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What Women Want Page #5
you can take it...
even when you're
faking a headache.''
[ Laughter ]
Woman turns to her husband and says,
''Not tonight, I need an Advil. ''
- He's back.
- [ Laughs ]
What ? Come on. That doesn't
reach women on a personal level ?
- No.
- Women do that, don't they ?
- I don't.
- No ?
Sue Cranston, you've done that,
haven't you ? Faked a headache to--
No, Nick, I haven't.
Thanks for asking.
No, wait, wait, wait.
Be honest now.
I mean, you've been married
You've never faked a headache ?
lt doesn't work like a charm ?
No, Nick, I haven't.
I mean, no, it doesn't,
okay ? Jeez.
- [ Thinking ] What an a**hole !
- I guess I'm off base here.
What's good is you're looking at
Advil from a woman's point of view.
Um, I don't think Advil
will go for it,
and I'm pretty sure every woman
in America will hate it.
Other than that,
I thought it was great.
You're on the right track.
Hang in there. Go ahead.
Great antenna there, babe.
The poodle give you that one ?
- [ Screams ]
- What are you doing home early ?
- I have my first migraine.
This is hideous. My boyfriend
feeling me up in front of my father.
Don't think anything. The outlook
wasn't good for the Mudville Nine.
- The score was four to two.
- Oh, sh*t. Where's my bra ?
- Where is it ?
- Oh, God.
Oh, God !
Okay, look. Everybody
There'll be no chilling.
Just get your stuff... and move on.
Come on, man. Relax.
- How old are you ?
- I just turned 1 8.
Well, she's 1 5.
She was 10 five years ago.
You know what I'm saying,
stud ? Now get out.
Dad ! [ Thinking ] We're going
to the prom. Don't ruin it.
- You're not going with this punk.
- How did you know about prom ?
Look, I don't know.
Mom told me, all right ?
It's not gonna happen
because he's too old for you.
I know what boys want, and he's not
getting it from my daughter. Door.
Your daughter ?
Suddenly, I'm your daughter.
- How am I related to this a**hole ?
- Another one.
- I want Mom.
- Look, l'm just gonna take off.
- Save it.
That's mine.
Where-- Where are you--
[ Sighs ]
Great day.
[Thunderclap]
Okay, l'm not losing
my mind.
- This will work. It's gotta work.
-This has gotta work. Sh*t. Perfect.
- [ Screams ]
- [Thunderclap]
[Thunderclap]
Come on !
Do your thing !
Turn me into me again !
Oh, good, I'm not dead.
[ Panting ]
Oh, please !
Please, please, please.
Tell me I got rid of it.
- [ Beeping ]
- Please be a woman. Please.
- For what city, please ?
- You couldn't do me a favor...
and think of your favorite color
For what city, please ?
[ Sighs ]
Flo ? Hey, Flo !
- Flo ?
- [Siren Wailing]
I can't believe this.
I need a woman.
-Try this one.
-Oh, I love this. This is fantastic.
Oh, it's my mother's birthday
next week, so I need two gift sets.
You've been a great help.
I appreciate it.
Do you have a Kleenex back there
so I can wipe that off ?
I'm sure she'll like it.
It's one ofourbestsellers.
- Do I get a free gift with this ?
- Yes, you get a travelbag.
Thank you.
[ Chuckles ]
Stop it. You've got the dress.
Treat yourself to lipstick.
- No, I have enough at home.
- You might as well get one, right ?
I have too many lipsticks. I have
piles of them. I don't need it.
- I'll buy it for you.
- lf he doesn 't answer in two rings,
- I swear to God !
- Hi, blue eyes.
[ Women Thinking
Simultaneously ]
[ Nick Screaming ]
[ Buzzing ]
- Dr., you may not remember me.
- Yes ?
I'm Nick Marshall. I came here about
ten years ago with my ex-wife, Gigi.
- [ Thinking ] Oh, Christ, not him.
- Oh, good, you remember me.
I'm sorry to barge in like this,
but I don't know who to turn to.
I'm afraid to go to work.
I'm afraid of my door woman.
I'm-- I'm afraid
to get a cup of coffee.
Mr. Marshall,
please slow down. Slow down.
Let me make sure I completely
understand what it is you're saying.
[ Sighs ]
All right. All right.
I hear what women think.
Yeah. You know,
Mr. Marshall,
this kind of imaginary
displacement scenario...
- I'm not imag--
- really isn't my thing.
I do, however, have a very good
friend over at University Hospital,
who specializes in male menopause
and testosterone depletion.
She's fabulous. I think what I'll do
is just give her a ring...
and send you overthere.
Why did I answer my door ? I was so
into buying that lamp on eBay.
- How much was it going for ?
- How much was what going for ?
The lamp on eBay.
Oh, I see. That's good.
Very clever.
- Dr. Skolnick, please.
- You don't believe me. Try another.
Go on. Pick a number.
Give it a whirl. Any number.
Okay. A number
between one and--
- A million. Why not ?
- One and a million.
All right.
Mm.
Wanna make a decision here ?
- Oy vay!
- Oh, you can say that again.
- I didn't say anything.
- Doesn't mean I didn't hear it.
Okay. Okay. Let's say--
Let's say I do believe you.
- Yeah.
- You can hear what women think.
Even though I'm a grown
woman of... [ Thinking ] 51 .
- 47.
- Oh, my lips are sealed.
Holy crap !
Oh, forgive me.
- That's all right.
- But this is phenomenal.
- You can hear inside my head.
- Yes.
Why would you want to get rid
of such a brilliant gift ?
Well, for starters,
thinks I'm an a**hole.
- What I thought when I met you.
- Doc, give me a break here.
Mr. Marshall, you might
find this a little unorthodox,
but would you mind
awfully if I smoked ?
- No, no, I understand.
- Thank you. Thank you so much.
[ Coughs ]
Let's try to look at
the up side of this, shall we ?
You know, Freud died at age 83
still asking one question,
''What do women want ?''
Wouldn't it be strange and wonderful
if you were the one man on Earth...
finally able to answer
that question ?
Listen to me, Nick.
Something extraordinary...
and I think miraculous
has happened to you.
My advice is
you must learn from this.
You know, there isn't
a single woman that I treat...
that doesn't wish her man
understood her better.
If men are from Mars and women are
from Venus and you speak Venusian,
the world can be yours.
I don't know how this
happened to you or why,
but you may just be
the luckiest man on Earth.
lmagine the possibilities.
lf you know
what women want,
you can rule.
[ Thinking ] Hubba-hubba, here he
comes, looking awfully good today.
And I haven't had sex
in four months. Okay, six.
Why did I tell him to stop
asking me out ? I'm an idiot!
- [ Chuckling ]
Hey, Nick, how's it going ?
Lola, my love.
I can't take no for an answer.
- About what ?
- About what ?
[ Chuckles ]
About us.
Just don't hurt me, Nick.
I've been hurt too many times.
I know how hard it is
to go out with someone new.
I mean, there's always
that fear of,
well, getting hurt.
- At least that's how I feel inside.
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"What Women Want" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/what_women_want_23295>.
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