When Harry Tries to Marry

For thousands of years,

families around the world...

...have chosen whom

their children would marry.

lt"s called

an arranged marriage.

Yeah, i know.

Arranged marriages?

They don"t sound

all that romantic,..

...but the upside is, they have a

very low risk of divorce.

lt"s quite simple, actually.

See, with arranged marriages,..

...family and friends are involved

in the matchmaking process.

From day one, so finding your life

partner becomes a whole lot easier...

...and painless, because everyone

has a stake in making the...

...marriage work.

Those are my grandparents.

Married 52 years.

My uncle and aunt...

...30 years.

And most of my other relatives--

They"ve also had arranged

marriages,..

...and all of them are

still married.

The bride and groom on the stage,

they barely know each other.

But you know what?

Nine out of ten, they"ll be married till

death do them part,..

...compared to the over 50% of today"s

love marriages,..

...which will ultimately end in divorce.

Prime example...

My parents.

They had a love marriage.

l know what you"ve been doing

behind my back.

lf it bothers you so much, why didn"t

you say something all these years?

- You repulse me.

- Stop playing victim.

For god sake"s, he"s upstairs.

Keep your bloody voice down.

Don"t twist my words.

l did what l thought was right.

l married you, didn"t l?

l should have never

fallen in love with you.

l want a divorce.

Now, don"t get me wrong, okay?

l"m not saying that all love

marriages are doomed to fail.

But why would l take the risk

when l clearly don"t have to?

l just won"t fall in love, not yet.

l"ll stick to time- honored tradition,..

...and get an arranged marriage,

and eventually, My wife and i will...

...grow to love each other,

just like my grandparents.

And we, too, will live happily

ever after, just like them.

We are gathered here on this

beautiful day...

...to join together...

- l love you.

- l love you too.

- l love you more.

- No, l love you more.

Oh, a teddy bear!

- You're my teddy bear.

- You're my teddy bear.

Oh, god.

l'm so sorry!

- Will you watch where you're going?

- l'm sorry.

l'm very sorry about that.

- They're just saying their "l do's."

Sorry again.

l see no reason to waste time. l"ll

get married right after l graduate.

l"ve even picked the date.

Everything is set.

Well, almost everything.

- Hello.

- Hello. Deepak uncle.

- Yes.

- lt's Harry.

- Harry who?

- Harry Shankar from New York.

- Do l know you?

- Sort of. l'm Dev and Geeta's son.

Oh, my, my, my. Those two.

l warned them.

- You did.

- And now they are divorced.

- Like you predicted.

- What a shame, huh?

Deepak uncle,

l don't know how to say this.

- Well, say it.

- l want to get married.

Will you help me?

- Of course.

When all else fails,

Pundit Deepak prevails.

- l think l just found Theresa's knight.

- Harry?

l gotta send that to your mom.

She likes that kind of stuff, man.

To get along with his mother- in- law.

- l like that.

- Good morning, everyone.

So, today's topic, with divorce rates

so high, why do people bother...

...getting married anymore?

- Perhaps free oral sex.

Maybe this is why divorce rates

are so high in America.

ln my country we respect marriage.

lt's something that's good...

...for the progress of society.

We take our time to arrange them...

...so that they last. When two people

get married at a younger age,..

...they have time to grow and accept

each other's ldiosyncrasies.

That's why lndia has one of the lowest

divorce rates in the world.

- Thank you, Mr. Shankar.

- Well, maybe Harry's not so off- base.

But l mean, l have my own take

on the whole thing.

l call it the Sonny and

Cher syndrome.

l mean, she was a gorgeous girl with a

great voice and a sweet set of legs...

...who hooked up with a short guy

who sang out of tune.

But they got divorced.

After how many

successful years together?

Not to mention their own tv show,

Like 15 Emmy nominations,..

...and millions in record sales.

l mean, come on.

What we're talking about is making the

best of a situation here, not a miracle.

Actually, this is a great topic

for this term paper.

Marriage versus mating. Theresa, why

don't you and Harry pair up?

Do your paper together. How's that for

an arranged marriage, Harry?

You went behind my back, Harish?

How could you?

Mom, let me explain, okay?

You wouldn't help.

l had no choice but to

start calling around.

No choice. Do you know how

embarrassing it is to have this...

...Kook Deepak trying to arrange your

only son's wedding, and you don't...

...even know about it?

lt's called

an arranged marriage.

That means someone actually

has to arrange it.

Oh, please, darling.

You're just going through a phase.

Wetting my bed was a phase, mom.

This is not a phase.

Don"t be a fool, Harish.

No mother in her right mind...

...is going to let her daughter marry a

boy whose own mother wants...

...no part of the marriage.

- lt's your duty to help me.

l know you're disappointed with me

right now, but when you look back...

...on this a year from now,

you will thank me.

Fine. l'll see what dad has

to say about it.

You're lovely, and it was great fun,

but l do have to go upstairs now, baby.

Harry! My god, l forgot l invited you.

- Listen, l wanted to talk to you--

- That was fun.

- About something.

Of course we talk. Come.

Let's go join the party.

So, dad, what do you think

about my plan?

You have your whole life ahead of you.

Now's the time to enjoy yourself.

Go see what's out there.

Later is the time to marry.

Anyway, tonight is party night.

We shall discuss this another time.

Go! Live a little.

- Hello.

- Harish.

l have found the one for you.

Check your email.

Her name is Nita Shah.

- Nita Shah.

Nita Shankar.

Mrs. Nita Shankar.

She is 22, and from a very good

family. And your birth charts,..

...they match to perfection.

So, Harish, deal or no deal?

Well, can l think about it?

Harish, are you arranging this

marriage or am l arranging it?

Now listen, please. Her parents are

eager to get her married,..

...so time is of essence. And this

goldfish is not going to be swimming...

...in the tank for much longer.

- Oh. But--

- No buts.

Remember, you are no spring

chicken, Harish.

Already 22. That's like 72 in

prospect years.

And if you wait any longer to

get married, the only types we may...

...be able to find you are,

how do you call them?

Chicks.

Yes, chicks!

Who have already hatched.

And we all know what happens...

...when the shells break. Now we don't

want broken shells, do we, Harish?

- Oh, god, no.

- Oh, god, yes.

What is it going to be, Harish?

The egg or the chick?

The egg.

The egg for sure.

Ah, great!

l've included an email i. d.

So you can communicate

directly with her if you want to.

- Really? Will that be okay?

- Beta, this is the 21st century.

Don't they teach you anything

over there in the university?

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