Welcome to Sajjanpur

This is our little village, Sajjanpur.

You like the name Sajjanpur?

Well, there is a story behind the name.

Once upon a time

it was called Durjanpur.

One day Pandit Jawaharlal

Nehru visited us.

He toured the village and said...

...'I don't like the name...

...Durjanpur (village of bad people.)'

'Change it to Sajjanpur with immediate effect.'

Since then Durjanpur became Sajjanpur.

Just like Bombay became Mumbai...

...Calcutta became Kolkata.

And Madras became Chennai.

Did anything change?

Yes, things changed.

When it was Durjanpur there

were many good people here.

Ever since it was changed to Sajjanpur...

...you see only bad people everywhere.

Official files say that...

...Sajjanpur is a developed village.

But the truth is

- there is no formal education here...

...no communication or information.

The only business here is

chewing tobacco.

And gossiping endlessly.

Me?

I am Mahadev Kushvaha.

I'm a letter writer.

I would like to be a novelist.

But in this worthless village,

there is no worthwhile subject.

That's why I would like to go to Mumbai...

...which has pretty girls,

tall buildings, and big cars!

But then I hear there is a shortage

of good subjects there.

Writers are pulling their hair out...

Directors are making

the same film again and again.

What's to be done?

I have an idea for a religious novel.

Goddess Sharada's temple is near here.

I have heard brave warriors

Ala and Udal sneak in...

...every morning to offer the first flowers to

Goddess Sharada.

And disappear without being seen.

They have been dead 800 years!

Holy Chitrakoot is right here.

And it's always crowded with pilgrims.

Here Tulsidas put sandalwood...

...paste on Lord Ram's forehead.

Even Ram's sylvan park

can be seen from here.

It has the smallest Ramayan,

and the biggest Hanuman.

During his exile Lord Ram

passed by this place.

That's why this place is full

of people with Rams.

...like Ramsakha, Ramlala, Ramprasad,

Rampyaari, Ramdulari.

Everywhere you hear

- "O Ram! Hail Ram!"...

"Come on Ram! Go Ram!"

Ever since gurus started free

religious discourses on TV...

...who will read my religious novel?

Which is why I'm left with no option

but to charge 2 - 4 rupees...

...to write letters for the village folk.

Yet email, STD, ISD, SMS,

MMS are all available.

The literacy rate too is going up.

Which means that people

can sign their names...

...instead of using their thumbs!

It's not likely that I will go

out of business anytime soon.

You have taken up too much

of my time. I have to get to work.

I shall leave now. We'll talk later.

Greetings, Uncle.

Sita Ram. Sita Ram.

Sita Ram. Sita Ram.

Neither letter, nor postcard,

nor telegram has come.

Ramlala!

Greetings, Sister-in-Law!

Greetings, Sir.

The crow shouts from the tree top.

Your beloved is so nave...

... posted a letter without the address.

And now the forlorn

letter wanders here and there.

Like a mango without its seed.

Like Radha without Shyam.

Sita Ram. Sita Ram.

Sita Ram. Sita Ram.

Neither letter, nor postcard,

nor telegram has come.

Uncle Ramprasad, where to?

- Jaunpur.

Inked and stamped in love.

It was a letter of love.

What kind of a letter is this,

said the postman!

Salutations to the writer,

greetings to the reader.

Sita Ram. Sita Ram.

Sita Ram. Sita Ram.

Neither letter, nor postcard,

nor telegram has come.

Greetings, Mahadev.

- Greetings to you.

Greetings, Uncle.

Greetings, Brother Gaya.

- Greetings.

Greetings, tailor Durlabh. How are you?

I'm fine, Mahadev. Doing fine.

Greetings!

Hail Bholenath!

Today is Monday.

Write me a postcard.

Sure. That will be 2 rupees.

If you write a letter for

a snake charmer, like me...

...Bholenath will fulfill all your wishes...

...for free.

I haven't done my first sale

yet and you want a free letter!

No first sale? No problem!

I'm in no hurry.

Where is the ink bottle?

Are you scared?

No! No! This is only a rubber snake.

The animal department stops

us from keeping real ones...

I have a real snake. Want to take a look?

- No! I don't want to.

Please sit there quietly!

Brother Gaya.

- Yes, brother.

The ink bottle Sit there quietly.

Brother Gaya,

give me an ink bottle.

Mahadev, the world has changed.

Man has gone to the moon.

I'll open a shop over there.

And you are still stuck

with this ink pen! Change it!

I cannot change my pen like

people change political parties.

Give me some hot water

so I can wash the pen.

There is no drinking

water in the village.

And you want water

to bathe your pen.

Wait! I have something for you.

Here you are.

A ballpoint!

It will write smoothly for 10 kilometers.

Throw that away.

- Brother, this pen is my life partner.

My wish is to have it in

my hands when I die.

Send me some water, quickly.

Mahadev, you live in a delusion.

Change your name to

delusional Dev. It suits you better.

Alright.

Away!

Yes!

Salutations, Sir.

Write a letter to the Collector.

Rahmat-un-Nissa's

candidature should be rejected...

...in the village elections.

But why?

Because her husband,

what's his name?

The one with the beard?

- Salim Mohammad.

Yes, Salim Mohammad!

He is a Pakistani spy and an ISI agent.

What? Really?

Yes. And write that my wife,

the sister-in-law of our village...

...Jamnabai's candidature

should be confirmed. Okay?

Yes. But sister-in-law is

facing a murder trial.

How can she be a candidate?

Damn fool! Until proven guilty anyone...

...can run for elections.

Even if she's a woman.

Not just the village head,

she can become...

...a member of parliament,

or the assembly...

...you can even become a chief minister.

Unbelievable!

- Yes!

The truth is we have a democracy.

- Yes.

Not a dictatorship, like in Pakistan.

Where you can remove an elected...

...minister, and install a general. Got it?

It requires brains to understand...

- Yes I understand.

What actually happened the other day?

How did Muthru Ahirwar's daughter die?

What can I say?

It was the Chhatt festival.

And your sister-in-law was praying.

She is very religious.

- Yes.

She heard a sound from the store-room...

And what does your sister-in-law see?

Muthru Ahirwar's naked...

...daughter on top of my son.

And my son is in great

pain because of her weight.

And he is screaming!

Screaming and begging...

'... let me go, you witch! '

'I am celibate! Don't rape me! '

That little girl threw down your son...

...and got on top! A terrible witch!

And then what happened?

The witch got scared as soon as

she was caught in the act.

Yes?

She couldn't bear her shame and...

What did she do?

There was a sickle lying nearby.

- A sickle?

She picked up the sickle

and chopped off her head.

The sister-in-law?

- No! The witch.

The cheeky Ahirwars say

it was murder and not suicide.

That's why it's important

for your sister-in-law...

...to be elected president...

...or they will become

too strong and ruin us.

Yes, that's true.

And also write that if

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