the living.

Just drive us out of here.

I'm not going to drive away.

I'm going to see what it is.

Evan?

What is it?

It looks like you just hit

some freakishly big fly or something.

What the f*** is this thing?

It looks like an octopus tentacle

or something.

All right, I think it's very obvious

what happened here, guys.

It doesn't take a brain surgeon

to figure this one out.

Evan accidently, obviously, hit a crate

that fell off the back of a truck...

that just so happened to be carrying

some freshly caught octopus...

to a nearby sushi establishment.

It's octopus and a fresh one.

You got nothing but the thing

and the octopus and this...

and I think we pack it in

and we know what happened.

Okay. Worst-case scenario.

Evan murdered a Japanese man

who was eating octopus

-while crossing the street.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Come on. I did not murder anybody.

It doesn't matter. Do you know why?

Because no one's going to

say sh*t about this to anybody.

Because we don't dime on our

fellow Neighborhood Watchers, okay?

Wait a second,

I've seen this stuff before.

Back at Costco,

this was the stuff by Antonio's body.

Had he just won a

Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice award?

Franklin, he was dead.

So, he wasn't eligible.

That's pretty amazing, then, that he won.

Because, usually you have to do

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