Welcome to the South Page #2

fever, shock, meningitis...

What's the temperature there?

What is it?

- What was it?

- Nothing.

How hot can it get?

I've got an extinguisher.

Good luck, Mr. Colombo.

I hope so.

Be a good boy, do what Mommy says.

- This is for you.

- What is it?

It's a rat trap,

so they don't bite your feet.

It's SPF 50 sunscreen,

use it especially...

You're wearing your watch?

- Maybe to take it they'd...

- You're right. What an idiot.

This too?

That's right.

Little guy.

Wear your little hat!

It's in your bag.

Will Daddy be back?

Yes,

very soon.

This is Alberto Colombo,

your new manager.

I've just left.

It's 7:
28 here, and there?

- 7:
28.

- Good.

- I should be there by dinner.

- Are you walkin'?

At Eboli take the coast road,

or you'll go "uppa" the

Salerno-Reggio Calabria.

Upper Calabria?

There must be some static.

I have a GPS navigator,

I'll see you this evening.

I'll be 'ere.

- What?

- I'll be 'ere.

Beer?

Look, I'll call you when I arrive.

- Hello, license and registration.

- Was I going too fast?

Too slow, you're blocking traffic.

My mind was wandering,

I'm going to Naples.

I've been transferred there.

I understand,

I have a brother in Kosovo.

Be careful for your car and yourself.

In 300 meters, keep to the left

and take the

Salerno-Reggio Calabria.

Here we sit, bidin' time.

Excuse me?

Is it far to Castellabate?

I reckon some of 'em tumbled up.

This road riles you,

it's always chock-a-block.

Thank you.

What kind of talk's that?

Shitkicker!

You've arrived at your destination.

Arrived?

- Volpe, it's me, I'm here.

- Where are you?

- Can't see a blasted....

- What plaster?

Look for the street name.

Hold the line.

- HERE YOU DIE -

Mr. Director!

My Lord, is he dead?

What a somethin' to happen!

- Mr. Director!

- Volpe!

Volpe Mattia, that's me.

- I'll call an ambulance.

- No way!

Do like I say.

Was it bucketin' so

you couldn't turn the steerin'?

- Did I harm you a bit?

- My armpit?

- I'll get my things.

- Let's go.

Can I leave the car here?

They won't steal it?

Welcome to your house.

There's no furniture.

Who stole it?

I'll report you, throw you in jail!

- The other director took it.

- He's a thief.

- Meantime I'll report him.

- He's gone.

- A fugitive?

- No, he checked out.

He popped off.

- He croaked.

- I don't understand.

- Dead.

- Great start!

- Take me to a hotel.

- I didn't get that.

There must be a hotel around.

This time of year, at this hour?

You razzin' me?

Okay.

Is there much more to walk?

Want me to carry it?

Come in.

It's kind of you to host me.

Please, this way.

Mr. Director...

Take your shoes off.

My mother's fanatical about dirt.

Watch your step.

Go ahead in.

I'll camp out on the couch,

I can't stay here.

I'll move the box.

I'll get you settled,

change the sheets too.

You shouldn't...

It's moth balls,

Mom puts them everywhere.

There are rats? Tiny mice maybe.

- Every rat's this big.

- Living here?

No, they're renting next door,

a one-room place.

Goodnight.

Thank you.

- Would you like coffee?

- Not at this hour.

Never in the evenings,

maybe herbal tea.

Never mind, it's okay.

A junkie.

Explosives!

Holy mother, he's in the Camorra!

Mr. Colombo!

He's dead.

What's this stink?

Mr. Director?

What do you want?

- What do you want yourself.

- Meaning?

For breakfast.

- What time is it?

- 8:
15.

- Tea with milk.

- How about coffee?

Mom makes great coffee.

No, always tea with cold milk

on the side, some toast

and a plain yogurt, thank you.

This is yours.

- I'd put it there.

- That's the chimney vent.

I didn't want to dirty anything.

There was a draft.

Mom.

- He wants tea.

- Got a bellyache?

I don't know, it puzzled me a bit,

threw me off.

I'll take care of him.

Good morning.

- Good morning.

- Mr. Director.

Madame.

- Madame, how is Madame?

- Who's a Madame?

Madame, how is Madame?

- Who's he talking to?

- To you.

My mom's used to ma'am,

we don't use Madame here.

Sorry.

- What did I do?

- That's my place.

This has been my mug

since I was a kid.

So much, there's no need,

I always have tea, and

maybe one slice of toast.

You have to eat,

or she'll be offended.

Eat up.

Have some sausages,

the zabaglione's for me.

She makes it for me every morning

with fresh eggs.

- It's dynamite!

- I can imagine.

Eat something.

- Just to...

- Don't you like it?

It's delicious, but I don't...

A taste.

Sausage?

A little dessert?

Mom, some dessert for the Director.

- I'm really fine as is.

- Taste it.

It's good, a kind of chocolate.

Kind of, it's called blood pudding.

It's chocolate with pig's blood.

- You have to eat it.

- I got that.

Your mother's right,

it's not so hot here.

They told me

it was very hot here, but...

Camels used to bring the mail,

the director was a Bedouin.

- Are you making fun of me?

- No...

- Mattia!

- How's it goin'?

This guy?

Looks like the Michelin man.

He's joking.

He's the new director, from Milan.

- I get it.

- What?

He always gets things late.

- Buy you a coffee?

- No, I have to work.

Wait, let me introduce

two stalwart co-workers.

Little Costabile,

one of our greatest employees.

- Welcome to the famous Castellabate.

- Wait!

Big Costabile,

a senior worker, close to retirement.

Big Costabile and

Little Costabile?

It's our patron saint's name,

they're not related.

- You're from the "nor-d"?

- No, from the "north".

I don't know where "nor-d" is.

A coffee to welcome you?

Is drinking coffee all you do here?

I've had 3 already!

To work!

Bye, doll, see you later.

Hello to everyone.

Shut your mouth

or you'll be catchin' flies.

Good morning.

Maria Flagello, insured mail

and financial services.

- You're late, it's 9.

- We always open at 9.

You take life easy here.

- Would you show me my office?

- Of course.

What's the difference between

"nor-d" and "north"?

A guy tries to be polite!

I can tell right off,

this guy's a nice person,

you can see by his ears.

During office hours

let's dress appropriately.

He means me.

This guy wants us to sweat blood.

You'll see.

- Who brought Maria here?

- I don't know.

You forgot your snack.

I'm 35, and you still

bring me snacks?

Wait, take a little mozzarella.

And a piece of macaroni omelet.

In case you get hungry...

Am I leaving on a trip?

- You have a tape worm.

- When I was a kid!

Besides, if it eats the omelet,

the ham and the bread,

it's no little tape worm,

it's a tape python!

Morning, Mrs. Volpe.

- You're still here?

- A full employee.

She has to go!

I understand,

but why do I need this?

If you lose it, we'll replace it.

Don't waste time,

there's a line forming.

Want to be here till nightfall?

I'm talking to a client,

I can't do him lickety split.

Take the toothpick out of your mouth.

I need it so I don't stammer.

I'll handle this man,

you continue with the others.

- Mr.?

- Scapece.

What can we do for you?

I'd like to apply for a Postamat.

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