Weekend Page #7

like, you know, just

to Jamie's or...

or to Tesco's or to work. It...

It kind of...

It's hard to explain,

but it... (Chuckles)

...it kind of feels like

I've got indigestion.

It actually feels exactly

like indigestion.

And...

it just makes me angry,

you know, that I feel

like that because...

because it's so

f***ing pathetic.

You know, I'm a grown man,

and I look at you, and...

and I see you and you can

do it and you're amazing.

I just don't understand

why I can't.

(Glen) You know your log thing?

(Russell) Yeah.

You're right about

people coming out

and what their parents

say and stuff.

Yeah?

I just wondered why.

Erm...

it interests me.

It's like, erm...

everyone's got their story,

haven't they, it's like a...

gay rite of passage.

But you don't.

I suppose, yeah.

That's what I thought.

Do you ever think about

finding your parents?

No. Not really.

Why not?

Er...

I don't really see the point.

You know, I don't think

it would change anything.

Why don't I...

pretend to be your dad...

(Chuckles) ...and you

can come out to me?

That is so weird.

Just ignore the fact

we just had sex.

I don't think I can ignore

the fact we just had sex.

Try.

OK.

Dad?

I've got something that

I need to tell you.

What's that?

I'm gay.

(Glen) Hmm.

I like guys, not girls.

(Glen exhales)

Well.

You know what, son?

It doesn't matter to me.

I love you just the same.

And guess what?

What?

I couldn't be more proud of you

than if you were the

first man on the moon.

Good morning.

- I made you coffee.

- Thanks.

So what you doing today?

Erm...

I've got to go over to

Jamie's house, erm...

there's a party, it's my

goddaughter's birthday, so...

- You're a godfather?

- Yeah.

You're not religious, are you?

No. They just asked me.

That's very nice, thank you.

Erm...

What time's your train today?

Why?

No reason.

Are you going to come and sing

to me, or beg me to stay?

No, I don't think so, no.

It's about...

- Glen...

- Shhh.

(Dog barking, birds chirping)

(Dog barking)

- Hiya!

- Hiya.

- You made it, I'm made up.

(Children chattering)

- Are you all right?

- Yeah, yeah.

Come in, then.

- You stink of booze!

- Do I?

- Yeah.

- Sorry.

- Did you have a session last night?

- Didn't Jamie say anything to you?

- No. (Jamie) Who wants

to play Twister?

Right, look who's here, everyone!

Look who's here!

Hey, all right, mate?

- Hiya, mate.

- All right?

Yeah, yeah.

Where's the girl, then?

Lois, look!

Hey! Gaps! All right, missus?

Happy birthday to you

- Go on, take it, then.

- What do you say?

(Man) If the Commando stands at

(Cathy) Oh, it's too complicated,

let's do it again.

(Man)...

has to count either 1 to 10 or...

(Laughter)

(Jamie) All right, that's it,

I'm not playing. (Laughter)

All right, well, come on...

(Man) What do you call a girl that

sits in the middle of a tennis court?

(Lois) I don't know.

- Annette. (Laughter, groans)

(Jamie) I've got one, I've got one,

I've got one. What goes "Ooh"?

- A cow with no lips. (Laughter)

(Party chatter continues)

What's going on?

Nothing.

Nothing's going on.

Well, there obviously is.

Are you going to tell me about it or what?

(Sighs)

No. I feel... It feels weird talking

to you about it, I don't know. Sorry.

Weird?

We're best mates, we talk about

all kinds of stuff. Come on.

Yeah, but we don't talk about this kind

of stuff, do we, that's not what we do.

I've never spoken to you

about this kind of stuff.

Yeah, I know.

I don't know, Jamie, I

don't know, it's...

it's stupid really.

I mean...

this guy I've met,

Glen, you know,

I met him two days ago, he doesn't

know me, I don't know him,

and he...

I met him, like, two days

ago, two days is nothing.

I don't know, I just feel a

bit of a twat, that's all.

I think it's just cos I'm hung over

and tired and he's going away and...

Well, you'll be able to see him

when he gets back, won't you?

No, no, I won't, because

he's not coming back.

He's moving to America, so...

that's it.

Well, what time's he leaving?

Doesn't matter.

No, come on, what

time's he leaving?

I can run you in the car.

What about the cake?

Don't worry about

the f***ing cake.

- Cathy will go nuts.

- So?

Lois is going to want

you around, isn't she?

I want to be here for Lois,

it's my goddaughter's birthday.

I'll be half an hour.

Come on, I'll run

you in the car.

(Echoing train announcements)

(Woman over PA) 24-hour CCTV recording

is in operation at this station.

- I f***ing knew you'd come.

(Laughs) Did you?

Such a goddamn romantic.

Looks like it, eh?

So is this our

Notting Hill moment?

You know, I've never

seen it, ever.

Neither have I, but I imagine

there's a declaration of love

- and everybody applauds.

(Laughs) Yeah!

Do you reckon that's what

would happen with us?

Might do. Could give it a go.

They'd either clap or

throw us under a train.

(Russell) I'm...

(Woman) 24-hour CCTV recording

is in operation at this station.

I want you to know I'm not

here to stop you from going.

- Please be quiet. Shut up!

- No, no, no.

I just want to...

I just want to...

I just want you to know that...

(Glen, sighing) Oh, f***.

You're a bastard for coming down here.

F*** me.

(Glen sighs)

(Glen sobbing)

I don't know what

the f*** I'm doing.

You'll be great.

- You'll have the most amazing time.

(Sighs) F***'s sake.

F***.

(Wolf-whistle)

(Boy) F***ing gay boys!

(2nd boy) Gay boys!

I've got something for you.

Ignore them.

I couldn't remember

your surname.

(Train announcement)

Right, I've got to go.

(Russell on tape) Erm...

I... I don't know.

I can hardly remember anything.

(Glen) Just start from the

beginning, when you first saw me.

(John Grant:
Marz)

Bittersweet strawberry,

marshmallow, butterscotch

Polar bear, cashew, dixieland,

phosphate, chocolate

Lime, tuttifrutti, special

raspberry, leave it to me

Three grace, Scotch lassie,

cherry smash, lemon freeze

I wanna go to Marz

Where green rivers flow

And your sweet sixteen is

waiting for you after the show

I wanna go to Marz

You'll meet the Gold

Dust Twins tonight

You'll get your heart's desire

I will meet you

under the lights

Golden champagne, juicy

grapefruit, lucky Monday

High-school football, hot

fudge, Buffalo, tulip sundae

Almond caramel frapp,

pineapple, root beer

Black and white, Big Apple, Henry

Ford, sweetheart, maple tear

I wanna go to Marz

Where green rivers flow

And your sweet sixteen is

waiting for you after the show

I wanna go to Marz

You'll meet the Gold

Dust Twins tonight

You'll get your heart's desire

I will meet you

under the lights...

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