What Richard Did

F***ing hell, man.

- Where's the love, man?

Somebody's got a problem

Rich, you're driving like my f***ing

granny, and my granny's dead.

- Sure, look at that car.

- And my granny's dead.

- On, my am!

- mm is a Mustang.

- Mm defend him.

- He still got slagged.

And everybody was still a bollocks

to him. That's not my fault.

- You tailed in your mission.

- Yeah, I did, man. I did.

You should... You should just give up

your armband as class captain.

Because you f***ed up.

Right, I'm f***ing dropping

the two of youse off.

Oh, my God, man.

That was her first shot at that

and you just shot her down straightaway.

You can make him a sandwich.

Whatever is gonna be nice, you think,

and you're just gonna have it

That was nothing.

Well, no, I'm dressing it first

and then we're adding...

He likes to dress things before he

Eat it anyway.

Yeah, well, maybe you'd like to eat it

when you farted on it.

- Chicken fillets, yeah'?

- Yeah, fur me.

You seriously didn't get mine?

You f***ing...

What the f*** did I say to you?

- When are you going on your break?

- - I'm going right now.

- "When's your break?"

- "I'm on my break now."

"You're on your break..."

Oh, here. Wait, wait, wait

Jakesy...

You alright, man?

- How's things?

Hey, guys. What's going on?

Are you well? What are you doing

for the rest of the afternoon?

- Nothing.

OK, look. See that card?

All you have no do is...

- Take it?

- No, don't take it.

All you have to do

is give it a little rub.

- That is savage. Absolutely class.

- Slick, isn't he? He's slick.

- Stop doing mat. F***'s sake.

How did you fold that, though?

No.

- Hey, ladies. - Guys,

so nice of you to show up.

- Hey there, peas.

- Thanks for having us down.

No worries, it'll be good.

- Who's the baby?

- This, ladies, is Magic Boy.

- Jake.

- Alright?

He's the coolest.

Take care of him, yeah?

- What's your name?

- Jake.

This is the gaff.

- Stop being a retard.

- Rich, this is so adorable

Dune. I got it. I got ii!

Bagsy top bunk

Somebody said

there was a party here, lads.

- Hey, Dis.

- Come here to me, buddy.

- Good to see you. Alright?

- Good, man.

How's form? Alright, lads?

How's things?

- Hey, superstar.

- Hey, Sophie.

- What's going on? How are you?

- I'm good, I'm good.

- Yeah? Does your da know you're here?

- Come meet my friends.

- They'll freak the tuck...

- Jake, come here.

- This is Richard.

- Hey.

How are you? Rich. Nice to meet you

How's it going, man?

Jake, do you know Sophie, by the way?

Have you met?

- Yeah, I've seen you before.

- How are you'?

I definitely won't he going for a swim.

- So would you, Rich?

- What'!

Sophie Kilroy.

- F*** off, man.

- of course he would.

- She's Pat's daughter, lads.

- And? You love him.

It would be like shagging your idol,

only not going gay, you know.

- Hey, Donor.

- Hey.

Donor, I'm freezing.

Oh, my God, Lam

- Hi!

- Hi, Con-man, what's up?

Super-Rich. What's the craic?

I didn't know you guys were here.

Alright, lads.

I'm gonna go and be sociable.

Do you want a drink

or something?

- Hey, guys. Can I grab a water?

- Yeah.

Nice. Thanks.

Sorry, do you guys know each other?

Lara Hogan, this is Richard Karlsen.

- Hey.

- Hi.

You down for long?

- Just tonight

- Where are you staying at'?

- Tent City.

- And yourself?

Just over by the pub over there

There's a pub?

With a roof?

Here, where's Jake?

Here, man.

Look, you look about 12. Take that Off.

Con.

Gun-man. I got my invitation

to your party.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, man. Nice photo collage.

Everybody looks a mm in their

communion photos, to be fair.

I bet you looked sh*t cool

in yours, though, Rich.

Came to think of it, maybe I did.

- If I see 8 drink in his hand...

- No, we're all over 18.

- Fine, bull won't serve children.

- I may look young, hut I'm old money.

- It's Coke.

- Better be

And no flashing your mickeys.

I know what you rugby lads are like.

You know I wouldn't allow that, Fiona

Nice one, man.

Told you I was sh*t

No, it was brilliant.

It was gorgeous.

Going for a smoke, man

Oh, thanks.

Hera

Thank you.

Here you are.

I don't actually smoke

- You're cutting loose?

Yeah, I'm going totally wild.

- Go. WW...

You're not a fan?

I just don't get the whole "lost

in the Celtic mists" intensity of...

Plus, nobody knows

what the f*** he's saying

"I'm asleep and don't wake me."

- Well, I obviously got that bit.

Obviously.

Alright'!

- Hey.

- What's up?

Just answer ii.

- Magic Boy's mum's freaking out

- You didn't check in, man?

- Get blazed.

- Give me mat.

Richard Karlsen to the rescue.

Mrs Galvin. Richard Karlsen here.

Yeah, Jake's grand. He's with me.

It's just this kind of unofficial

Raglan tradition we do.

We grab the Js

and bring the lads down the country

to show them what it's like

to be on the senior team.

Oh, yeah, he's being well looked after.

We've gm a couple of fine Raglan boys

down here lust watching out for him.

Yeah, yeah.

- He was out there working away and...

- Give me some magic

HE'S brilliant. Exceptional.

He's a real credit to you, I must say.

L did indeed do n myself, yeah.

I want to see your titties.

Yeah.

I'll have him call you

first thing in the morning

- Show me your tricks.

- Bye-bye.

Outstanding. What a performance...

- F***ing hell.

- How did you not break?

- F***ing idiot.

- How did you not break, man?

- Fair play.

- Fair play.

What's the teams?

I'll go with you. I'm not losing again.

You're sh*t when you play together.

You are the worst pool players

I've ever seen in my life.

I'm just gonna grab a beer.

Give me one sea

Hey, man, Soph's in trouble.

Just come here.

Bye, GUYS

- Sophie?

- Get lost

- Come on, man, open the door.

- (man! F*** you.

F*** Off, she's a f***ing kid

Stay there.

- Sophie, come on.

- Just leave me alone

Let's go. Come on. It's over now.

Come on.

- I like being carried by you.

- Sophie, behave.

Here's the good Samaritan man.

- Have a good time, did you?

- Alright

- How's it going?

- - Anyone want a nightcap?

F*** oh', I'm on my break.

I think that lads in general actually

wanna get on with each other,

- as opposed to girls who naturally...

- They just like m...

It's like that thing about horses.

Do you know what I mean? Apparently...

Apparently horses, right,

naturally exclude one another.

So if there's three horses in afield,

two of them will slick together

and shun the other one.

It's true. Like us, as in, you know,

we son of hate each other.

Without getting too f***ing gay

about it, right,

I'd talk?0 you lads

about pretty much anything.

Have you ever seen girls

in a bathroom together

talking about one of them being bulimic?

I don't walk into girls' bathrooms

It's not funny, but it's f***ing funny.

Seriously.

When have you done this?

N was a mate's gaff.

I went up to the jacks.

I walked in and I was like,

"Is it OK if I'm in here?"

There were people drinking everywhere

in the house so I said, "Is it OK?"

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