Weird Science Page #5

like big sisters,

like, kind of.

But she's

so beautiful.

Yeah, she's

really beautiful.

And her body is...

it's gorgeous.

It's a nice figure.

So...

I mean, what would I be compared to her?

Deb, Lisa is everything

I ever wanted in a girl...

before I knew

what I wanted.

I know that if

I could do it again,

I'd make her

just like you.

Honest.

Dead honest.

I'm like... I'm really honest

when I say that.

I'm so very honest.

I mean that.

What the hell?

Ucch.!

That little bastard.

If my room's okay,

I won't kill him.

I'll just hurt him

real bad.

Freeze.

Chet!

Where's my brother?

Ow.

Uh...

I don't know.

You're dead meat,

pilgrim.

Uh...

Chet, Chet,

that's her nose.

She has nothing

to do with it.

Okay. You die.

She walks out of here

with a severe limp.

I'll be back.

That's Wyatt's

older brother, Chet.

He's an a**hole.

Oh, hi, Chet.

What the hell's

going on around here?

Chet, it was

an accident.

An accident?

Do you realize

it's snowing in my room,

goddamn it?

Some weird sh*t

happened, Chet.

It doesn't take a genius

to figure that out,

monkey dick.

Start talking.

Gary and I made a

woman with the computer.

She went crazy and

messed up the house.

Don't smart-mouth me,

you sh*t!

Leave him alone.

This is a family

matter, bimbo.

Chet, just let me

find Lisa.

She'll clear

everything up.

You can have

my college money

and my social security,

Chet.

So you guys think

you can fool me, huh?

Huh?

You've synched everybody

to the same bullshit story.

This is

a Pershing missile, Chip.

My name is Chet.

And I didn't think

it was a whale's dick, honey.

Hi, Nanny.

Hi, Grampy.

I'm not a moron.

I...

Was that

my grandparents?

Are they dead?

No. They're

just resting.

What are they

doing in here?

I put them in there.

They weren't having a very

good time at the party.

Do you think

they're having a good time

catatonic in a closet?

Do you have any idea

how disrespectful that is?

I wouldn't give

a squirt of piss

for your ass right now.

You guys

get the girls home.

Wyatt,

take the Porsche.

Gary, take the Ferrari.

The Ferrari?

I want to be alone

with Chet.

Good to see you.

Get out of here!

Take your little

hussies home!

I want to get to

the bottom of this,

A.S.A.F.P.

Oh, so do I.

First, I'd like to

butter your muffin.

Why must you be

such a wanker?

Because

I get off on it.

I want you to

keep your big mouth shut

about everything

that's happened here.

Treat Wyatt and Gary

with dignity and respect.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Really.

I can be

a real serious b*tch...

if I don't get

what I want.

Ooh. Hit me

with your best shot.

How fast

are you going?

About 35.

Wait.

This can't be right.

Are you looking

at the RPMs?

No. I'm looking at

about 50 tickets.

Bye!

This happens

every time!

Oh, my. Whew!

That was great!

You son of a b*tch!

Al, Al!

Al, that was Gary!

Who is this

Gary character?

I had a great time

last night.

I'll probably be grounded

for a month or so, but...

I'll wait for you.

Oh

Mmph!

Mmm.

Whoa

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hilly!

I love you!

All right!

I want to thank you

for a great night.

Same here.

I have kind of

a confession to make.

I'm really

not this cool.

That's not my car.

This is not my suit.

Those people

weren't my friends.

Why are you telling me

all of this?

Because I want you

to like me

for what I am.

Whatever you are,

I like it.

Whew!

Well, I'd better

get going.

Wyatt and I still

have to deal with Chet.

Quit screwing around!

This isn't funny,

you stupid b*tch!

Careful, Chet.

Don't make me angry.

Sorry.

That's better.

Turn me back

to normal.

I haven't done

anything to you.

You've done plenty

to your brother.

Like what?

You've nagged him,

harassed him...

Huh, me?

Supressed him,

extorted money from him.

It was done

out of love.

I should give you

a set of elephant balls.

Heeagghh!

Promise me you'll leave

Wyatt and Gary alone,

and I'll change you back.

Oh, all right.

Shake on it, huh?

No, thanks.

I'd rather not.

Wait!

Where are you going?

I have to

go and get changed.

What about me?

The effect

will wear off, okay?

Well?

I'm in love.

Isn't it great?

The best.

I'll tell you what.

Things are

turning around for us.

I mean it.

Okay, what about Lisa?

We'll have

a talk with her.

Think she'll understand?

I think so.

I sure as hell wouldn't

want to date you.

You're not my type.

Chet?

Chet?

Hi, dudes!

I'm sorry, Wyatt,

for being a sh*t to you

all these years.

And gee,

I want you to know that...

I love you.

Blech!

Ha ha ha ha!

That's nasty, Wyatt.

That's Chet, Gary.

Hey, hey.

Mmm.

Mmm!

Oh, my God!

Lisa?

In here.

Lisa.

Yeah?

You saw Chet?

Yes, I did.

You're

responsible?

Yes, I am.

Lisa, we can't

have him like that.

It'd ruin Christmas.

He'll be fine

in half an hour.

He won't

spoil Christmas.

And he won't bug you

anymore, either.

Um, Lisa, we have to

have a talk with you.

What's on your mind?

I really don't know

how to say this.

You guys found

girlfriends, right?

Fell in love

with two girls.

They fell in love

with you.

That's all I ever

wanted for you.

You're not hurt?

Yeah, sure I'm hurt.

But I wouldn't

change it.

I'm really

just getting off

seeing you guys

straightened out.

I have to go.

Oh.

I've had

a wonderful time.

Lisa.

Bye.

Boys?

We're home!

Hi, Mr. Donnely.

How are you?

Hi, honey.

Dad, hi.

No, no, no.

What did you guys

do this weekend?

Not much.

Hung around the house.

Daddy thought

you might throw a party

or do something nutty.

Not us.

Not here.

No way.

No way.

Shh, shh, shh.

Okay.

Drop and give me 20.

She's alive

Weird science

Weird science

Plastic tubes

and pots and pans

Bits and pieces

And magic from our hands

will make it

Weird science

Ooh

Plastic tubes

and pots and pans

Bits and pieces

and bits and pieces

And bits and pieces

It's my creation

Is it real?

It's my creation

Ooh, my creation

It's my creation

Weird

Ooh

Weird science

Ooh

Magic and technology

Voodoo dolls and chants,

electricity

We're makin'

weird science

Fantasy and microchips

Bits and pieces

and bits and pieces

And bits and pieces

It's my creation

Is it real?

It's my creation

I do not know

No hesitation

No heart of gold

Just flesh and blood

I do not know,

I do not know

From my heart

and from my hand

Why don't people

understand

My intentions?

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

weird science

Ooh

Weird science

Magic and technology

Voodoo dolls and chants

Weird science

Things I've never

seen before

Behind bolted doors

Whoa whoa whoa

Weird science

Ooh

Weird

Weird science

Weird science

Ooh

Oh whoa whoa whoa

Bits and pieces

Bits and pieces

and bits and pieces

Weird science

It's my creation

Is it real?

It's my creation

I do not know

Ooh, my creation

Is it real?

It's flesh and blood

Just flesh and blood

Weird science

Weird science

Weird science

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