Welcome to the South Page #3

A friend?

A friend of his came here

and got a Postamat.

This friend gets his retirement pay

accredited to his account

so he can easily withdraw cash.

Without sweating blood.

Do you understand?

Could you repeat that?

I got it!

Third window.

Come in.

- What is it?

- We're closing for lunch.

- Want to come with us?

- Where do you go?

Home, we all live nearby.

- When will you be back?

- At 3.

- Imagine that!

- But we stay open until 6.

- Coming?

- No, thank you, I'm not hungry.

I'll stay here and work.

Enjoy your lunch.

The time will pass quickly.

It's just two years.

- Costabile, is this yours?

- No, Mr. Director.

- Would you like a coffee?

- Excuse me?

- What is it?

- I have to get by.

You're here to listen to

the critical issues I've noticed

and want to talk about with you.

Where's Volpe?

You'll refer.

There are two urgent points:

safety and working hours.

I'd like a steel door

and cameras inside and out.

Start time:
8 am,

lunch break from 1pm to 2,

work ends at 5 pm.

I wish to remind you

that this is Italy too.

Objections?

I told you he'd make us sweat blood.

Where's Mattia?

Maybe you don't understand

how it works.

People come about 1o'clock,

they're busy before that.

And before 4 pm nobody moves.

Robberies?

Everyone knows everyone here.

With all these stairs,

how could they ever rob us?

It would take Tom Cruise

from "Mission:
Impossible".

You deny this area

has a high crime rate?

You have no perception of reality!

We'll get a specialist to evaluate.

He was sent here

or he came by hisself?

And another thing: when you speak,

I don't understand you.

Speak to me in Italian.

Were you sent here

or did you come by yourself?

They sent me here to make you work.

Let's try to optimize the work.

I'm constipated.

You're pushing it.

Maria!

You could have come a little later!

I can drive like a pro, too,

taking curves

with an ear on the ground.

Finally Mr. Volpe is here too.

Had to wash Mommy's dishes?

All those courses...

Aren't you feeling well?

Why are you laughing?

Know what this man did?

I invited him to my house,

he locked himself in

and hid his wallet,

scared I'd steal it.

Don't force me

to report you for discipline.

I'm shakin'.

You asked for it.

Didn't they teach you manners?

Cut it out! Stop being a clown.

He just got here,

I'd like to see you in his shoes,

if they treated you like that.

Mattia and I grew up together,

he's a good kid.

- But he can't insult me.

- He has an Oedipus complex.

Personal problems

can't be dumped on others.

You won't really report him!

I can't let it slip by.

It's like he's still a kid.

Go along, I'll lock up.

And tell Mr. Volpe

I'm sleeping at my house,

even on the floor.

Mr. Director!

Where are you going?

- Home.

- It's the other way.

We'll take you there.

- What'll you do to me?

- We'll take you home.

- See you tomorrow.

- No, we gotta take you inside.

Help!

What were you thinking?

Who's there?

- What's happened?

- Why are you here?

Don't be afraid,

we wanted to surprise you.

Each of us gave something.

It's make-shift,

but it's okay for a start.

It's wonderful.

It's beautiful.

It's so nice of all of you,

even pictures!

- Horrible! Who's this?

- My father, rest his soul.

They've done fireworks

for generations.

Mattia does them too.

That's why the explosives...

He's tops.

And this is for the curtains.

And I thought...

But I'm a little sorry

that you're not sleeping at my house.

Who'll steal your wallet now?

I don't know how to thank you.

- How much?

- What are you doin'?

- We did it in friendship.

- We don't even know each other!

We'll learn to.

I owe you one.

The curtains will come later.

There's the sea!

I hadn't realized.

One of these evenings

I'll invite you to dinner at the sea,

to thank you.

Okay, this evening.

- But you're our guest.

- I can't, my back...

Why, you eat with your back?

Whitebait omelet, cianfotta,

cecata soup and soppressata.

Stuffed anchovies,

fusilli with meat sauce

and white Cilentan figs.

- What?

- You have to taste everything.

Why just taste? Let's eat it all!

When it comes to eating,

you're always first.

Come on.

A little soppressata.

You even have to try

the mussels 'mpepata.

A trumpet!

We've mixed you up.

Know what they say

when someone's really mixed up?

That he mistook

one thing for another.

A dick for a spigot.

It's not hard to talk like us,

just take off the last vowel.

For example, banana

becomes "bana-n".

- Sofa becomes "so-f".

- Then it's easy.

Plate becomes "pla-t",

this would be "for-k",

"kni-f".

- Male, "ma-l".

- You wiped us out!

But these letters don't get lost.

- We never throw anything out.

- We recycle.

A simple vowel becomes a word.

An "E" becomes affirmative.

An "O" is a warning.

A guy says...

An "I" means go away.

And a "U"?

The "U" and "A" are together,

it's amazement.

Like when you see a beautiful woman.

You strike it lucky?

Or the new director

shows up from Milan unexpectedly...

- Try ordering a dish.

- Between us sure, but...

- Try a practical demonstration.

- It's a good idea.

Go for it!

Hurry.

- Waiter?

- He'll never come.

You have to say "oway".

He's here.

We'd like to order...

We'da like...

I don't understand a word, I'm

Venetian, been here for two months.

Are you alright?

I left you so many messages.

Weren't you supposed to call

as soon as you got there?

Yes, but I was in a meeting.

- I have to reorganize everything.

- How are you?

Fine, they're very welcoming.

- It's not even hot.

- Stop it.

Stop lying.

I'm your wife,

you can tell me you're suffering.

Sure, it's tough, it's a mess here.

I knew it!

- How well I know you.

- I'll be back in two weeks.

Taste the pastiera.

- Are you alone?

- Yes.

I heard a woman's voice.

- It's Maria, my neighbor.

- What's she like?

Short and fat, with a moustache.

- A beaver.

- Close.

We miss you.

Bye, kitten.

Attempted murder.

Good morning.

- Is this yours?

- Yes.

That's 62 euro.

- Why, isn't that how it's done?

- Maybe in your town.

Good day.

And I thought...

Trash got thrown out the window.

For convenience, we recycle.

Today organic,

Thursday paper, Saturday glass.

Sir...

Go play.

Why did he fine me?

- This festival is very popular.

- Saint Costabile is the patron.

"Here you don't die."

It's what Joachim Murat,

the French King, said.

He came here to Castellabate,

he wrote that phrase

and then he died.

- Smart gal, our Maria.

- Let's go.

- What?

- Let's go.

These two weeks just flew by.

Go slow and call when you get there.

Cut it out! What are you, his mom?

Have a good weekend.

I brought you a CD for the trip.

- Where's Mattia?

- He's been firing for an hour.

See you Monday.

- They're very different from us.

- That's for sure.

You can't understand them.

Chicco's sleeping!

- It's like being in Africa.

- Were you threatened?

- I'd rather not say.

- What happened?

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