What Happened Last Night Page #2

you're gonna be there?

I'll be where?

See? She said there.

No, she said there, Liz.

Yeah, she did. There.

Oh, my god, shut up.

Yes, I'll be there

in five minutes.

Five minutes. Five.

Yeah, no, honey, I gotta go.

I gotta go, bye. Bye.

So how was work?

Eh, it was fine.

A little girl

made me a necklace.

Oh, cute.

I don't know how you can waste

your time.

It's my senior year.

I don't wanna slack off.

That's exactly what you should

be doing your senior year.

And I mean midterms

aren't for, what, two weeks?

I have a lot of really hard

classes this semester.

Bullshit.

Look who you're talking to.

Hello? We live together.

I mean, come on.

If it's over Dave, you've gotta

let it go. It's over.

It's been over for a month, min.

So what?

That's the whole point.

Get over it.

No. Today.

Today marks exactly one month

since Dave and I broke up.

You're counting?

Sarah, let it go.

You're really

not making me feel better.

Honey, I'm not trying to.

Come to the party with Liz

and myself tonight, okay?

Gamma's having this huge bash,

we're gonna have fun.

We're gonna have fun,

and we both know

that horses' asses

are gonna be there.

I really wish you would stop

referring to him

as horse's ass, Mindy.

I call them as I see them.

He's a horse's ass.

He is.

Stop freaking

protecting him, anyway

after what he did to you?

He cheated on you, with...

I know, Mindy.

Ugh.

I know.

Can we just drop this already?

Look, I'll try.

I will.

I will. I'll... I'll stop.

I'll stop calling him

horse's ass

if you come to the party

tonight.

No, you won't.

Yeah, I probably won't.

But I'll really try, okay?

I will.

Come on? Yeah?

Wanna try?

I'm gonna try.

What? Oh, that's right.

Is lord Douchington

better for you?

Huh?

Knock it off.

See? You haven't laughed

in weeks.

Look, how about this?

I'll make it

a little interesting.

What are you talking about?

Whichever one of us

gets the most drinks

brought to us by different guys

by the end of the night wins.

Wins what?

Hmm...

Dishes.

The loser has to clean

the dishes for a week.

Ew.

Yeah.

Two weeks.

I hate doing the dishes.

Fine.

But you're gonna be the one

with the dishpan hands.

Whatever.

And we can't drink anything

unless a guy brings it to us.

Fine.

You know what, Sarah?

Maybe you shouldn't go.

Because the whole purpose

is for you to have fun

and forget about horse...

Uh, sorry.

I am so sorry.

Uh...

Mm.

It's so hard.

All right.

All right, you're on.

Deal.

Oh, god. I'm so sorry.

Oh, god. I've really gotta go.

That's Liz.

I really have to go.

I am so sorry.

Yes?

I'll see you tonight, okay?

Liz, you are worse

than my mother.

Jesus.

Douchington.

Hell, yeah, we'll be there.

Sure, he'll come.

Of course.

Dude, I'll be right there.

Oh.

Megan?

Hello there, Joe.

What are you doing here?

Is, uh...? Is Danny home?

No.

Good.

But what are you doing?

Oh, you know, I just,

uh, came by to get my stuff.

What stuff?

I don't have any of your stuff.

Why would you have my stuff?

Danny has my stuff. I just...

I don't know, I don't want him

holding on to it

for sentimental value.

It's weird.

Sentimental value?

That's a laugh.

Oh, okay. You know what?

Don't be jealous, Joey

because we all know

that if you break up

with your girlfriend,

you'll always have

that great box she came in.

Maybe you should

take better care of your box.

So we're not in this situation.

Touch. Okay on that note,

yeah.

I'm gonna get my sh*t.

Okay.

Hurry up, Megan.

Mine.

You needed that right?

I did, and you know what,

my sunglasses.

I've been looking for these

bad boys.

I'm sure you have.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. And... oh.

Just where I left them.

All over campus.

Ha-ha-ha. Very funny.

Yo! Hey, Joe!

Oh, crap. Stay in here

Joe!

Yo, Joe, what's up, man?

Hey, Dan.

Dude, I'm glad you're home.

I'm starving.

Let's go get something to eat.

Nah, dude, I already ate.

I'm not hungry, sorry.

Wanna get a beer?

Got beer in the fridge, right?

Not enough.

I'm broke.

I'll buy, come on.

You'll buy?

Yeah. I'll buy, let's go.

No. What are you hiding?

What's going on?

Nothing.

I'm just hungry, all right?

Tonight's gamma bash.

I need to fuel up my tank.

Make a sandwich.

I don't want a sandwich.

Come on, Dan,

let's just go to Chad's.

No, what are you hiding

from me, bro?

I'm not hiding anything.

Something in there?

Hey, Danny.

It's good to see you.

What are you doing here, Megan?

Oh, you know,

I was in the neighborhood,

decided to come by

and pick up my stuff.

You see, this guy...

Okay, just in the neighborhood,

what were you doing?

Looking for another frat guy

to bang?

You know, it's not my fault

that you didn't know

how to please me.

I'm sorry I couldn't please you,

so you had to go and bang

every one of my brothers.

Okay, well, maybe if you were

more of a man

who knew how to treat a woman

we wouldn't have this problem.

If you weren't such a whore...

Enough, enough, enough!

Enough. Megan, take your sh*t

and leave.

Excuse me?

Take your sh*t and leave.

Fine.

But only because I feel like it.

Don't expect to see me again.

I won't.

Just maybe to hear you

through the wall or something.

Dude...

F***!

She's not worth it.

She is so not what I needed.

Forget about it.

Look, I'm going to the house

for the game.

You wanna come?

No I'm just...

I'm just not in the mood, okay?

I don't think I'm going tonight.

What? Are you nuts?

This is our last gamma bash.

I know, I just got a lot

of things on my mind.

You've got Megan on your mind.

Among other things.

Like?

Like...

Like midterms, like my job,

my family...

Midterms aren't for two weeks

you get paid to box cookies

and sweet-talk old ladies

and your family is fine.

I'm thinking about Megan.

You're obsessing about Megan.

It's been over two weeks, dude.

The grace period is over.

The what?

The grace period.

I dated this chick named grace

back in high school.

When we broke up, I gave her

two weeks to come to her senses

and come back to me.

Well, on the 14th day,

she came back.

So I give every ex-girlfriend

another chance

if they come back within

the two weeks of breaking up.

It's a grace period.

You're an idiot.

But I look so good.

Come on, Dan,

just come with me okay?

I don't know, man.

Fine.

Don't come to the game.

But you're coming to the party.

I'll think about it, okay?

There's nothing to think about.

Don't be a b*tch.

You know Megan's

not even gonna be there.

Maybe she will be.

She's not allowed in the house

again and you know this.

I'll even put a sign

on the door saying,

"Megan Decatur, go home."

Right?

Look, i... I'm just...

I just don't feel

like me right now.

Dan, it wouldn't be a party

without you.

Besides, all the seniors

are gonna get a keg

of coconut Porter.

How much?

Nothing, dude.

It's a gift from the pledges.

Fine.

Okay, I'll come for a little bit

and I'll have a couple of beers,

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