What Ever Happened to Aunt Alice? Page #3

I'd love to see what a souped-up

motor would do for my car.

I'll be glad to demonstrate.

Well, it's been very nice

seeing you again.

- Please call us.

- I will.

Let me take care of the check.

Well, thank you.

I'll call you the next time

I'm in the village.

- Oh?

- To demonstrate my engine.

( laughs )

Well, bye, you two.

What's the matter?

I was ready to laugh.

( music playing )

Why don't you

pour yourself one, too?

May I?

Please do.

Lovely.

Take a look at my calendar.

What do I have to do this afternoon?

Well, you have a note here

I can't make out.

Oh, I have to write

to my broker in Chicago.

He's a marvelous man

of the old school.

He's not much given

to correspondence,

but he has yet

to be wrong about a stock.

But your nephew

is a stockbroker?

Oh, nothing like

my man in Chicago.

He's a delight.

He's made a fortune for me.

Sure.

You wouldn't know the word

for parrot fever, would you?

Psittacosis.

How marvelous to have

an encyclopedic knowledge.

You wouldn't know

how to spell it, would you?

P- S-I-T-T-A-

( dog barking )

Whose dog is that?

( barking )

Chloe!

Get away from there!

Don't you hurt that dog!

Who are you?

James Vaughn,

and where's your property line?

Jim!

Oh, I'm awfully sorry.

Jim's been reading about

all the lands the Indians had,

and he...

We moved into the cottage

for three months.

I don't think you remember me.

We met at the Lawsons'.

My name is Harriet Vaughn.

I was not informed that the cottage

was available for renting.

Ask her if Chloe

belongs to her.

Chloe?

Well, that's what

she called the dog.

Chloe is a tramp.

Then we can keep her, Harriet.

You will do nothing

of the kind,

and if the dog is so misfortunate

as to appear again,

you will not

encourage her to stay.

I hope that wasn't

an order, Mrs. Marrable.

If you don't want the dog around,

we'll work it out, but...

I have not taken loving

and diligent care of my garden

to have it wrecked

by this vagrant b*tch.

Neighbors don't always

warm up to each other right away.

Mrs. Marrable hasn't had

any for years.

Can we keep the dog?

Keep the dog out of this garden

or we'll have the sheriff after us.

She doesn't even know

what kind of dog it is-

you know, male or female.

Rose Hull was forever

petting and feeding Chloe.

Rose...?

Hull. She used to live in that cottage

before she became my housekeeper.

It's a wonder she didn't

take her dog with her.

It wasn't her dog!

I have told you, Chloe is a tramp.

At least she was clever enough not

to come around after Rose Hull left.

Well, did Rose Hull-

George, someone

has moved into the cottage.

You had a chance

to buy that cottage

when Rose Hull

stopped making payments.

The bank owns it now.

Well, I had no idea

anyone would want to live there.

I must have

my privacy, George.

Use your friends

at the bank, can't you?

Didn't you tell me

youre one big club,

one for all

and all for nobody?

Come here. Let's go.

Come on.

Hello.

Hi.

...explain myself.

I'm entering the same contest

as Mrs. Marrable.

I can't let her know-

she wouldn't like that at all-

so I was mailing my card

from your box.

A blank card

is all that they ask for.

The first hundred entries

get a portable makeup mirror

that lights up all over.

How will they know

where to send it?

There's no return address.

Am I getting absent-minded!

( horn honks )

Oh, dear.

May I have

my mail, please?

That is, unless our captivating

neighbor requires you further.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize

you were up and about.

She seems to be

a pleasant young lady.

Would you prefer to be

in her employ?

I was just being friendly,

that's all.

Oh, I'm convinced of it.

Soap manufacturers

put more scent in their samples

than they do

in the product they sell.

Put that in the closet, will you?

We have so much stored up

in there, we could open up shop.

Are you suggesting

that I give it away

to your newly acquired friend

across the way?

I won! I won!

I am the winner of the...

Well...

it's only the third prize.

Nevertheless,

feast your eyes on that.

$25! What was the contest?

In 50 words or less,

I gave an inspired account

of how I allured

my most recent boyfriend!

( laughing )

I am going to proceed to enter every

teenage contest in the country.

I didn't expect...

I should have told the mailman

there's no one here by that name.

Post offices have been known

to make mistakes before.

It's not a serious one.

This was her address at one time.

( knocking )

Your breakfast is ready.

Thank you.

JIM! JIM!

JIM!

Harriet:
JIM!

How long

are you going to stay?

Certainly another

couple of months.

We took a lease

on the cottage.

But you know that.

Are you happy

with the place?

Great for Jim. Me too.

I'm so glad

you told me about it.

I'm sure the lease

can be extended.

Oh, I might stay longer.

I just might.

( whimpers )

Look what I have for you.

Come on.

Come on. Chloe.

Come on.

Come on, Chloe.

Delicious!

Come, come.

Come and get it.

Come on.

Chloe, are you coming?

Come on, Chloe.

Come and get it.

Come on, come on.

Are you coming?

That's a good dog.

( yells )

( angry barking )

( growling )

Are you aware that the cocktail hour

has come and gone?

Has it? I have

your margarita right here.

I'm a bit slow today. Haven't had

much experience with pheasant.

When I engaged you,

you led me to assume

that you were

a highly proficient cook

who wouldn't be thrown off

schedule by a new variety of fowl.

I'm only running

a few minutes late.

Punctuality is essential

to a gracious way of life,

which I do not intend

to give up on account of you.

Well, I've been trying

to prepare a lovely meal,

and that cannot be done with all

the complaints and interruptions...

I warn you

not to raise your voice.

I would like

to be heard for once.

If you want to live like

some duchess or maharani,

you better learn

to behave like one!

I must have known

this would be my reward

for being far more considerate

and patient and generous to you

than I have been

to any of my former housekeepers.

And how long

did they stay with you?

Not one of them

walked out on me.

Are you threatening to?

Well?

Are you?

No.

No, I wasn't threatening

to walk out, no.

I wouldn't blame you

if you fired me on the spot.

Oh, well...

I must admit

that I was tempted to,

but I soon realized

that what at first seemed

disrespect, if not mutiny,

was simply an uncontrollable

outburst of temper.

My temper will do me in.

Oh! I've been told and told.

If I keep on

flying off the handle,

I'll have no friends left.

Well, I've been so disgusted

with the procession

of humdrum,

mealy-mouthed yes ladies

who have paraded

through this house

that a touch of fire

is a welcome change.

I've been wondering

about those others.

We nurses tend to do that.

If you learn where

your predecessor fell short,

youre less likely

to make the same mistakes.

There's no danger.

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