Welcome to the North

People of Castellabate,

come out of your houses.

Come join our protest.

No to unification!

We don't want to go part-time.

No to part-time work!

- Mattia, come and protest.

- Hurry.

Hey, it's not that

I don't want to take part,

in fact I'm behind you

because you're doing a good thing.

But I need to be part-time,

so I'll have more time for myself.

No point in having time but no money!

Or money and no time!

And to be honest,

I have certain responsibilities.

Edinson, kick it to daddy!

You hit the post!

- Fine dust particles don't worry you?

- No.

- And the medium ones?

- Try and enjoy the day.

It was better in Usmate.

You insisted we move to Milan,

you knew about the smog!

Let's get a house in the mountains

like eveyone else.

Never, because we're original,

unconventional, we're...

Misers!

And you're always busy

with your post office job...

After that fraud incident

I'm under scrutiny,

I have to give it my all!

Darling, the mountains

are good for us.

Remember our first kiss

at the Alpine soldier party?

- You don't?

- I'd drank a litre of grappa.

This time don't drink

so you'll remember all my kisses.

So we're agreed

about the house, okay?

Chicco?

WELCOME TO THE NORTH

I've often asked myself...

why did St. Paul write

all those letters to the Corinthians?

But more importantly...

why didn't the Corinthians

ever reply?

I'll tell you why: the Italian

postal service didn't exist!

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Mario!

The PO's upper crust is here,

maybe they've forgiven me.

It's taken.

It's reserved.

It's pre-booked.

Even important families

have black sheep.

And the blackest of all is him.

Alberto Colombo.

Here he is, playing the part

of a handicapped person.

Look at his limp hand.

Noww e have

the real performance:

the spasms

of the face and of the intestines,

somewhat oriental, like a dance...

And watch this:

here's his best move.

He shakes his hand, the chairfalls,

a perfect jerk expression.

A first-rate comedian.

But now let's move on

to the best among you.

What branch was most productive?

Who is the man of the year?

It's him again, Alberto Colombo!

Thanks, thanks.

A role model for all.

Alberto Colombo

is the proof that each of you

can change and improve.

Therefore, I'm entrusting him

with the project I care most about.

It's a Japanese pilot project:

to create a perfect post office

as a model for the county.

Colombo! Colombo!

Thanks, thanks...

- What happened?

- I was excited...

I mean, I spilt some water.

Please, take me on.

Working with Palmisani is my dream.

- Only if you say you're a bastard.

- I'm a bastard, never doubted it!

A terrible bastard!

You're irresponsible.

Tell me why you agree

with being part-time.

I agree with it because...

I did it for you.

So when you go back to work

and become an executive

I can look after the kid.

Right, you'll leave him with your mom

and go to the beach.

We need two wages to buy a house.

Why? This place is fine:

it's bright, spacious and cheap.

Plus we have privacy, seclusion...

Lunch is ready!

- Eat up for mommy!

- Here we are!

- You gotthe smallest one!

- The big ones were gone.

We need to call the plumber,

the toilet's not flushing.

- I'll call him tomorrow.

- She'll call him tomorrow.

I said it to you, not your mother.

- What matters is that it's fixed.

- The toilet's important.

It's essential for a house.

- I'm sick of living here.

- Because of the toilet?

I want to buy our own house.

Eveyone has one, why not us?

Maybe I should go call the plumber.

Edinson, come with grandma.

I can't take on that debt

that property deal...

It's called a mortgage.

Why don't you use the proper name?

I just can't, I can't breathe

when I have to say that word...

I can't say it!

It'll take 30 years,

that's a life sentence!

I can't be with a man

who can't say "mortgage", got it?

- Where are you going?

- I'm leaving.

No, don't.

Think of Edinson...

I don't want to be with a kid,

and you're a kid! Get lost!

If you leave me

I'll jump out the window!

Go ahead.

Maria, I love you!

I swear I love you!

I'll shout it to the world!

- Come out.

- Making a scene is useless.

You're a clown.

I'm being serious.

I'll stay here until Christmas.

Fine!

Help me!

Help me!

Put me down,

you've made a mistake,

my heart's been trashed

now I'm in the trash!

Scapece, come get me at the dump.

Put me down, understood?

Without my wife and son,

what's the point of living?

- I'll kill myself.

- Don't joke.

These thoughts you have,

you shouldn't have them.

You're right, don't think thoughts.

What are you babbling on about?

- I'll slit my wrists.

- No, the blood goes everywhere.

You'll make a mess at home...

Knowing your mom, she'll clean up

then kill you a second time.

I'll throw myself into the sea,

I've just eaten.

- Into the sea?

- Have 3 hours gone by?

If 3 hours have gone by,

you can go in the water and not die.

I didn't think dying was so hard.

- I've thought of something!

- Suicide options again?

Worse! The death of my heart...

I applied for a transfer to Pordenone.

Tell Maria how much she hurt me.

Pordenone?

What a terrible death.

- Hello?

- Maria's left Mattia.

- But even worse...

- Who is this?

- Costabile Senior.

- And Junior.

What a pleasure!

- Mattia wants to go to Pordenone.

- Hear that?

He'll die in the north for sure!

There's fog, the food's awful...

- The people are cold.

- And heartless.

Thanks, you're so kind.

Don't mention it, Alberto.

You're a friend,

transfer him to Milan.

At least there he'd have you.

Calm down, it's not my office.

I'd help if I could, but how can I?

A new guy's just arrived,

I can't get rid of him.

Plus he's an "untouchable",

you know what I mean?

- You see? They're heartlss.

- You're right.

Thanks, speak soon.

Hang up.

Bye, take care.

Hi, Magonza.

Magonza, I'm the manager.

I'd like to welcome you.

You're vey kind.

- Here. Shall I help you?

- Thanks.

- Be careful!

- It's my fault.

- May I ask... how long?

- Since birth.

Are you feeling okay?

I've got a sore throat.

- Is the air con too cold?

- No.

I feel cold now.

Now I feel hot.

- I hope you'll be happy here.

- Thanks.

- That money's mine.

- Finders keepers...

- Sorry.

- No problem.

I knew it!

Ciro!

Nice.

False alarm,

there'll be no unification.

- And no part-time.

- Great!

Mattia, a surprise for you.

Transferred to Milan?

- Happy? We saved you.

- Milan's much better than Pordenone.

- You did this?

- We're your friends, we help you.

Help? You've killed me!

Who wants to go to Pordenone?

I didn't want to go.

- That's why we contacted Milan.

- I don't want to go to Milan!

I said I wanted to die

so you actually kill me?

It was just to scare Maria.

Don't you understand the mechanism?

I tell you, you tell Maria.

It's called being a grass!

So it was all a farce?

What have we done!

You can always turn it down.

How? It's an immediate transfer.

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