Welcome to Sajjanpur Page #2

Rehmat-Un-Nissa runs for elections...

...there will be Hindu-Muslim riots.

And the elections

would have to be scrapped.

Okay?

- Yes, I'll write that.

Write that. Write that.

- Sit, uncle.

But brother can I say something?

I don't think Salim Mohammad is a spy.

I mean, if you ask my personal opinion.

Damn fool, did I ask you?

Did I ask you for your personal opinion?

- No, brother.

Then write what I have told you.

All right.

Or else your writing hand... By the way with

which hand do you write?

This one.

- I'll chop it off and...

...offer it at the altar of the elections.

Okay?

- Yes.

Now write the letter.

Sit, uncle.

Let's go!

Made your first sale!

- Yes.

Now please write.

What is the address?

Lost and Found Department, Allahabad.

What have you lost? A snake?

My father.

Okay, tell me what to write.

With Bholenath's blessings...

...my father, Kanthi Ram,

got lost in the Maha Kumbh fair.

If anyone finds him, keep him

safe until Shivratri when...

...l'll come and take him away.

From Chhadamiram,

the snake charmer.

But how did you lose your father?

He couldn't walk.

He used to pee in his pyjamas.

Our work involves walking.

In the fair, I kept shouting walk fast.

What?

- Walk quickly!

He couldn't walk.

You left your old father because

he couldn't keep up the pace?

On being old even the snake king

left Bholenath (Lord Shiva) behind...

...with the excuse of changing his skin.

I'm only human.

What if the Lost and Found

Department doesn't find him...

...how will he survive?

The old man is very clever.

He has four scorpions in his basket

He will survive by exhibiting them.

Okay. What's your name?

Chhadamiram, snake charmer.

Drop it in the red postbox.

I don't have money.

Take this instead. - What's this?

Genuine energizer!

From the Himalayas!

Will make your wife happy.

No, I don't need it.

Really? I'll pray to Bholenath

to keep your masculinity safe.

Hail Bholenath!

Let me make it clear...

...it costs 2 rupees to

write on both sides.

You villagers trouble me later.

Which village are you from?

- Satri.

Aren't you Mahadev Kushvaha?

Yes, why?

- Didn't you recognize me?

I was your classmate.

In the 2nd grade.

I'm Kamla, the potter.

Kamla?

Is this the way to write?

As if a fly has scrawled

after touring the gutter.

Quiet!

Look at Mahadev.

He looks like an insect.

But his handwriting is better

than educated people.

Come here, son. Write.

'Kamal, let's go home.'

Ah, wonderful,

his words are like pearls...

Today, I predict that...

...this child will become a great writer.

And he will make the world

dance on the tip of his pen.

'Kamal, let's go home.

' Kamla, let's go...

Kamla? Kamla?!

You ass! Come here!

What have you written?

I told you to write,

'Kamal, let's go home.'

And you've written,

'Kamla, let's go home! '

What are your intentions?

- Nothing.

You want to take Kamla home?

I made a mistake, Sir.

- Mistake? You damn fool!

Understand the difference

between masculine and feminine.

A mistake like this will

earn you a tight slap.

Mahadev, teach me your

beautiful handwriting.

Here

- a sweet

Will you let me eat your sweet cheek?

Sure.

Sin!

Great Sin!

How dare you commit such

a sin in the temple of knowledge!

I joked about you becoming a writer...

And you have decided to

write the first chapter of Kamasutra.

Why did you kiss her? Why...

Kamla! Get up! Get up!

Slap him so hard that he never

dares kiss even a rock

Slap him, as Sita would slap Ravan.

Slap him, as Draupadi would slap Dushasan.

You are Durga, the slayer

of Mahishasur the demon!

Slap him! Slap him!

And after that day when

you didn't attend school...

...teacher Ramavatar scolded me.

He said, the girl was on

the path of knowledge...

And you have ruined her life.

- No! No!

I didn't leave school because of you.

I had a seizure.

The day I suffered it, father said

it was because of going to school.

I should stop attending school.

What are you saying?

- Yes.

Really? A fit?

Mahadev.

- Yes.

Mahadev!

- Who is it?

Brother?

- Did you write my letter?

I was just writing your letter.

- Hey smart aleck!

Don't slack on my job.

The consequence will be bad.

Got it?

- Yes.

I know what you do

pretending to write letters.

...fooling around with

the women of the village.

No brother, she is a sister!

- Sister?

Someone's.

Write the letter quickly and send it to the

Collector. - All right.

Or else your ink... Where is your ink?

- Right here! I have the ink.

I'll smear it on your face and

take you on an election procession.

Okay. - Okay? Write it well,

use strong language.

The collector should sh*t in

his pants reading it. - Okay.

Or else, you will sh*t in your pants.

Hurry up! - Sit, Uncle.

- I'm already seated. Okay.

Writing letters seems

like a dangerous job.

Why did you choose this profession?

I didn't choose it.

It chose me.

I graduated from Satna college.

And returned to the village

since I didn't get a job.

And went back to our vegetable stall.

Mother said education

had made me quite useless.

It was only Lallan's mother

who used my knowledge.

Aunt, you're back?

Your son neither replies

nor sends any money.

But you still make me write to him.

What else can I do?

Monsoon will be here soon.

My house wall is crumbling.

If my son sends some money

then something can be done.

But you write those letters

with such little interest.

...it doesn't affect him one bit.

No, aunt, I...

- Why are you denying it?

If you can't solve my problem...

...then what's the use of

your useless degrees.

Aunt, give me one more chance.

Today I will write a letter

that will make a miracle happen!

Wait, I'll be back.

Until then I would write letters

without my own feelings.

Only words that I had

learnt mechanically in school.

I decided that now I would put

my emotions into my letter.

'I wrote the letter for about an hour.'

'I gave the example of

Lord Ram and Shravan...

...who sacrificed so much for his parents.'

'I also added a dialogue

from a Shah Rukh Khan film.'

'There is some value to a mother's love.'

'You should find happiness

in your mother's happiness.'

'And sorrow in her sorrow.'

'Your grieving mother.'

That's it. The letter worked.

Aunt's son, Lallanprasad...

...immediately sent a money

order for 500 rupees.

Aunt was really happy.

And she told everyone

that there was magic in my words...

There was a queue of people

wanting their letters written.

Enough! That's enough!

Go away from here! Go all of you.

Don't crowd my shop.

Someone stole my pot yesterday.

Mahadev, if you want to write

their letters then go somewhere else.

The next day, with the Lord's blessings,

I set up shop.

Near the post office,

under a banyan tree.

And I fixed the charges

for writing letters.

Well, it's good.

Writing letters is God's work.

Now write my letter.

Okay... Whom do you want to write to?

To my husband.

Here's the address.

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