We Were Here Page #6

He and his lover.

I had introduced

he an his lover...

George, and then

they moved to rhode island...

Where george was from...

And then when peter

started getting sick...

They moved back

to san francisco...

'Cause care was better...

And their core group

of friends was here...

And peter was getting

sicker and sicker...

And they told him,

you know...

You have, like,

four or five days to live...

And he was just

in so much discomfort.

That he decided

to take his own life.

So we, you know,

we got together all the drugs...

And the cocktail

that was gonna kill him...

And we had a party.

At his house.

He was in bed.

Sort of like a...

Like a queen holding court.

And we each got to go up

and say our goodbyes.

And I remember him saying...

"You know,

when I was single...

"You were married...

"And when I was married,

you were single.

"Did you think if we'd both

been single at the same time...

We would have been partners?"

And I said, "yeah.

I know we would have been. "

And then he gave me one

of the most passionate kisses.

I've ever had in my life.

And then we all went away.

- I was the charge nurse

in the medical clinic...

And we were starting

the first a. Z.T. Trials...

And dr. Jay had come on

to help that...

And he looked at me one day...

And he said,

"i think we can do this. "

We can do clinical research.

And so we started.

The quest clinical research

center together.

You know, both of us

had never done research.

We just kind of did it,

you know?

Back then there weren't

as many, um, regulations.

The reason that you wanted

to do research back then.

Was because there was nothing...

And all you were doing

was helping people die...

And you just felt like you had

to work on these trials.

And, you know,

figure out what was working...

Figure out

what the problems were.

And get these drugs approved.

So that everybody

could have 'em.

By doing this

and working really hard.

And getting these drugs

on the market...

You know,

maybe we could save lives.

In the early days...

I would go to people's houses.

They were too sick to come in

to get their medicine...

I'd go to their house.

I'd draw their blood.

They would come in

very educated...

Wanting the newest treatment.

Sometimes they would know

more than I did...

'Cause they had, you know,

researched so much.

And, um,

i would learn from them.

There was really

a camaraderie there.

You know, of course,

you know, we made mistakes.

When, you know, when we first

started the azt trials...

We were giving way too much,

you know.

That's why people

got so sick on it...

And it got a bad rap.

If you ever

come to our office...

We have this picture

of this guy.

Who is almost

like a skeleton...

And he's holding a sign...

"Man can't live on azt alone,"

And every time

i see that picture...

It brings me back

to those days of...

We need more treatments.

We need more than azt.

And... And we need them

to happen quickly.

- I remember one fellow

particularly said to me...

"You know, I'm at the end

of my chemical rope,"

Um, and I thought,

"boy, what a phrase from our...

You know,

from this time. "

- These doctors were coming up.

With every kind of pill

that you should take.

It seemed like every day they

were coming up with a new cure...

But my friends

were guinea pigs...

And those cures didn't work...

And they were still dying,

and they were still dying...

And not even just my friends,

my relatives.

You know, my... My cousin,

he died of aids, you know?

And it was, like, the whole

family kept it, you know...

Zips the lip.

Nobody wanted to say

that people were gay, you know...

And we didn't speak about it.

We just said romeo was sick.

And, um...

He just succumbed to...

...aids...

And he died.

Very quietly.

- I think my biggest fears

around getting sick.

Was... Blindness.

There was a lot,

in the early days of aids...

Of C.M.V., cytomegalovirus...

Which attack the eyes...

And people were

losing their eyesight.

In a short period of time.

And...

...you know, I could deal with pain...

Or they could, you know...

They could manage pain

and all that...

But the idea

of losing my eyesight.

Was really... I think it really,

really scared me.

- We worked on this trial.

For cmv retinitis.

It affected,

infected people's eyes.

We wanted to do research...

So we would ask them if we could

take their eyes when they died.

And...

...you know, that was a hard

conversation to have...

But people were into it.

They were going,

"this awful thing is happening...

"And, you know, if I can give

my eyes to advance this...

I'm willing to do that. "

Any time anybody is ill...

You're meeting them at a very

vulnerable place in their life...

And these relationships can grow

very intensely very quickly...

So it was my job to go

into the autopsy room...

Um, when the pathologist

would come and remove the eyes...

And, uh, I would have

to put them in this little...

Like, urine container...

And then put them

in a paper bag...

And take them to the lab.

And that was really,

really hard.

I mean, these were people

i really knew...

And, uh, loved, liked,

whatever you want to say...

And it was really hard

to, um, watch this.

And something that

I'll never forget, actually.

But one of my patients'

sisters really helped me.

Because she said to me

something like...

"It makes me feel better.

"To know that you're

gonna be with him.

"When this is happening...

"That I was there

to watch over these people...

"And make sure

they were treated with respect...

And that their body

was handled with love,"

And I just was so grateful

for her to give me that job.

- How deeply are americans

worried about aids?

Alos angeles timespoll.

Found that 50% of americans.

Favor quarantine

for aids victims.

48% said they should be

issued special identification.

15% said aids victims

should be tattooed.

We were preoccupied

for those first four years.

With extraordinary

civil rights attacks.

In 1986 in california...

There was an initiative on

the ballot by lyndon larouche...

And it was an initiative

to enforce the quarantine laws.

Relative to hiv in california.

And it was... It was written

in such a way to sound medical...

But the intent as interpreted

by the queer community.

And everyone else was.

This is to stigmatize people

with hiv aids...

And could go so far

as to have them.

Be quarantined

under doctor's orders.

And when that ballot initiative

first was put forward...

Um, it was

overwhelmingly favored.

It was overwhelmingly favored.

And a statewide

campaign formed...

And we organized

throughout california.

To defeat the initiative,

and defeated it.

And it came again

two years later.

It was put forward

a second time.

Um, in... In '88.

And simultaneously,

there were laws that were...

That was people could be fired

for being hiv positive.

People could be

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