Wedding Crashers Page #2

to catch 'em?

Grab that net and catch that

beautiful butterfly, pal!

What do you like better?

Christmas or wedding season?

- Mr. Grey.

- Yes, um, the answer would be, um...

- wedding season?

- Bingo.

I'm gonna go get my suit.

Oh, now who are we this time?

Hey, Lou Epstein, I want you to meet

a real mensch, Chuck Schwartz.

Oh, stop.

And as we carry on the tradition

of thousands of years,

we honor the eternal bond

that stretches

through the ages.

I have known this couple

for many years.

Deborah I've actually known

for her entire life.

I was at her house when her parents

brought her home from the hospital,

and I was there the day she graduated

from medical school.

Josh I have known

since his bar mitzvah,

which those of you

who were there

know it was not

a very pretty sight.

But he has pulled himself

together nicely,

and he's grown into a remarkable

young man himself.

- Okay.

- He never got the courage

to ask her out, until 10 years later.

Josh was in the emergency room,

and he saw Debra again

- and he said to himself...

- Hi.

"Wait! That's the girl

I'm going to marry!"

I now pronounce you

man and wife.

Mazel tov!

Mazel tov, baby! From my family

to yours, mazel tov. Beautiful.

Hava nagila

Hava nagila

Hava nagila,

ba ba ba!

Oh my.

You sly son of a b*tch.

Nagila, hava nagila

ve'nismecha

Hava nagila, hava...

Does anyone know what

this here is used for?

- Rolling a fatty.

- No, not...

not for...

where'd you learn that?

You want to get

a whole combination.

You gotta get the frostings in the middle

and on the other end.

- Ba-ba ba ba

- That's it, that's it, that's it,

that's it! Come on!

You both look beautiful

up there today,

particularly Debbie in that white

dress. Enjoy it. After tomorrow,

I don't think you're gonna be able to get

away with wearing a white dress.

Here, I'll just pick this off,

I'll go grab

another piece. That's it.

- Ooh!

- Whoa.

In the words of the old country...

- L'chaim!

- L'chaim!

Come here!

I want you to take this note,

bring it to that blonde girl.

Hurry, 'cause I'm

gonna time you. Go!

Hi.

Who gave this to you?

You know, I saw you

at the wedding.

- And?

- You were crying.

Oh, sh*t. You weren't

supposed to see that.

Now you probably think

I'm a big p*ssy.

No, you were so sweet.

Come here.

Look, I knew I was never gonna be

a professional bullfighter,

- but that's not why I did it.

- Weren't you scared?

Can I say yes?

- Sanjay Collins.

- Chuck Vindaloo,

excited to be here.

- Shamus O'Toole.

- Bobby O'Shea.

- And we're gonna get drunk.

- Ha-ha!

Keep it comin', love,

keep it comin', love...

- Who is that?

- Uh, him.

Uh, I think that's his kid Leonard.

The diabetic.

- Who is that?

- That's Luigi and Gina's

son Christopher.

You know, the banker.

Oh, that's Mae Lin's adopted son Benny,

the veterinarian.

The French Foreign Legion?

Yeah. We lost a lot

of good men out there.

Wow, really? Mount Everest?

I just don't like to talk about it

because we lost

so many good men out there.

Oh!

Lost so many

good men out there.

Playing with the Yankees?

Yes, with the Yankees.

You lose good men

to trades and unruly fans.

L... look, I don't want

to talk about it, I'm sorry.

It's just a matter

of trying to get it down.

Tattoo on the lower back.

Might as well be a bull's-eye.

You know how they say

we only use 10% of our brains?

- Mmm.

- I think we only use 10% of our hearts.

I feel so tiny in your arms.

Really?

How tall are you?

I'm 6'5", but...

I feel like I'm four feet.

And some poetry,

courtesy of Sarah McLachlan.

You've been

so good to me

You know you

make me wanna shout

Kick my

heels up and shout

Throw my head

back and shout!

- Kick my heels up and shout!

- Yeah!

- Come on now, take it easy

- Shout! Shout!

- Take it easy! Shout!

- Hey-ay-ay-ay!

Hey-ay-ay-ay!

Hey-ay-

ay-ay!

Hey-ay-ay-ay!

Hey-ay-

ay-ay!

Hey-ay-ay-ay!

Hey-ay-

ay-ay!

- Hey-ay-ay-ay!

- All right

- Shout! Shout!

- All right

- Shout! Shout! Shout!

- All right! All right!

- The bride!

- Now, wait a minute...

All right let's go,

let's go, let's make a memory!

What are you gonna do for an encore?

Walk on water?

Great guy.

He brung me along, too.

Jesus. Come on! Get in there.

You can do it!

You want that cake!

You don't treat cake like that.

- You gotta treat cake like a lady.

- Give her a kiss. Look at that.

Oh my God,

in front of all of 'em!

Ba ba ba.

Ah-ha-ha! Oh-ho!

And then everyone

said, "Jabroni!"

Jabroni!

This f***ing guy, unbelievable!

Hop in.

Now spread it around

on each other.

We need a picture of this.

They're crazy!

Bacio! Bacio!

Time to party!

Time to party!

Come on, we need a picture.

Get a picture.

You've been so good to me

You know you make me

want to shout!

Lift my heels up

and shout!

Throw my head

back and shout!

Kick my heels up and shout!

Come on now!

Hey-ay-ay-ay!

Hey-ay-

ay-ay!

Hey-ay-ay-ay!

Hey-ay-

ay-ay!

- Hey-ay-ay-ay!

- Ooh.

- Hot.

- Hey-ay-ay-ay!

Hey-ay-ay-ay!

Shout now!

Jump up and shout now!

Jump up

and shout now!

Jump up and shout now

Jump up

and shout now

Jump up and shout now

Everybody shout now,

everybody shout now

Everybody shout shout shout

shout shout shout shout

Shout shout shout

shout shout shout

Shout shout shout shout

shout shout shout shout

Shout shout shout,

oh, shout

Whoa! Shout!

Oh! Shout shout

shout shout!

Shout shout shout shout

Shout shout shout shout

shout shout shout shout

Shout shout shout

shout shout shout shout

Oh! Shout!

Come on, come on and shout!

Shout shout shout shout

shout shout shout shout

Shout shout shout

shout shout shout shout

Shout shout shout shout

shout shout shout shout

Shout shout shout

shout shout shout!

Oh, no no.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Sarah, I feel like

I don't even know you.

It's Vivian.

Would you say you're completely

full of sh*t or just 50%?

I hope just 50,

but who knows?

Ah.

Bet that blonde was

a real shot of life.

Yeah, real shot.

You don't think we're being...

I don't want to say sleazy,

'cause that's not the right word,

but a little irresponsible, maybe?

No!

One day, you'll look back

on all this and laugh,

say we were

young and stupid.

Yeah.

A couple of dumb kids

running around.

We're not that young.

Hell of a season, pal.

Hell of a season.

Oh! Baba ganoush.

What do we got?

Christmas come early.

- Secretary Cleary?

- The Secretary of the Treasury.

The guy you loved since business school.

Don't thank me.

I don't know.

I mean, I thought the season was over.

I was looking forward to kinda

taking a break for a little bit.

John, what are you

talking about?

This is the Kentucky Derby

of weddings.

It's the Clearys.

They're an American institution.

Pal, there's gonna be

over 200 single women at this wedding.

Not to mention, if you look here,

they've got three live bands,

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