What Just Happened

[CAMERA CLICKS]

BEN:

Vanity Fair named me...

...as one of the 30 most powerful

producers in the business.

WOMAN:
Over on the wall there and

on the table are charts which indicate...

...where each of you

has been designated to stand.

BEN:
Power is an elusive term,

but in Hollywood, it's everything.

I don't care

what they say.

You either have it, want it,

or you're afraid of losing it.

Where you stand at these things

or who you may be standing next to...

...may not seem like the most

important thing, but it really matters.

- Congratulations.

- A bit awkward...

...but I was wondering if some changes

could be made to the placements.

- It's...

- Right.

Some of these people

are not really...

..."producer" producers,

if you know what I mean.

They just put their names

on the movies...

...but they don't really do anything.

BEN:
You see, recently,

over a two-week period...

...my career, hell, my whole life,

was severely tested.

Let's just say my power credentials

were on the line, bigtime.

MAN 1 [IN MOVIE]: In his wacky crazy

kooky world, Charlie...

BEN:
And it all started in Costa Mesa

at a preview of a film I produced.

MAN 2 [IN MOVIE]:

I can't feel my legs.

BEN:

The movie was titled Fiercely.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING

IN MOVIE]

[BIRDS SQUAWKING]

BEN:
These test screenings

with an audience are critical.

Always a lot of production people,

always a lot of marketing executives...

...and of course the studio chief,

Lou.

If the number is high,

there's a celebration...

...if the number is low,

and the preview cards stink...

...well, let's just say

many people will suffer.

She'll make sure of it.

I needed this one to work.

WOMAN [IN MOVIE]:

I know.

Go.

[GUNSHOT]

[DOG BARKING]

[BARKING]

I'm not gonna beg.

You think I care about me?

You think it's me I care about?

It's you I worry about.

I think they should kill him.

SEAN [IN MOVIE]:

Your salvation.

Father, forgive them,

they know not what they do.

[SLURPING]

[DOG BARKING]

No!

[AUDIENCE GASP]

MAN 2:

Oh, my God.

WOMAN 1:

They shot the dog. Poor thing.

WOMAN 2:

They shot the dog?

MAN 3:

Let's go.

WOMAN 3:

Excuse me. Excuse me.

[BIRDS SQUAWKING]

[GUNSHOT IN FILM]

MAN 4:
Okay. How about that,

ladies and gentlemen?

What do you think? Listen, we'll just

ask you to remain in your seats...

...for just a few minutes

while we hand out these cards.

Will you hand out the cards,

please?

We appreciate you

taking the time to stick around...

...give us your thoughts. You are part

of the filmmaking process...

...and we value whatever it is

you have to say.

I want to remind you guys,

this is a test screening.

That's gonna mean

there's some post production.

When they're done, you want me to put

the cards and numbers in your car?

You can, you know how I feel. I don't

pay much attention to the numbers.

- You don't think they're relevant?

- No, Carl, we're here to lead.

Sure, sure, sure.

I noticed a couple of the shots...

...right before Sean Penn gets killed

were taken out of The Third Man.

Like, the way the dog

crosses between his legs...

...it's the same thing

with Harry Lime and the cat.

It's like he's, you know, he's building

upon what Carol Reed originally did

Ben. Ben. Ben, thank you for

allowing me to be part of this.

Fantastic. It's fantastic.

Big foreign upside.

Jimmy.

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Ben, I'd like to introduce you to Jimmy.

Jimmy, Ben. Ben, Jimmy.

We just met, yes.

Jimmy wants to invest

in the next one.

Oh, that's good.

Where'd he get his money?

- Hair.

- Oh, hair?

- Hair.

- That's good to know.

- Yeah. More than 70 shops.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

- Well, let me think about that.

- Good. Good. Okay.

- Good.

Glad you guys liked the movie.

- Thank you. Nice to meet you.

JIMMY:
Good job. Nice to meet you.

BOB:
The length is the very least

of its problems, I guarantee.

- Sitting in there, you hear the people?

DICK:
What about Sean?

BOB:
That was brutal. Unrelenting.

DICK:
Sean was Sean, it was...

BOB:
The air was sucked out of the

room halfway through the damn thing.

I thought the girl was very, very good.

Didn't you?

BOB:

Please.

Blood, body parts,

heartbreaking sadness.

- How am I supposed to sell this thing?

DICK:
Let's be positive.

- This could be the year for grief.

BOB:
Grief for who?

They shot the dog in the head.

Hey, Ben.

It's good to see you, Bob.

- Dick, what are you doing here?

- I represent the girl.

She's gonna be a star.

I thought preview policy

was no agents?

I snuck in, I'm gonna sneak out.

So?

Yes?

What did you think?

Well, I thought there was

a lot of interesting stuff to...

I loved the music.

It's still in my head.

Thanks.

MAN:

Here you go.

DAWN:
It's almost there, Ben. If Jeremy

would just cooperate with the cut...

...and we get lucky with the reviews,

we got a chance.

We'll deal with all this tomorrow.

I just gotta talk to Lou, it's time.

LOU:
Ben. Where's your director?

- Hello.

Missed his plane at Heathrow, he's sick

about it. It'll be in tomorrow morning.

It's hard to produce

a good movie, Ben.

Very.

- Sean. Just brilliant.

SEAN:
Hey.

- Brilliant work.

- Thanks. Hey, Ben.

You're never not great,

you're just great.

- Think we got a shot?

- Absolutely. Jeez.

- Well, we'll see.

LOU:
Yeah.

BEN:
I'll see you later.

LOU:
Okay, I'll see you in Cannes.

- Did you work out the G5?

LOU:
Yes.

I gotta smoke on the plane.

- We're gonna lose money.

- How do you know?

- A lot of money.

- You know this before it's done?

That's right.

- Even before the DVD comes out?

- Pretty much.

[HARMONICA MUSIC PLAYING

ON STEREO]

[MUSIC STOPS]

[HAZARD LIGHT CLICKING]

[ALARM CLOCK CHIMING]

I did try to call Jeremy

after the screening.

MAN:
You seemed reluctant.

- I was not.

He's the director, for God's sakes.

If I did say:

"F*** me, why should this be easy?"

That doesn't mean I'm not enthusiastic.

- You're feeling good about last night?

- Yes.

As I was saying,

I am very enthusiastic...

...and it's a little too soon

to get excited...

...but all signs to me say,

between us, through the roof.

- Through the roof? That's great.

- Yeah.

- That's great.

- Did you see this?

- About Jack?

- Yeah, did you hear about it?

- Yeah, I couldn't believe it.

- Yeah.

Yeah, it's terrible.

I'm looking at this headline.

Who would have guessed?

He was doing so well, right?

"Ten percenter

puts himself in turn around."

Bad joke.

Yeah, it's page one, that's cold.

But you still gotta admit

it's pretty funny, don't you think?

I can see how sympathetic you are.

Argh.

Oh, come

I'm on my way.

Yeah, I'll be there in two minutes.

No, I'm not late at all.

I'm not late, they'll be there

in plenty of time. That I promise.

They will be there on time. Hello?

Hello? Hello?

MAX:

Hi, Daddy.

- Morning, gorgeouses.

SOPHIE:
Hi, Daddy.

Who dresses you guys?

MAX:
We do.

SOPHIE:
We do.

MAX:
Mom wants to ask you something.

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