What Happened Last Night Page #3

that's it.

That's all I ask.

You sure you don't

wanna come for the game?

Yes, I'm sure.

Suit yourself.

See you later.

Later, brother.

Hello, tiny.

Hey, beautiful.

What can I get you?

I am supposed to meet Liz.

Have you seen her?

Yeah, she's in the back.

I see her. Thank you.

- See you.

- Okay.

Hey, girl.

Ugh!

It's about time you showed up.

I'm so sorry.

I was kind of talking to Sarah.

Wait, she's still coming

tonight, right?

Well, yeah,

but she doesn't want to.

Oh, let me guess.

Dave?

Of course.

Because it's always about Dave.

She has completely forgotten

about herself

before that horse's ass.

They were together,

like, what, six months?

Barely.

She's just not herself anymore.

And honestly, because of all

the bitching and the moaning,

I'm getting sick of her.

I know.

She used to be so much fun.

Now she's just

a stick in the mud.

Hello.

What can I get you guys?

Oh, I want a bikini blonde.

What was that I had last time?

Was it a coconut...?

Uh...

Porter. Yes.

Porter.

Goes down real smooth.

Can I have one of those?

Yeah, you really liked that one.

Yeah.

Okay, okay. Real talk.

What are you wearing tonight?

Seriously?

I don't know. You know me.

I don't know either.

I can't decide

if I wanna wear a skirt or not.

Well, do you want

a bunch of guys

or just a couple?

What do you think?

Wear a skirt.

Okay, okay.

Don't wanna be the only one

wearing a skirt.

I'll get Sarah to wear one

or something, okay?

You promise she's coming?

Honey, look at me. Ready?

She is going to go to that party

whether I have to drug her

and drag her ass there.

She will be there.

I love it.

Aah! Sorry.

Ah, it's okay, it's okay.

Oh, that looks amazing.

Mm, cheers.

Aah!

You are a goddess among women,

Deedee.

Oh, thank you.

Where is Sarah?

Studying.

Again? On a Friday night?

My sentiments exactly.

Please tell me she's coming

to the party tonight.

She better.

She is still getting over Dave,

the horse's ass.

Thank god she didn't come.

He's over there right now.

What?

I didn't see him when...

I didn't see him when I came in.

What the heck is he doing here?

I don't know.

This is Sarah's place.

He's never come here before.

Oh, my god. Do you remember

he used to go over

and make fun of her

when you and I came here?

Yeah, because he's an a**hole.

I don't know

what she ever saw in him.

I have no idea.

He's over there

flirting with some girl.

What a horse's ass.

You said it.

So, Liza...

Leila.

Right.

Yeah, tell me,

are you transferred

or something?

I haven't seen you before.

I'm a traveling

chapter consultant

for my sorority,

so just checking in

on the house.

Nice. Delta, delta, delta,

can I help ya, help ya, help ya?

No. Alpha delta pi, actually.

Oh. Sexy, yeah.

I like pie.

Like I've never heard

that one before.

Let me guess, lambda chi?

Oh, my goodness gracious.

Well, there's nothing we can do

about it now.

Really?

Mindy, what are you doing?

Watch me.

Sarah, no...

She is so bad. Uh-oh.

I'm gonna lose my job.

Yeah.

Oh.

Frats aren't really my speed.

Yeah, you could've fooled me.

I know a lot of fraternities

you'd fit right into.

Oh, thank you.

I gotta go

wait, sit and watch. Come on.

Okay.

You know, people told me

I should rush.

Thing is I realized, why

the hell should I limit myself

to one party per week.

You know? I mean...

Oh, my god. What the hell?

I...

Get away from me, you creep!

Mindy?

Just get away, yeah.

You just touched my boob!

Oh, my god. She's so bad.

Put these on, put these on.

I didn't even see you there!

How could you not see her?

I saw her.

I was looking at you.

Hey, is there a problem here?

He touched my boob, tiny.

No, i... I didn't

yes. Yes, yes, you did.

Either you did or didn't.

I'm gonna get this on video.

Okay, yeah.

Technically i...

What the hell do you care,

anyway?

Go back to stacking cups

or whatever it is you do.

Say what?

He... he knew my name too.

That's because you're a b*tch,

Mindy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.

Don't talk to the lady

like that.

Dude, you're not part of this.

Hey, I wasn't talking to you,

okay?

So why don't you go off or...?

What? You're gonna bite me

in my kneecap

or something, short stuff?

Huh?

Excuse me?

Look, okay,

everyone just chill out

for a second here

and shut up, okay?

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Honey.

Oh, my god. He didn't buy you

that drink, did he?

Yeah?

You didn't.

I bet he put something in this.

What?

Oh, yeah. He definitely did.

No, I didn't!

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god. No.

No, no, no.

My god.

You put something in my drink?

It's time for you to go.

No. No, no, no.

It's not time

for me to go, okay?

Look i...

Are you kidding me?

Will everyone just shut up,

please? Shut up.

Tell me to shut up

one more time, bro.

Shut...

Up.

That's it.

Oh, my god.

I'm gonna get fired tomorrow.

Look...

Look, uh, Laura...

Leila.

I did not put something

in your drink.

And I did not mean to do

whatever with her breast.

You know what?

You're disgusting.

Lauren!

- Leila!

- Whatever!

Come on! I'm not a creep!

Yeah, you are.

I thought I told you to shut...

Oh, yeah.

Up.

Yeah, you did.

And that's a little problem.

I wasn't talking to you.

I think maybe we both said

some things

that we regret...

Shut up.

Yeah.

Did you touch

this woman's breast?

I may have grazed it...

by accident.

Apologize.

What?

Apologize.

I'm sorry.

Wait, what was that?

- I didn't hear it. Did you?

- No.

Come a little closer,

and speak a little louder.

I can't hear it.

What was that?

I'm sorry

that I grazed your breast.

Now get out.

I haven't even finished

my beer yet.

I think you have a problem

following directions.

Why don't I help you?

No, no.

It's fine.

Bye.

Aah!

Brush it off, brush it off.

Okay, okay, I have to admit,

that was priceless.

Yeah, and don't call 911

till he's dead, okay?

Hey, tiny?

I think he may have sh*t

the floor,

so you might wanna mop that up.

Okay, okay, oh.

Oh, that was so much fun.

Okay, seriously, though.

Mm-hm.

I'm gonna need you to make sure

that Sarah is coming tonight.

You know it's better

when we travel in threes.

Oh, yeah, there's that,

but then there's a ho rule.

What?

Haven't heard of the ho rule?

No. What is that?

Okay, so when girls travel

in threes...

Mm.

There's the pretty one,

which is obviously me.

Obviously.

Then there's the smart one,

which is Sarah.

Mm-hm. And then there's the ho.

And then there's the ho.

Mm-hm.

Wait, are you saying I'm the ho?

Say it loud and proud, baby!

Okay, I'm the ho!

Oh, you like that? Mm.

Hi, mom. How are you?

I'm fine, just studying.

No, I'm going to a party

tonight.

Greg. What's up, little bro?

How you doing?

Uh, not much, man.

Joe is making me go

to this party tonight,

and that's not what college

is all about.

You gotta focus on your studies.

You get your sat scores back?

Good man. Good man.

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