Watch the Skies Page #5

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some sort of...

kids-type thing to win that award.

It feels like cum.

'UV

I dare anyone to touch it

and tell me it doesn't feel like cum.

May I?

Yeah, that's cum.

Well, it's green.

It's not cum, it feels like cum.

The texture, the flavor,

the color, the consistency.

It's very cum-like.

Hey, guys, check this out.

I found something.

What is it?

I don't know.

It looks like a big,

silver basketball or something.

What is it?

It looks like a toy.

What the f*** is that?

What is going on up here?

We got company.

What in the hell

are you people doing in my yard?

Hi. Sorry, we're the Neighborhood Watch.

We're just out on a nightly patrol.

How are you doing? I'm Evan Trautwig.

I got your neighborhood watch

right here, sweet lips.

We're on your side, sir.

We're just wondering

if you heard anything strange...

or just anything

out of the ordinary tonight.

You mean like four nitwits...

standing around on my lawn

in the middle of the night?

That's kind of strange, don't you think?

If being overly aggressive

and a little bit snippy was a crime...

I'd be making

a citizen's arrest right now.

Why don't you just shut

your cocksucker there, dickweed?

We're taking time out of our

busy schedules to help the neighborhood...

so, I think you could just--

Excuse me. I got a phone call, here.

- Hey, Bill.

-"Bill."

I got four members of

the Baby-sitters Club up here...

it's the Neighborhood Watch.

...trying to solve some kind of mystery

before beddy-bye time.

I'll call you back later.

It's okay, sir, we get it. Thank you.

You guys, I'm going to count to ten.

You know what? Let's start again.

I'm going to count to ten!

He wants to count.

Steal that cool ball.

Two. Three.

- Nice to meet you.

- F*** you, Curly.

Four.

Get in your goddamn

soccer mom van and move on out.

Neighborhood Watch, what a f***ing joke.

Look at this.

Every time I stick a finger in,

another light goes off.

That's weird.

Why don't we try to stick all our fingers in

at the same time and see what happens?

All right, guys,

let's all finger these holes together.

This is a bad idea.

Don't be such a p*ssy, Jamarcus.

Come on.

Come over here

and finger-bang this ball with us.

I don't like this.

Come on, Jamarcus.

Fine, but this is a bad idea.

Get your finger in there.

Whoa!

Jesus!

Holy sh*t! Are you kidding me?

Did you see that sh*t?

That cow's f***ing head exploded.

That's terrible for the cow

but this thing's f***ing awesome.

This is a major find.

This thing is the sh*t!

Okay, nobody touches this ball

until we figure out what it is.

We definitely should not

f*** around with this thing.

The last thing we want to do

is cause a disturbance.

Goodbye, tractor!

Yeah!

Hay, yeah! Hay, now!

Hey, great.

That's hilarious, that was so fun.

We blew that sh*t up.

That cow's f***ing head

just poof ed, just puffed.

Guys, this is not from this world.

I think it could be the government.

There are lots of these

kind of prototypes that you find.

It's always the government.

I don't disagree

that there could be a government...

or an alien or where

governments and aliens connect.

Get the f*** out of here, man.

They're not aliens.

-I think you're paranoid.

- I'm not paranoid.

Everything's on the table.

It was probably on the way to the

Mac Store and fell off the truck.

This is like a magical 8-Ball,

bowling ball that blows sh*t up.

I'm trying to find a killer, here.

Right. A killer alien.

Somebody killed Antonio, okay?

I don't know if they're an alien.

I don't know if it was an octopus.

I don't know what it was...

or who it was, but this

has something to do with it, right?

Yes. That's a yes.

We don't know what it is.

That's a correct as well.

It's the same goo

that was on Antonio's body.

This is information you're sharing

and I'll say "yes" to it.

The goo was on the car.

- The orb was near the car.

- Let's call her Lucy.

The second after we find...

Lucy...

who kicks us off his property?

Crazy old guy with a shotgun.

Why did he want us off his property?

Why did he not want

us near the ball or the goo?

We have got to kick his tires.

There's something we have to figure out.

I think we dress Franklin up as a girl

named Francesca.

He goes to the door as a salesman

because they'll suspect him any other way.

- He's pretty enough.

- I'm listening.

He's an attractive guy and he has

the features where he can fool them.

Feminine features.

We put Franklin in a costume

to befriend the old man.

He lets Franklin in the house.

Boom, he's in!

Now it's intel, he's under the radar.

It's an attractive lady showing up.

His liver-spotted hands

are going to want to caress her.

Can I tell you something, Bob?

Mmm?

That could work.

Yes!

- Here's the thing.

- Finally!

I'm not going to go past second

with this old guy...

but if I have to, I will.

I think it's important

we get really confirmed...

on what you're prepared to do,

so it's not a new thing.

I will use both hands.

I won't use a mouth.

He may use his hands

and may not use his mouth.

I think you got to make it all go down

before you get found out.

- What's the best case on this one?

- Here's the best case scenario.

He's a lonely old man,

he wants to waltz.

He wants to listen to some

of the old songs from his childhood.

Worst case scenario,

you're getting f***ed in the ass.

Either way, we're going to find out

who this old guy is.

Either way, we're going

to get involved in this guy's life.

Here's the pressing question.

What do we do with this?

We don't give it to the cops.

Agreed.

This is ours, no one hears about it.

We keep it a Neighborhood Watch secret.

- Cheers.

- We're in the game.

- To the Watch.

- Boom!

Ew.

"OMG, Mandy's party is so awesome."

Good for Mandy.

Fricking kidding me, right?

Chelsea!

Dad, what the eff!

Don't "eff" me.

Who's this boy toy named Jason?

Boy 110??

What's his toy story?

Wait, were you creeping

on my Facebook again?

Are you kidding me?

You're going to let some guy

carwash the inside of your mouth...

with his tongue, and then

you're going to post it on the Internet?

Stop Internet-stalking me, okay?

Just get out of my room.

You don't see me and your mom

posting our sessions on the Internet?

Ew! That's disgusting!

How do you think that makes me feel?

It is disgusting.

You keep your tongue in your mouth.

And what's going on with this collage?

This is moving in the direction of

strippers on spring break.

That's a collage of my friends, Dad.

The whole thing is uncomfortable.

I'm not comfortable

with what's going on, Chelsea.

If you're uncomfortable, then get out!

Sex is for love.

"Sex is for love."

Here's what's happening now,

the video is off.

Okay, Dad, I'm going

to get the video off.

- We got a problem.

- Okay, please, get out.

Houston, we have a problem.

That's good.

Really productive conversation.

We should do more of it.

Right on the edge.

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