Weather Girl Page #6

[Sighing]

Okay, there's--

Whoa, uh.

- Oh.

- Hmm.

- Oh, no.

- That looks really

uncomfortable.

- We can go back in there.

- Okay.

- Let me take this off.

[Cabinet thuds]

[Objects clattering]

When did I start wanting you?

- My guess is that you probably

always wanted me

And that you just forgot.

- I don't really think so.

- It's just at theory, really.

Yeah, there.

Unbutton, unbutton.

- I can't.

Help me.

- There.

- Oh, wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

- Wait, what?

- Don't tell Walt, okay?

- What?

- Oh, seriously,

that's another condition.

You can't tell Walt.

- What are you talking about?

You want me to lie

to my best friend?

I can't, no, come on.

- What?

No, I'm lying to my brother.

- Totally, totally

not the same thing at all.

No, no, I'm sorry.

I can't do that.

I'm sorry.

- Okay.

- What?

- Okay.

That's a shame.

- Yeah.

This could have been fun.

- Could have.

- Probably would have been.

- I think so, yeah.

- [Sighs]

Well, uh, I hope things

don't get weird after this.

- Well, nothing happened,

so...

- yeah, I'm sure.

Yeah, except that,

but whatever.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, sweet dreams.

- Okay.

- Not telling him

isn't necessarily lying.

- It's like an omission.

- Totally different thing.

- Totally different.

- Come here.

- dit, dit, ditty

now hit and run

you can dit, dit, ditty

until I'm done

come along dit, ditty

till the boy's

a broken thing

- Oh, my God.

Okay, you two ready?

- Yeah.

- I think I'll have the--

- It's you.

Arthur, it's her.

- Her who?

- Her, sassy weather girl,

right?

It's you, isn't it?

Sylvia, what is it?

Velasquez?

- Uh, no.

My name is Margot.

- Ah.

Name tag says, "Sylvia."

[Laughter]

- You are so busted.

- Sorry.

Oh, this is what

you're doing now, huh?

That is really sad.

- So what can I get you folks?

- You couldn't get a job

anywhere else?

- Well, it's not like there

aren't a million people

Who can read the weather section

And then ramble on about it

on some morning show.

- Arthur.

- I mean, come on.

It's not exactly hard-hitting

journalism or anything.

- Well...sorry.

- Damn it.

- I am so sorry.

- You did that on purpose.

- Oh, no,

I did not do that on--

I am hurt by that accusation.

- No, you're sassy.

Duh, everybody says so,

And that was a very sassy thing

for you to do.

- You know, why don't I just get

you guys a new server?

- Yeah, why don't you?

- Great, sassy.

Unbelievable.

- Oh, smoking.

- Oh.

- Oh, whatever.

Do over.

Do over.

- Advantage, Byron.

- It's just--

It's a flick of the wrist.

- Down in front.

- It's a flick of the wrist,

and it's just--

- Oh, it's a save.

- See that's--

And that's what happens.

- You know what?

- That's what happens

when you don't practice.

That's what happens

when you don't practice.

- Point.

- Serve.

- Serve it.

- Oh, just lob it up there

for me.

- Just shove it down

your throat.

- A little side...

um, hey, I'm--

I'm just gonna--

I'm gonna be right back.

Keep working on it, though.

- Yeah, knock yourself out.

Service.

[Video game chimes]

Point.

Point.

[Dishes clattering]

- Excuse me.

Okay, what do we have here?

Okay, guys, wait,

table 21.

We still need the soup.

- Yeah, bonita.

Te amo.

- Sylvia, quiero hacerte

el amor todo el dia.

- No, hombre, necesita

un hombre como yo.

- Para eso me tiene a mi.

Verdad, mi amor?

Va a ser mio ese culi--

- Okay, give me my soup.

- Ay, quiere su sopa...

cremosa, cremosa.

- Oh, my God.

[Laughter]

The kitchen staff hates me.

- Of course they do.

- I'm sure they don't hate you.

- They probably do.

- They talk dirty to me

in spanish.

- Oh, yeah?

Is it hot?

Wait, no.

I don't want to know.

- But don't you speak spanish?

- I don't want them

to know that.

- Why not?

- 'Cause then they'll want

to talk all the time.

- No.

Yeah.

- Snob.

- I am a snob.

- No.

You're a work in progress.

- Think I can be a secret agent?

Both:
no.

- Yeah.

- Sorry.

Hey, guys, table 12's still

waiting on their chicken.

- AquI tengo tu pollo, guerita.

- Okay.

Donde diablos esta mI pollo?

[Laughter]

A semester in college.

- Habla espaol, la guerita.

- It's not bad, right?

- It's okay.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Hi.

We got to hurry up.

Walt's coming home

in a half hour.

- [Scoffs]

Have you noticed

how much sex we're having?

- Is that a problem?

- No, of course not.

I love sex.

I'm glad that you love sex

as much as I love sex

Because i, certainly, I do.

I love sex.

- Well, let's look at it

objectively.

I have a shitty job.

Mooch off my brother.

I have no place

to call my own.

Pretty much, my life sucks.

So sex is the only thing

I have to look forward to.

It's pretty much the only thing

good in my life.

- Wow.

- Yeah, right?

Too bad it's with

an emotionally unavailable,

Financially devoid,

peter pan syndrome,

Rock star wannabe

- Ouch.

- Yeah, but the sex

is really good.

- That is true.

[Keys jingling]

- Oh, what the f***!

[Screams]

oh, f***!

What?

Oh!

F***!

That's my sister, man!

Come on,

what the hell are you--

Oh, oh, come on.

That's my--I'm f***ing blind.

I'm f***ing--I'm just--

I'm blind.

I'm blind.

I'm gonna have that image

burned into my brain for life.

What are you--

This is my living room!

I live in this room!

What's--Ah.

We--Oh!

F***!

So how long has this

been going on?

- A while.

- Not long.

- I see.

And you didn't feel this was

pertinent information to share?

- What I do is none

of your business, Walt.

- Interesting.

Because that was my bed

that you were fornicating on,

And that was my friend

with which you were fornicating.

Huh.

- Look, Walt.

I am sorry

that I didn't tell you, man.

I'm sorry.

- I am so not even

talking to you yet.

Look, Byron's my friend,

And now the only reason

he comes over here

Is to see you.

- That is not true.

- Hey, the big kids are talking.

I don't know if you've noticed,

But I don't really have

an abundance of friends.

All right, so if you f*** up

my only friendship,

I'm going to be pissed.

- No friendships are getting

ruined, okay?

It's not like that.

- And you, what exactly are your

intentions toward my sister?

'Cause if you haven't noticed,

She's kind of

in a vulnerable place.

- Oh, my God, Walt.

- Okay, my intentions

are honorable.

- There are no intentions.

We're just messing around.

There is no commitment,

no emotions.

We're just two friends

who are sleeping together.

- [Clears throat]

Right.

- Yeah, that always works.

Good luck with that.

- Paul.

Juan.

Ah, Sylvia.

- Putos impuestos.

La pinche miseria que me pagas,

y luego me quitas la mitad?

Vayanse al pinche diablo.

- What did he say?

- Uh, he's just upset

about the taxes.

- Yeah, well,

that's the price you pay

For living in the best damn

country in the world, amigo.

- Eres una rata sucia,

hija de la chingada.

- What?

What is he saying?

- Son of a b*tch.

What?

I can't live off of this.

- Well, maybe you should pick up

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